Icing on the Cake
by JuliaA
Summary: MERDER AU...fluff, angst, Meredith is a twenty something year old New York Woman, Derek is a surgeon. When they meet, they become instantly attracted to each other. Sort of a romantic comedy...with some drama...Some times Rated M....but not always
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer::: I don't own grey's anatomy. If I did...kate walsh would stay at SGH

Okay, this is my new fic...I hope you like it.

About:Derek is a surgeon at a New York Hospital. He and His wife Addison divorced and he's been avoiding the dating world. Meredith is in her mid twenties and works in a bakery for Miranda Bailey. She works alongside one of her best friends Izzie Stevens. One day Derek meets Meredith and...(sorry I can't give much away.)

Icing on the Cake

Meredith Grey walked through the sunny streets of New York in a hurry. She was carrying her Fiji water and her L.L Bean tote, while trying to get to work. Today was a Saturday and sure to be a busy day. When she walked into the Miranda's Sweets Bakery she heard "These are the Days" by Natalie Merchant Blaring.  
The bell over the door rang and her boss Miranda Bailey came out. Miranda was usually sweet as candy, but if she was rushed or stressed all Hell could brake loose. "Meredith, you're here!"

"Sorry, I'm late. I had to pick over those muffin orders from Mr. Henley on Monroe Street." Meredith said as she put her bags in the back. "Its bigger than the last order and he decided to make a dozen of them raspberry."

"Is he the one with the wife with the fake ta-ta's?" Bailey asked motioning to her breasts.

"No, he's the one with the dog that humps anything with a heartbeat." Meredith laughed. "Mr. Washburn is the one with the wife that has the ta-ta's"

"Eww." Miranda made a grossed out face. "Okay, Izzie is in the back icing cupcakes. I made a list of the kinds we need made. Right now she is working on a batch of pastel cupcakes and the order for that church. Oh and all of the scheduled morning pickups are done. But I need you to finish the cake that I started for the pickup this afternoon for the Henderson wedding. Are you sure you two are going to be alright, while I go to my niece's wedding?"

"Yes Miranda. Every time you leave us in charge, we have survived." Meredith smiled. "You can quiz me."

"What do you do if your iced flowers wilt?" Miranda asked.

"I add a little bit of starch to the icing, if that doesn't work I might add a few granules of sugar to make the base more thick if I am making roses." Meredith added while she put on the apron.

"What temperature do we put the oven on for the sugar free cookies?" Miranda asked.

"Only 400 degrees in the big oven because we want to maintain our signature fluffiness." Meredith said as she ushered Miranda for the door.

"Okay, call me if you need anything."

"I will Miranda. Do not worry and have a good time." Meredith had Miranda out of the door, but Miranda turned around.

"Don't burn this place down. Not only will you have killed my business, but then I will have killed you." Miranda said as she walked away.

Meredith tossed her hair into a messy ponytail and let her bangs hang down.

Meredith laughed then went to the back. There was a tall blonde, who happened to be Meredith's best friend. "Hey."

"Hey." Izzie said as she looked up. "So, is Miranda finally calm and gone?"

"Yes, she's like a mother leaving her newborn baby." The girls laughed for a minute then the phone rang. Izzie went to answer it and Meredith began to ice the cupcakes with a pale pink.

Izzie hung up then walked back over to Meredith. "So, how was your night?

"It was alright. I stayed in, but Finn called." Meredith said as she moved on to another cupcake.

"Meredith you guys broke up six months ago." Izzie said. "You need to just ig…"

"He's getting married." Meredith interrupted.

Izzie's jaw dropped. "Already? You guys dated for five years and engaged for two of them. Are you alright?"

Meredith took a deep breath. "Yea, I guess so. I'm swearing off men for a while. I'm going to be 100 percent celibate and no dating."

Izzie laughed. "Maybe celibate, but you need to date."

Just then Meredith and Izzie heard the bell from the door.

Izzie looked up, "Girl, it's your turn. I've been here longer."

"Fine," Meredith stood up and wiped her hands on her apron. "Maybe we'll get a freakin' girl scout."

Meredith walked to the front of the store. "Hi, welcome to Miranda's Sweets."

The man looked up and smiled. He had perfect hair and piercing blue eyes. "Hi."

"Hi." Meredith was in shock. She instantly felt butterflies in her stomach.

The man stood there too just smiling at Meredith.

Suddenly Meredith jumped back to reality. "Um, uh…is there something I can help you with?"

"Uh yea…I'm here to pick up a birthday cake. My sister ordered it for our mother's birthday and I was just supposed to pick it up when I got off of work." The man said as he smiled some more.

"Oh…um…right." Meredith brushed a strand of hair out of her face. "What's the last name?"

"Shepherd, its Derek." He said still unable to stop looking at her.

"Right, Derek….Shepherd." Meredith began blushing. "Let me go get that for you."  
As Meredith walked past the counter to go into the kitchen she knocked over the brochures. "Oops." She bent over and grabbed them. Her face just blushed more from being so embarrassed.

Derek smiled and laughed lightly. He was amazed by how cute and striking she was. There was something about her that just made him smile. "You okay?"

"Yea, I'm fine. I'll be right back." Meredith rushed to the back and saw Izzie. She seemed panicked. "Have you seen the cake for Shepherd."

"Yea, it's with all of the other pick-up orders." Izzie stated the obvious. "And do you know you have a little bit of icing on your cheek?"

The blood drained from Meredith's face. "Damn it." Meredith wiped it off and went to find the cake.

"So why do you care so much about the icing and finding that cake?" Izzie said.

"No reason." Meredith turned around and went back to the front end and Izzie snuck behind her.

When Meredith got to the front she saw Derek standing at the register. "Alright, will this be all for you?"

"Yea…actually how are the scones here?" Derek said trying to make more conversation.

"They're delicious." Meredith said. "Would you like one?"

"Sure, what flavor would you recommend?" He asked as he looked at her eyes.

"I personally love the blueberry and they were put in the display ten minutes ago, so they are still a little warm." Meredith said. She couldn't take it anymore. The way she saw it, Derek was man candy.

"Well, I would love one." Meredith nodded and smiled. Derek couldn't take it anymore. "So you are?"

"Huh? Oh…I'm Meredith." She smiled nervously. She handed him the scone which was placed it a pastel yellow and pink paper bag. "It's on the house."

"Oh thank you." He paid for the cake and Meredith handed it over.

"Have a great day. "At this point Meredith felt like a complete idiot. She had never been this shy around a guy, not even Finn. It really wasn't even that she was shy, she was love struck. Now, the one guy that made her go weak in the knees, was walking out of the door.

"Hey uh Meredith." He said as she turned around to walk in the back.

Meredith quickly turned around. "Are you seeing anyone?"

"Excuse me?" She asked not sure of what he mean. Okay, she knew totally what he meant.

"I was just wondering if you were seeing anyone." Derek said, but Meredith still looked confused. "As in dating."

"I'm single." Meredith said. "So no, but I'm celibate.""Derek laughed. "So you're not seeing anyone?"

"Nope." Meredith said, feeling like a complete idiot. "I'm baking and I'm celibate, which you probably didn't care to know. This is fine, I'm not really sure why I told you in the first place and now I'm rambling, so I wish someone would just tell me to shut up. But, my point is that I am celibate and I'm currently baking in a bakery."

"Oh I see, well I was just wanting to know if you were busy tonight." Derek said sounding somewhat let down. "But if you don't want to the…"

Meredith interrupted, "I do, but it's just that I've sworn off men and I'm celibate."

"Oh, I see. So a dinner date say tonight at seven at Carfagna's Italian Restaurant is completely out of the question?" Derek said with a smile.

"I uh…I can't I have to go to dinner with my friend Izzie." Meredith knew it was a lie, but it was all she could come up with. "She gets really mad when I ditch her. You know, it's a girl thing."

"I see." Derek said. Meredith and Derek just stood in silence for a minute. 

Suddenly Izzie, whom had followed Meredith came out to the front end carrying a tray of sugar cookies. Meredith slid the door to the display open for her to slide the cookies in. "Hey Meredith."

Meredith jumped back to reality, "Yes Izzie?"

"I'm not going to be able to meet you for dinner. I'm going to have to cancel." Izzie smiled and winked at Meredith she then walked to the back of the store again.

Meredith stood there dumbfounded, because she now knew that Izzie had been listening in. She and Izzie never even had dinner plans for tonight. She looked back to Derek and smiled. "So I guess I'm free."

"Free for what?" Derek asked as his grin grew bigger.

"For our date, you know. If you still want to." Meredith became hopeful as she looked into his eyes. He was just so dreamy.

"I would love you...to. I would love to." Derek said realizing that he spit out the almighty phrase. He called him self an idiot in his mind then spoke. "So I can pick you up tonight."

"That would be great." Meredith giggled. She grabbed a brochure and a pen. She wrote her information. "Here, this is my address. If you go to the intercom and hit the button under 34B, then I can buzz you in the building. My doors the first one on the right and it's the third floor."

"Alright, well I will be there at seven." Derek kept looking at Meredith.

"Alright." Meredith smiled like a little school girl. "I'll see you at seven."

"Okay, well I better get going." Derek said as he took the cake and the bag. "Bye."

"Bye." Meredith waved weakly with her arm as she watched him walk out the door and smiled at him through the window. She turned around and saw Izzie standing behind the counter. "So you canceled our plans for tonight."

"We didn't have plans tonight wise-ass." Izzie laughed as cleaned off the display case. "If I hadn't have come in here you would have never gone on a date with him."

"I'm celibate." That was all Meredith could say.

"Mer, you are in need of a good date and a good screw." Izzie laughed then saw Meredith's reaction. "Sorry, but this Derek guy seems great and you two just eye-fucked, like nobody's business. "

"Eye-fucked?" Meredith questioned

"Yes and Meredith, it has been six months since you've been intimate with a man." Izzie said.

"That is not true." Meredith shot to defense. "I've had sex twice."

"Okay Meredith, the drunken sex with the men you kicked out first thing in the morning doesn't count." Izzie handed Meredith cookies to slice up for the sample tray. "You need to start dating. Besides whatever happened between you and Finn? I mean the man was an ass, but what happened?"

"I don't want to talk about it." Meredith said as she began cutting the cookies.

"You never want to talk about it." Izzie said. "You guys were engaged for two years. You haven't told Christina or me about it. Meredith, you tell us everything."

"Well, I don't want to talk about Finn anymore. We aren't together and he's getting married to an ugly bitch." Meredith said with a smile. "I don't know Derek."

"But you could know him." Izzie responded. "You could know him very well."

Meredith giggled. "He is very good looking."

"Yes he is."Izzie said stealing a bite of the cookies.

"I don't know what happened, he walked in and I actually felt butterflies." Meredith looked down at the cookies. "I can't remember a time when I saw a guy that made me feel like that."

Izzie smiled, "Well, Christina and I are going to be at the apartment tonight before we go out. Since I will probably be too drunk, I will crash at her place since I'm watching her kids tomorrow."

"And?"

"And, we will help you get ready for your date." Izzie said. "You don't have to worry; you can bring him back to our place."

"Haha." Meredith said. "Well you have fun, last time I stayed the night at there house I woke up with Lily in the bed with me."

"Really?" Meredith asked. "She is so funny for a four year old. The last time I baby sat for them. Lily and Nina were fighting over who got to play with my cell phone."

"I can't wait to have kids." Izzie said. "I mean, I really want them."

"I know, whenever anyone comes in here with a baby, I think you instantly begin getting milk on your boobs." Meredith joked.

"You're stupid." Izzie went to help a customer then returned to Meredith. "Do you want kids?"

"You know, I don't know. I used to, but then when I broke up with Finn, I thought what is the point?" Meredith frowned. "You think you're going to be with someone forever, then…well things change."

Izzie looked at Meredith out of concern. She obviously knew Finn hurt Meredith somehow, emotionally he had screwed her up."Yea, well maybe you'll want them again."

"Yea." Meredith said. "He's a good guy."

"Who?" Izzie asked.

"Derek, I can tell. I mean he just seems like a nice guy, but so did Finn."

"Yea, well just have a good time with Derek." Izzie recommended. "See where it goes."

"Yea."

Later that evening Meredith stood in her walk in closet looking for something to wear. Christina and Izzie sat on her bed.

"Meredith, whatever you where, you will look great." Izzie said.

"Yea Mer, what about that red dress." Christina commented as she took a sip from her diet coke.

Meredith continued to go through her closet while standing in her black lacey bra and matching panties. "He is taking me to a classy restaurant I want him to think I'm classy. I don't want him to look at me like I'm some five dollar whore."

Izzie and Christina laughed and Meredith came out in a dress, "How about this one?"

"Oh wear that one." Izzie said. "Mer, when did you get that dress?"

"At Bloomingdales, they were having a major sale." Meredith said as she looked in her mirror. She slid off her bra and put on a black lacey strapless.

"He is going to be undressing you before dinner." Christina said. "If this guy is as dreamy as Izzie says, you're getting screwed the bathroom before dinner."

Meredith rolled her eyes. "Izzie will you turn my hair iron on?"

"Sure." Izzie got up then walked into the restroom.

"Okay, what about these shoes?" Meredith stepped out of her closet.

"No, I think they are a bit much." Christina said.

Meredith sighed and went back into the closet. She came right back out into the main part of her bedroom. "Hey Izzie, do you still have those shoes that you wore to Miranda's wedding?"

"Sure, I'll go get them." Izzie ran down the hall and came back with another pair of shoes.

"What about these?" Meredith modeled the shoes and waited for a response.

"Those for sure." Christina said.

"Yea those for sure." Izzie said. "Here use this purse too."

"Okay." Meredith went into the restroom, where she did her hair and makeup.

She sat and talked with Izzie and Christina for about twenty minutes when they heard the buzzer. Meredith buzzed Derek in.

A few moments later they head a knock at the door. Izzie and Christina went to sit on the couch, while Meredith went to get the door. She opened the door and Derek Shepherd was standing there wearing a nice red dress shirt and dress pants.

"Hey, come on in." Meredith said. She felt the butterflies return.

"Hey, you look beautiful." He was holding a bouquet of flowers. "These are for you."

"Thanks, I'm going to go put these in water." Meredith walked to the kitchen with the flowers. When she got in there she took a deep breath. She whispered to herself. "You just met the man, why are you falling this hard."

In the living room Derek stood waiting patiently for Meredith, while Izzie and Christina adored him from the couch.

Meredith came out holding a paper bag from the bakery and her purse. "Derek these are my friend Izzie and Christina. Izzie is my roommate."

"Nice to meet you." Derek said to them with a smile.

"It is a pleasure to meet you." Christina said while twirling her hair.

"Nice to meet you." Izzie said all giggly.

"Well, I guess we can get going." Meredith said. "Bye girls.

"Bye." They said back.

Derek waved then put his hand on the small of her back. He led her out the door.

Inside, Izzie and Christina burst out laughing.

"She is so getting sex tonight." Christina said.

"Oh, totally. We should clean the place before we leave and lock up."Izzie said as she began to fold the blanket on the couch.

"I'll go make sure there is a condom in the bedside drawer." Christina said as she got up and checked.

READ AND REVIEW PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MORE TO COME…Let me know what you think…Meredith and Derek's date is next!!!


	2. First DateVery Mature

WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING  
WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING  
WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING  
WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING  
FOR MATURE READERS ONLY...DO NOT READ IF YOU GET EASILY OFFENDED!!!!

Derek escorted Meredith to the car and held the door open for her. She got in and Derek went and got in through the other side.

"Meredith, you look absolutely beautiful." Derek said as he put the keys in the ignition and looked over at Meredith.

"Well you're just comparing me to what you saw earlier with icing on my face." Meredith smiled then handed him the paper bag. "Oh these are some cookies and scones from the bakery."

"Thanks, I can't wait to try them, my family loved the birthday cake." Derek said. He looked at Meredith in eyes then at her lips. He would have given anything to pull her in to a kiss right there, but he knew it wasn't the right time. "Well, let's get going, shall we?"

"Yes." Meredith giggled. "I hope your mother had a great birthday."

"She did." He smiled then looked back at the road. "The icing was perfect."

"Thanks." Meredith smiled.

Derek drove to the restaurant and helped Meredith out of the car. He led her in to the restaurant and the waiter took them to their table.

"So, what do you do for a living? You know what I do." Meredith inquired.

"I'm a surgeon." Derek stated, "At New York Grace Hospital."

"Oh really? What is your specialty?" Meredith asked.

"Neurology." Derek answered.

"Do you know Preston Burke?" Meredith wondered.

"Yes I do." Derek answered. "How do you know him?"

"Oh, he is married to my friend Christina." Meredith replied.

"Oh well that is nice." Derek said. The waiter came to the table and took their orders then walked away. "So, Meredith you have a beautiful name. What's your middle name and last name, since I didn't find out earlier?"

"Ellen, Meredith Ellen Grey." She said. "What's your full name?"

Derek smiled then replied. "Derek Stanley Grey."

Meredith giggled. "Stanley?"

"Yes, what's so funny?" Derek laughed.

"Nothing, it's a very nice name." Meredith said as Derek put his hand on hers. "I like it."

Derek and Meredith just looked at each other in the eyes. Derek kept picturing Meredith and what it would be like to make love to her. Meredith in return was doing all she could to stop herself from fondling him with her foot on the table.

The food came and they two ate.

"So Derek, are you from New York?"

"Yes I am. Well I was born in Maine, but my parents moved us to New York when I was in the fifth grade." Derek said as he went back to stroking her hand. "You?"

"I'm from Boston. I moved out here after I graduated from the culinary arts school." Meredith said.

"That's cool. So do you like working in the bakery?" Derek asked.

"I love it. It's fun and like working with another family." Meredith said. "Do you like your job?"

"I love it." Derek said. "Meredith?"

"Yes."

"You have the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen." Derek smiled.

"Thank you. I have to say, you're eyes are amazing too." Meredith smiled.

The waiter came with the check and took the plates away.

"You ready?" Derek asked Meredith.

"Sure." Meredith stood up and walked out behind Derek.

As they walked to the car, Derek took hold of Meredith's hand.

"Thank you for dinner Derek." Meredith said as she leaned into him.

"You're welcome. Hopefully we can do this again." Derek opened the car door for her then got into the car.

As Derek drove he held Meredith's hand until he began running his hand up and down her thigh.

He parked along the street and got out and opened the door for Meredith. The silently walked into the old Manhattan building. They waited for the elevator to come and then they got on. Meredith hit her floor number.

Right after Meredith hit her floor number, Derek stood in front of her. He put his hands around her waist and inched closer and smelled her hair. He put a strand of hair behind her ears then gently kissed her lips. He pulled away and broke the kiss.

"Wow." Meredith managed to say. The elevator bell rang and they got off at Meredith's floor.

Derek kept his hand on the small of her back as he walked to her door. Meredith stopped and turned around. "So, this is my stop."

Derek stepped a little closer, "Yea, this is your stop."

"Would you like to come in to visit?" Meredith said as she stepped closer. "Or for Desert?"

"Desert would be nice." Derek said as he pecked her on the lips.

Meredith unlocked her door and walked into her completely dark apartment. She fiddled around, but found the light switch by the door. Derek walked in behind her and pinned her against the wall. He put his hands in her hair grazed his lips against his.

"So, where is your roommate?" Derek asked.

"She is out for the night with Christina. She won't be back tonight." Meredith said as she walked over and leaned against the counter.

"Oh, so we are alone?" Derek asked as he walked up to Meredith.

"We are alone Dr. Shepherd." Meredith said as she sat up on the counter and pulled Derek closer.

"Meredith, I know I have said this all night, but I'm amazed by you. I saw you today in the bakery and I couldn't take my eyes off of you." Derek said as he ran his hands up and down Meredith's thighs.

As Derek ran his hand along the inside of Meredith's thigh a small moan escaped and Derek smiled. 

Meredith pulled him in for as kiss and opened her legs as she pulled him in between them. "Derek, I couldn't take my eyes off of you either."

Derek picked her up and she wrapped her legs tightly around his waist and began kissing his neck as he led her to the bedroom. He first walked into Izzie's room.

"Next door across the hall is my room." Meredith said as she began biting his ear.

Derek dug his hands into her ass. Once in her bedroom her turned on the lights then dimmed them a little. He slammed Meredith up against the wall. "Meredith you're so sexy."

"Mmmhmm." She said as she began to unbutton his shirt, with her legs still wrapped around his waist. She unbuttoned the first three buttons then began kissing his chest.

Once Derek was sure that Meredith was supported against the wall he began roaming his hand up her dress. His placed his thumb over her panties. "Damn Meredith, you're so wet." He momentarily rubbed her through her panties then slid her so that she could put her feet on the ground. He reached around and unzipped her dress and let it fall to the wooden floor. "Meredith…" He backed them onto the bed so that Meredith was straddling him. She unbuttoned the rest of his shirt then pushed it off of him and let her hands roam his chest. She could feel his erection through his pants and began thrusting back and forth as she kissed all over him. She looked down and began tugging on Derek's belt as he undid the clasp on her strapless lacy bra. He tossed the bra behind her and began massaging her small breast. She moaned into his mouth, "Derek that feels amazing."

He helped her undo his belt and through it to wear the dress and bra were placed. Meredith looked down to see Derek's erection through his pants. "I think someone wants to come meet me." She said as she undid his pants. They stood up briefly so that Derek could let the pants fall to the floor then he stepped out of them. He began to lie back, but Meredith made him sit at the end of the bed. Meredith smacked his hand away from her breast as she got down on her knees. She grabbed on to his penis and began massaging it up and down. Derek became even more turned on as she was in front of him topless and it lace panties. She teased the tip as she flicked it with her tongue and began licking up and down the shaft.

"Oh Meredith." He moaned as she grazed him with her teeth. She circled the penis with the tip of her manicured finger then enveloped it in her mouth. She took it in and out. In and Out. "Meredith oh God." He felt his body begin to shake and he warned her. "I'm coming Meredith." He said as the shake became more intense. Instead of stopping she let him come in her mouth, and then she swallowed. She rose back up onto the bed and straddled him again and began biting his ear. Instead of letting her continue he flipped over and put her back on the bed. He lay beside her and danced kisses from her lips down to her belly button. He circled his fingers around her belly then they slowly slipped under her panties. "Meredith you're so wet and warm."

"Its cause I want you Derek." She pleaded as she put her hands on both sides of his face and pulled her head up to kiss him. Derek slid a finger up her and teased her clit. "Oh Derek please." He slid a second finger as his thumb massaged her. "Derek, just please." He moved the fingers in and out slowly until she came.

They gave their bodies a moment to calm down then Meredith went and sat against the headboard of her bed. She opened her legs and put her finger over her area so that Derek could see her. He climbed over to her and placed his lips on her breasts. He began kissing down her stomach until he came to her moist panties that were still on. Derek put his hands inside the waistline and began to pull, but Meredith stopped him.

"I'm sorry Meredith. Am I movi…?" He was interrupted.

"Shut up." She leaned over and grabbed the scissors from the nightstand; she cut a tiny line at the beginning of the panties under her belly button. "Tear them off Derek."

Derek just looked at her in shock. 

"Tear them off then fuck me Derek." She looked at him and he was looking at her in pure lust. "Oh what? Are you afraid to fuck the sweet girl that ices birthday cakes and brownies all day? Am I to much of a good girl in your mind? Well Derek, you're turning me on and I'm horny as hell. So either watch me do it to myself of fuck me right now! Go ahead just tear off the panties, they're already ruined." She opened her area for him to see. "Grab a condom from my nightstand and do things to me."

Derek reached to her night stand and saw an unopened box. He quickly grabbed one and placed it over his erect penis.

Derek went over to her on the bed and pulled her by her legs toward him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he kissed her, and then pushed her back on the pillow. He ripped the panties off then kissed her in between her breasts. "Meredith, tell me if you want me to stop or if I 'm hurting you.

"Derek, please just get in me." She moaned as she dug her fingers into his skin. She kissed down to her belly button then back up to her lips. Without warning he thrusted himself into her as rough as he could. "Oh Derek…Oh my gosh." He rest on top of her before be began thrusting in and out.

"Meredith, you're so fucking tight Baby." He said as he pumped in and out. He felt her tighten more and more. "Baby you're hot."

Her petite porcelain body trembled beneath him and he became gentler as her orgasm came. "Oh Derek." She gasped and then screamed his name. "Derek!"

He came shortly after, filling her with her with his essence. He collapsed her as they both panted. They were under the sheets as she rand her hands through his hair and he rests his head over her breasts. He lifted his head up and began kissing her. "You're the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my life Meredith."

She was still out of breath. "Well, you are the most amazing man and I've only known you for a day." She suddenly put her hand to her head. "I don't feel guilty for making love on the first night. I normally would, but I don't feel bad."

"Meredith, I don't feel bad. I've actually never been more proud to do something like this in my life." He kissed her again as she continued to massage his scalp.

They made out again for at least twenty minutes before going for round two. They fell asleep. Derek wrapped his arms around her and they slept peacefully.

READ AND REVIEW PLEASE!!!!!!


	3. Morning After

Beep Beep Beep Beep

Meredith reached over and hit the alarm.

4:00 AM

Derek still had his arms wrapped around Meredith. She smiled when she remembered the night they had before.

"Why are you getting up so early?" Derek moaned as he lifted his head and kissed her behind her neck.

"I have to work." Meredith said as she turned around in his arms. "I have to open since Miranda is in Rhode Island for her nieces wedding. Aren't you used to early hours."

"Yes, I just didn't realize you would be so familiar with them." He said huskily as he still struggled to wake up. "I better get going so that you can go to work."

Meredith sat up from her bed. "You should go in with me."

Derek smiled. "Why is that?"

"Well, we could have breakfast." Meredith said as she wrapped the sheet around her. "I could put on a pot of coffee or we could have juice. Somehow I may be able to find us something to eat for breakfast." Meredith said as Derek pulled her back on the bed. "So are you in?"

"Sure." Derek said as she lay back flat onto the bed. He kissed her lips.

After a half hour, Meredith and Derek were both ready to go. Derek drove them there, since he had his car at Meredith's house.

They arrived at the bakery, Meredith turned the lights on and led Derek to the back of the store. "I think I know what we can have for breakfast. She took two bottles of orange juice from a huge beverage cooler and sat them at the counter where they usually sat around and iced things.

While Meredith went over to a big freezer, Derek asked, "So do don't you have to make all of the items this morning?"

Meredith came out with a tall shelved rolling cart. "Well, we make all of the dough usually before we close. Now I just have to put them in the oven."

She walked over and pre-heated the oven. "Now, I do need to make some butter-cream icing for a wedding cake .The signal on the oven went off and Meredith three of the trays in the first oven and the other three in the second.

She walked over to Derek and leaned up against the counter. "How do nice warm cinnamon rolls sound?"

Derek leaned forward and kissed her. "Those sound delicious. So does your Miranda care that you use company supplies for personal use?"

"Miranda? No, she always orders extra and insists because we help her so much that we indulge in them." Meredith went behind Derek and grabbed some cream cheese icing from the fridge and napkins. She sat them on the counter then went to grab some plates. "Besides we always have lunch and dinner here, so we all do grocery shopping and leave stuff in the regular fridge. "

"Oh, well that is nice." Derek said as watched her bend over and removed the last of the trays from the oven. It was all he could do to, not take her right here.

"Yea." She took some the cinnamon rolls over to the counter.

"There are like a hundred cinnamon rolls Meredith. That is going to take you forever." Derek laughed. "You have fun with that."

"Not even five minutes." Meredith said.

"Yea right." Derek said cockily as he stared into her eyes.

"Yea smart ass?" Meredith joked. She grabbed a spreader and loaded it with icing. She then began quickly icing them.

When she was done, Derek looked at her in shock. "Wow that took you less then five minutes."

"Told you. I've done it so many times, that I have it down to an art." Meredith said as she went and moved the trays over to the cooling belt.

She went back to the counter and put a little bit of extra frosting on her finger and into her mouth, "Want a lick before I clean it up?" Meredith said handing out the spreader and sucking on the finger in her mouth.

"Sure." Derek took a small lick from spreader, and then got a smile on his face. He took a little bit on his finger then put some on Meredith's neck, under her cheek..."

"Hey what was that for?" Meredith said half laughing.

"You asked if I wanted a lick." He said all smiley. He took more onto his finger and then put some on Meredith's chest and lips.

Meredith laughed. "Derek, I'm going to be all sticky."

As he began to lick the icing off of her chest, "I'll get it off."

"I'm sure you will." Meredith said trying to keep her cool. "Derek."

"Shhh, I'm trying to enjoy the icing." He kissed his way to the spot in the left side of her neck and began licking and kissing the icing off, causing Meredith to moan in pleasure. "Derek."

"This icing is delicious." Derek said. "Meredith, you taste sweet."

"O…Derek." Meredith moaned while running her hands up and down his arms. Suddenly they heard the doorbell ring and Meredith put her hands up. "That's the milk guy. Let me go sign for it."

A moment later, the milk guy came in and then left, once he made his delivery. Meredith and Derek talked for an hour or two, until the customers began to come in.

"I better get going." Derek said as Meredith came to the back of the store after helping an elderly couple.

"Oh, okay." Meredith said, kind of bummed.

Derek walked up to her and put his hands on her waist. "I had a great time with you."

"I had a great time with you too." Meredith said as Derek kissed her softly.

"I'll call you." Derek said as he began kissing her neck. He hadn't even felt this way about a woman.

"Okay." Meredith moaned.

Derek let go and smiled as she stood there. They walked to the front of the store and he kissed her good bye one last time. "Bye Meredith."

"Bye Derek." Meredith said. Derek had completely swept her off of her feet.

Later that morning:::

Meredith had been working a few hours, when Izzie and Christina walked in the door with Christina's youngest, Sadie.

"Hey." Christina said as she sat Sadie into the high chair that Miranda kept in the back for friends and family.

"Hey." Izzie said as she put an apron over her head. "How was the date with McDreamy?"

"It was good." Meredith said as she put Hershey kisses on peanut butter cookies.

"You had sex with him." Christina said as she took a Hershey kiss.

"What makes you say that?" Meredith asked.

"Oh you had sex with him twice." Christina said. "Champ."

Meredith just laughed.

"So how was he?" Izzie asked and Meredith glared. "Oh come on, I'm not getting any."

"You will from that guy you met at the bar last night?" Christina said. "She was locking lips with this piece of man candy all night."

"Oh what's his name?" Meredith asked...

"Denny and he is amazing." Izzie said. "If he calls then I will go on a date with him, if he doesn't I'm not going to sweat it."

"That's Great Iz." Meredith said as she continued to unwrap the Hershey Kisses.

'So, about McDreamy?" Christina asked, going back to the original subject.

"McDreamy?"

"Izzie and I named him last night at the bar." Christina said with a smile on her face. "How was it?"

"Okay, honestly." Meredith stopped working for a minute. "It was amazing."

Izzie and Christina got excited as Sadie played with her stuffed dog in the high chair.

"He took me to dinner, oh and he knows Burke." Meredith said. "He is a brain surgeon."

"Wow." Christina looked at Izzie. "So he's rich."

"Whatever." Meredith said. "It was a great date, probably the best first date I have ever had. If it makes you girls feel better he is an excellent kisser."

"How was the sex?" Izzie asked.

"What?" Meredith said as Izzie begged her. "Fine, he was the best sex I think I have ever had. Honestly the man is a sex God."

"How big is his penis?" Christina asked as she ate a cookie.

"I'm not telling you that." Meredith said.

"Oh you can and you will." Izzie said. "Its better than Christina and I finding out by 'accidentally' walking in on him in the restroom."

"Okay fine, it's huge. I mean, not the biggest one I have ever seen. But it was big in a totally perfect way and not a creepy boulder way."

"How was he this morning?" Izzie asked.

"He was so sweet and kind. He just…I hope he doesn't turn out to be a complete dud. Because I really want to see him again. He said he'd call." Meredith said. "I hope he does."

"Aww Meredith, you like him." Izzie said.

"Excuse me while I throw up in my mouth." Christina joked and pretended to gag.

The girls spent the afternoon laughing and talking about past dates and comparing.

PLEASE REVIEW


	4. Falling

Meredith sat around her apartment Monday morning, She was watching Sadie, Christina's youngest. Izzie was at work and Meredith had the day off. Derek hadn't called for the rest of Sunday, which made Meredith sad. But she refused to be the girl that sat at the phone, although she secretly wanted too.

"Chheeeerrrrroo." Sadie screamed. For ten months, Sadie spoke a lot.

"Yes Sadie, I have cheerios." Meredith went into the kitchen with Sadie on her hip. "Now where are they?" Meredith grabbed the box and put some into a little bowl. She then put Sadie into a high chair. "Here you go baby."

The phone rang and Meredith dashed for the phone, but it ended up being a telemarketer. "Damn it."

Meredith walked back to Sadie and picked her up as the buzzer went off. Meredith went to the intercom system, "Hello?"

"Hey uh, this is Cal from Murray's Floral Arrangements. I have a delivery for a Ms. Meredith Grey." Meredith looked at Sadie, "that's odd." She hit the intercom again. "Alright, I'll buzz you in."

Meredith hit the buzzer, then carried Sadie on her hip as she wiped off the high chair. "You're so messy Sadie Lady."

Meredith heard a knock at the door and she went to answer it. There was an old man standing there holding a big bouquet of flowers.

"Are you Meredith Grey?" The old man asked as he held out a bouquet of flowers. "Sign this please.

Meredith couldn't help but smile at the bouquet of pink roses. "Thanks." She signed the clipboard. "Thanks you so much."

Meredith got ready to close the door as she held Sadie, but then he stopped her. "Oh, that's not all."

"What?" Meredith asked confused.

The old man shouted, "Earl, Stuart! Bring them in." As he said that two more old men wheeled a cart full of pink rose bouquets.

"They're so pretty." Meredith said into Sadie's ear as the baby kicked her legs in excitement. "Where did these come from?"

The men handed her a card and left with their cart, once they unloaded the roses everywhere.

Meredith opened the card with her free hand.

Dear Meredith,

I really enjoyed the date we had together. I couldn't stop thinking about you and I'm sorry I didn't call you right away. I wasn't sure what to say or how you felt. But, I really want to see you again. I have sent you 14 rose bouquets for each hour we spent together. I will call you soon.

Love,

Derek

P.S I know that this was cheesy, but did it work?

Meredith smiled and rested her head on Sadie's head. "He's a good guy."

Meredith walked around, for some reason she counted the roses and noticed there were only 13 bouquets. She sighed then heard a knock at the door.

She looked through the peep whole and smiled. She unlocked the door and answered it. Derek Shepherd stood there in nice pants and a black polo.

"I thought maybe you were missing these." He said as he handed her the last bouquet.

Sadie giggled at the cute man and Meredith smiled. "You are a character."

Derek smiled. "So, I was going to call. But I wanted to see you."

"I'm glad you didn't." Meredith said.

He looked at her up and down. Her hair was in a ponytail and messy as she wore jeans and and grey tshirt that came up, showing some of her stomach. He could tell that she had been running around the apartment and worn out. Still he couldn't help thinking she looked sexier than the first two times he saw her. Maybe it was the smile, maybe it was the glow, or the baby on the hip. But Derek knew in that moment Meredith Ellen Grey, was going to mean a lot to him.

"So, did I catch you at a bad time?" He said as he stepped closer.

"No, I just have to put her down for her morning nap." Meredith smiled in amazemment then snapped back to reality. "I'll be right back."

Meredith went to Izzies room and put Sadie in her playpen with a bottle of milk. She kissed the baby, then left the room and closed the door. She walked back to find Derek leaning agains the counter. "So you're a babysitter too?"

"Oh thats Christina and Preston's youngest. I watch her sometimes, when I'm not working." Meredith said as she washed her hands. "Actually, the kids stay the night here a lot."

"Why is that?" Derek asked.

"I enjoy them. Christina and Burke are so busy, that they don't want them to have a nanny and spend so much time with a sitter. So Izzie and I like to watch them a lote. We have a lot of fun with them."

"That's very cute." Derek said as he stepped closer.

Meredith laughed, "You're cute."

Derek walked forward, "You know I was going to ask you to lunch, but since you have her down for a nap. I won't ask you to wake her."

"Oh." Meredith said as she took a step backwards. "Well we can eat here."

"We can."

"Yes we can." Meredith said taking one more step back.

"You look great Meredith." Derek said as he kept walking towards her.

"I'm a mess." Meredith laughed and felt her face as she began to blush.

"So, do you have a free moment?"Derek asked.

"For what?" Meredith asked.

Derek walked closer. "For this." He gently pushed her up against the wall and kissed her. He put one hand above her head and the other pushed her hair out of her face. He thrusted his tongue into her mouth and instantly she kissed back. "Mmm Meredith."

"Yes?" She asked in between kisses.

"Can we date?" He said as he pulled away from kissing her for a moment.

"What do you mean, we went on a date. I would love to go on another and another." She said as she kissed his neck.

"Will you be my girlfriend Meredith?" Derek asked as her rubbed her cheek with his thumb. "Can we date?"

Meredith smiled and bit her lip lightly, "Yea, we can."

"Good, because I don't think I could try to impress you for another moment." He kissed her forehead. "I just want to be able to kiss you whenever I want."

Meredith got a tear in her eyes. "Kiss me Derek."

Derek, swept her off of her feet and took her to the couch where he just lay on top of her and kissed her all over. He wanted to make sure he didn't miss a single part of her lips and honestly, he didn't want to let go. Neither did she.

_I am falling hard, and there is nothing I can do about it_

OKAY PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!LOVE YA

3LIA


	5. A dirty bath some mature

Warning...some mature content!!!

"Meredith?" Derek asked as he began to nip at the spot on her neck, just below her ear.

"What?"

"How long does Sadie nap for?" Derek asked.

Meredith pulled away, "About two and a half hours. Why?"

"No reason." He said as he went back to kissing the same spot and began unbuttoning her jeans.

He began to slid his hands under her panties, when she smacked it away. "What was that for?"

Meredith smiled and began to play with his collar. "I want to be bright and shiny."

"Bright and Shiny? Well alright, but what does that mean and why did my hand get smacked away." Derek asked.

"I want to make sure you and I are happy. So, I want to take it slow." Meredith said.

"Okay, we'll take it slow." Derek said as he began to lift her shirt. "Okay, we don't have to go to dinner tonight.

"No Derek." Meredith laughed and pushed his hand off of her. "No sex, not right now."

Derek sighed. "Alright, but what about if we take a bath. No sex…just a bath."

Meredith smiled. "Lets take a bath."

Derek stood up the helped Meredith up. "Come on Babe."

Meredith stopped him. "Okay, I'll go get the bath water and bubbles ready. You get the lighter from the cabinet above the microwave." She pulled him in for a kiss. "Oh and lock the door."

Derek did everything Meredith told him and went into the restroom. The bath was full of bubbles and Meredith was undressing. He came up from behind her and put his hands on her waist. "You sure you want to avoid sex?"

"Yes." Meredith moaned as Derek kissed the back of her neck. "The bubbles are ready."

Derek undressed then slid into the tub. Meredith slid in after him and positioned herself in between his legs. Derek began showering Meredith along her shoulders, neck and cheek.

As Derek kissed the spot on Meredith's neck, that he had previously discovered drove her wild, he started to massage her breast.

Meredith moved around to break his grasp. "What did I say?"

Derek continued to kiss her neck and wrapped his arms around her and rubbed the bubbles all over her small body.. "Seriously."

"Seriously."

"Seriously." He said as he moved to her ear.

"Seriously, we're taking it slow." Meredith said, trying to stay composed.

He moved his head to the other side of her head. "Slow? I can take it incredibly slow." He roamed his fingers down to her inner thigh and grazed her clitoris.

Meredith laughed out of pleasure and pushed his hand away. "We're taking it slower than that."

He kissed the side of her head and laughed, "Alright."

"We're starting fresh." Meredith pointed out as Derek kissed her shoulder.

"And starting fresh means no sex because?" Derek pondered, while nibbling at her ear.

"Because we started with sex on the first date and I'm not that type of girl. I used to be dark and twisty and I don't want to be. It doesn't go so well." Meredith replied as Derek rested sensual kisses on her body. "Plus the waiting is fun and we need fun. From now on I want to be bright and shiny."

"You want to be bright and shy huh?" Derek said as he roamed his hands to her breasts again.

Meredith laughed. "Derek stop,"

The relaxed in the tub for a while, then decided to get out.

Meredith gave Derek a towel and she slid her robe on.

Derek walked up to Meredith and pinned her against the wall. "So, do I get a dinner date tonight?"

"Sure." Meredith put one hand on his chest.

"Do you want to pick where I take you?" Derek asked as he grazed her lips with his thumb.

"Lets go see a movie and get ice cream." Meredith said with a smile.

"What movie, its ladies choice?" Derek said as he began to dry himself off.

"The number 23." Meredith said as she bit her lip. Se watched him dry off with a towel, wearing nothing else.

"Meredith, that's a scary movie. You're going to get scared." Derek said as he reached for his boxer briefs.

"I know." Meredith smiled then walked behind him to feel his shoulders. "Then you can take me to ice cream and then drop me off here."

"You have a very cute butt." Meredith said as she walked over and grasped Derek's ass in her hands. "I like it."

"That is not fair Meredith." Derek said as he turned around. "You can touch my butt and anytime I try to touch you, I get my hand smacked.

"Fine Derek, I am sorry. You get to pick one are of my body and touch it for forty-five seconds. You get to do whatever you want to it." Meredith said as she played with the neck of her robe.

Derek circled her, "Anything?"

"Anything, but you can't use your penis." Meredith said.

Derek laughed by how blunt she was. "Alright, I have made my choice. Lean against the wall."

Meredith leaned against the wall and Derek set his timer on his watch.

"Are you serious? A timer?" Meredith said laughing.

"I want my full amount of time." Derek got down on his knees and hit the start button on his watch.

He gently grazed his finger along her clit and massaged her region. Meredith began to blush immediately. He looked at her as she put her head in lust. He stuck his index finger into his her area and thrusted in and out. She began moaning his name, "Derek…please." He smiled at the thought of her begging, then removed the finger as he kissed between her thighs and kissed her mound before he inserted his tongue into her. He grazed her clit with his teeth as she grasped his hair and began pushing his head closer into her area. "Derek." She moaned in ecstasy. His tongue swirled around her furiously when the timer went off. Casually Derek pulled out quickly before Meredith could reach her full orgasm. "Times up." Derek patted her on the shoulder and grabbed his clothes.

He took one last look at Meredith who was standing there not sure of what to do. He winked at her and left the restroom. She was so turned on and yanked out of an orgasm before it even reached in peak. She wasn't sure of what to do, she was dripping and not just from water. She laughed, "Oh he is good. He thinks he is funny. But I'll get him back."

This is going to be hard.

PLEASE READ AND REVIEW


	6. Good Planning

Meredith finally regained composure in the bathroom. She dried off and put her clothes back on. As she made her way towards the front of the apartment she heard noise from Izzie's room. She creaked the door open to find Sadie standing in the playpen making noise for someone to come get her.

Meredith walked over to her and picked her up. "Hey Sadie Lady, did you have a good nap? It was a short one." Meredith kissed Sadies head and grabbed the empty bottle from the playpen. She walked into the kitchen, where Derek had helped himself to a glass of water. "Look who's awake."

"Aww look who it is." Derek smiled and patted Sadie's head. "She's a cutie."

"She is and she is such a good girl." Meredith brushed hair out of Sadie's face as she talked in a sweet voice.

Derek watched as she went to the fridge and retrieved a children's sippy cup full of juice. It was as if he had shut off the world outside and just watched Meredith interact with Sadie. The way she carried her on her hip, was enough to make him think.

What if that were our baby on her hip.

He watched as she broke a small Gerber's Graduate Grain Bar in half and gave it to Sadie to carry in her small hands.

He snapped back to reality when Sadie began to cry.

Derek it is too early to be thinking about these things...get your mind out of the gutter./I

"Come on Sadie Lady you like these." Meredith said pleading with the baby. Finally Sadie took a bit then smashed the rest of the slobbery bar into meredith's shirt and began to spit the contents in her mouth out, which Meredith caught in her hands. "Okay, note to self don't buy the new bars. Sadie hates them." She turned on the water and sat Sadie on the floor while she washed her hands. She picked Sadie up and wiped her face. "Oh Sadie my shirt."

Derek just watched in amazement. Everything about the way Meredith was with Sadie made him attracted to her. The smashed baby food on her shirt made her even sexier. He walked over to her and planted a soft and quick kiss on her lips and just looked at her.

IGod, she's beautiful.

"What was that for?" Meredith asked with a smile.  
"I couldn't help myself." He walked back to the counter and took a sip of his water and watched as Meredith got Sadie a new snack.

"I'm a mess." Meredith said very calmly as she held a rag to wipe her shirt with in her other babyfree hand.

"You're perfect." He whispered so low, that she couldn't hear. He stood there and watched as he continued to tell his mind to slow down on the life planning. Because before he met Meredith three days ago, he had never once pictured the future with a woman. Not even his ex-wife.

PLEASE REVIEW


	7. PizzaMATURE

WARNING

FOR MATURE READERS ONLY

Meredith had just put the finishing touches on a birthday cake that was to be picked up that afternoon, when Izzie came to the back of the store. "Hey."

"Hey, where did you go off to?" Meredith asked. 

"Miranda sent me to deliver a cookie order to the Catholic school down the street." Izzie said as she washed her hands and began to ice sugar cookies.

"Hey, girls I just added a mocha cookie to our menu and they should be out of the oven in ten minutes." Miranda said as she waked in with the new stack of brochures.

"Yum." Meredith said as she boxed up the cake.

"So, how is the sex with McDreamy?" Izzie said as she airbrushed the color on the cookies.

"Listen, I don't want to hear about your sex lives." Miranda cut in. "All you girls think about is sex, you nasty."

Meredith laughed. "So that phone call I got after my date to the water park from some one saying, 'did you guys do it in the water?' was what? A wrong number?"

"Okay, so I do want to know. How is the no-sex, bright and shiny combo?" Miranda asked as she pulled a stool up to the counter.

"There hasn't been any. Not sense the first date." Meredith said.

"Meredith!" Izzie said stunned.

"What?"

"You guys have been dating for almost three months. You spend so much time together and the eye sex is insane. I mean you guys either sleep at our place or his almost every night and no sex?"

"Nope." Meredith said with a smile.

"You don't have sex." Izzie rolled her eyes. 

"What do you guys do?" Miranda asked.

"We talk, make out, eat, and watch movies…make out. We enjoy each others company." Meredith smiled. "I'm happy.'

"Aww, you guys are too perfect for each other." Miranda said. "Izzie how are things with that Denny guy?"

"Wonderful, I mean he is so laid back and manly. I love it." Izzie smiled.

"Izzie and Denny sitting in a tree…" Meredith sang.

"Oh shut up." Izzie said back.

"Well, its off of work time for me." Meredith said as she stood up. "Miranda, the Klosterman's said that they will be on there way for this cake by three-thirty."

"Alright, have a good day Meredith." Miranda said as she took a cake out of the ove.

"Have sex Meredith." Izzie encouraged.

"Bye Izzie." 

"Bye."

GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAG

Meredith was walking down the streets of New York when she received a call from Derek. Her ring tone for Derek was "You and Me." By Lighthouse. She got a special ring tone him when she realized that "She's Everything," by Brad Paisley played when she called him.

"Hello?" Meredith answered with a smile on her face.

"Hey there." Derek said back. "How is the most beautiful woman in the world today?"

Meredith laughed. "I don't know, when I see Heidi Klum I will ask her." Meredith laughed. "How are you?"

"I'm good. I just finished up my last surgery. I've been at the hospital since ten last night and I was just wondering if you wanted to get some sleep with me?" Derek said.

"Don't you think you'll get more sleep if you have a bed to yourself?" Meredith repled. She wanted to see Derek, so she had hoped that he would insist on sleeping together. 

"But Meredith, you have been at work since four and I haven't seen you since yesterday afternoon." Derek could tell she was smiling on the other end. "Please."

"Derek…" Meredith groaned.

"I'm doing my sad puppy face" Derek smiled. "You know you can't resist it."

"Okay, come on over." Meredith turned the corner to walk some more of the trip home. "I'll see you in a little while."

"Okay, have the covers pulled down, because I am ready to crash." Derek said.

"Oh I will." Meredith yawned as she walked up the stoop of her building and got into the elevator. "Bye Babe."

"Bye."

Meredith unlocked her door and sat her stuff on the table in the entrance. She took a sigh of relief to be home and slid off her brown pumps. She walked in and turned on more lights and sprayed some air freshener that she had bought had Bath & Body Works just last week.

She walked into her bedroom and slid off the Tiffany's blue dress she had been wearing since early this morning. Miranda didn't really care what they wore to work as long as it was spring colors or another color that matched with the season. It also had to be appropriate and nothing 'whorish'.

Meredith went into her room and stripped down, to climb into a Yankee's sweatshirt and blue sweatpants. She put her hair up and waited for Derek as she drank some water.

A little while later she heard a knock at the door and when she opened it Derek was there.

He came in and instantly wrapped his arms around her. They leaned against the counter and held each other for a few minutes before walking into Meredith's bedroom.

"I am so tired." Derek said as he rubbed his hand along his five o'clock shadow.

"Me too." Meredith got onto the bed. Both of them fell asleep as soon as there head hit the pillow.

About two hours later Derek woke up and looked at Meredith. She was so peaceful when she slept. He kissed her forehead gently and got up as she stirred for just a moment. He walked out into the kitchen and grabbed a water, then went to the couch to watch CNN.

Another hour later he looked at the clock and decided to wake Meredith up. He walked to the back of the apartment and went onto the bed. "Meredith."

She stirred but didn't move. He kissed the side of her lips , "Meredith, wake up Baby."

"No." She growled as she wrapped her one arm around her him and put the other on his shoulder.

He began kissing her neck. "Come on Meredith."

"Derek, no…I want to sleep." Meredith said as she continued to keep her eyes closed.

He lowered her covers and climbed under them with her. "But we could get dinner and hang out."

"But I'm sleeping." Meredith groaned.

Derek leaned and turned the light on. "Get up Meredith. I want someone to come play with me."

Meredith laughed. "Fine, I'm getting up."

"Good."

"Yea, yea, yea."

He kissed her neck. "Get up, we'll order in tonight and watch a movie on Pay Per View."

"Okay." Meredith stood up and went into the restroom. "I'm going to shower. Will you order and I should be ready and have my hair dry by the time it gets here."

"Sure."

She walked back out leaned down and kissed him quickly. "Now go."

Derek laughed and Meredith smiled as her idea popped into her head.

Meredith decided to use this time to drive Derek crazy. She had given him blue-balls in the theatre after he pinned her against the movie seat and put ice down her shirt. She had groped him in the hospital cafeteria when she went to visit him on his lunch hour. This was a game between them and tonight she was going to drive him wild.

She took her shower and made sure to clean herself with sweet floral scents, instead of perfumed scents. She got out from the shower, blow dryed her hair and ran a lavender scented mouse through her hair to make it curly. She sprayed it, and then applied a natural layer of make up. She decided to use her Dior lip gloss, which she only used for special occasions. She went into her closet and locked the door as she looked through her drawers on lingerie. She had several items that still had the tags on them and she bought them over the years, but bought even more when she started dating Derek. She rummaged through them and settled on the perfect one. She picked out a lacey thong to go under it.

She slid on a pair of black of black stilettos. She rubbed lotion on her legs and body, that had a hint of sparkle to it. As she heard Derek getting things ready in the kitchen, she teased her hair up a bit more and retouched her makeup. She heard the doorbell ring. "And so it goes."

"Meredith, the pizza's here! Can you answer it, while I grab the wallet from my pocket." Derek shouted.

"Sure" Meredith smiled and walked towards the kitchen. Derek didn't notice because he was faced with his back towards her. She walked and opened the front door. "Hey."

The pimply faced teenage boy went white in the face with a boyish grin. "Hey there."

"Alright, how much is..." Derek stopped as he saw his girlfriends back as she talked to the teen pizza boy. His draw dropped and instantly his pants felt smaller as she saw her as coming out from the tiny nightgown.

"It will be umm...the pizza is um.." The pizzs boy struggled to get the words out. "Fifteen dollars."

"Thanks," Meredith smiled. She turned to Derek and said in a seductive tone. "Aren't you going to pay him."

Derek jumped back to reality. "Yea." He walked over and pulled Meredith into his waist and stood in front of her. He wanted to keep her as covered as he could.

As he payed the pizza boy and took the pizza. Meredith put her hands around his waist and began massaging himn through his jeans. She then looked around Derek's shoulder, "We would love to stay and chat, but I really want to see my boyfriends cock and then maybe I'll get fucked."

Dereks eyes almost bulged out of his head. He put his hand around Meredith's waist and moved her to behind the door.

"Keep the change." Derek said to the pizza boy as he hurried and shut the door. He turned to Meredith. "What the hell do you think you are doing?"

"You told me to get the pizza." Meredith said innocently, as she pulled him closer and slipped a hand down his pants. "I did my job."

Derek pulled her hand out of his pants, trying his best to fight off his erection. "Meredith I can't believe you. I just..."

"You don't like it?"

"No, I love it." Derek said, "But it drives me crazy when men look at you."

"But it was a teenage boy."

"I don't care if it is a ninety five year old man. I still want you to myself." Derek said.

"I'm all yours." Meredith pulled Derek, by his tshirt and into a kiss.

"Meredith.."

"Shut up." She sat back on the kitchen table and pulled Derek closer. She stopped kissing him him just for a second. "You're mad."

"I'm not mad." Derek said as Meredith kissed his neck. "I just love you and I don't want anything to happen to you."

Meredith stopped kissing him. "You what?"

Derek smiled at what he had said. "I love you Meredith."

Meredith smiled. "I love you." She pulled his shirt over his head and through it on the floor. Luckily there was nothing on the kitchen table except for a few magazines and napkins, because Derek took everything out with one hand. He kissed her neck then moved down to her breasts as she pushed his jeans down.

Derek stepped out of them then pushed them to the other side of the kitchen. Meredith stuck her hand down his boxer briefs and rubbed up and down his shaft then gently squeezing his balls. "Meredith..Oh God...Meredith."

She smiled as she gently massaged, then went faster and faster. "Derek, you've been very patient." She began kissing his neck then gasped as she felt his fingers dip inside of her. She smiled once she caught a grip.

"Meredith, I want you." Derek moaned. "Please just let me."

"I want you too." She moaned as he moved his finger around and his thumb grazed her clit. "Derek, I need you."

She arched her back as he used his other hand to gently lower each strap her of her night gown. She let go of him to pull the straps completely off and lower the nightgown under her breasts as derek took one into his mouth. He flicked them with his tongue. "Meredith.."

"Take me for a ride Derek." She moaned has she dug her hands into his back. "Please get inside of me."

She lifted her ass off off the table and slid her panties down. He teased by leaning over her with his penis grazing her clit. He finally kissed her passionately and entered her on full force.

She gasped and dug her fingers in deeper. "Oh Derek."

She arched her back as he playfully removed himself then entered her again. "Derek!!"

She grabbed on the sides of the table as he thrusted in and out. She lowered on hand and slid her finger over the begining of his erect penis and grazed it with the edge of her nail, sending a jolt through his body. It was almost like his was gasping for air. He was so focused on pleasing her that his orgasm came at the same time.

"Oh s.shit Derek!" She screamed at he filled her.

He moaned out. "Oh my Meredith."

He collapsed over her. They held eachother and caught there breaths before he removed himself from her.

"Derek.."

"Yes baby?"

"We might want to clean this table, before Izzie comes home." She said as she ran her fingers through his hair.

"Yea."

A few moments later, they sat on the floor of her apartment naked. Meredith had fully slid the nightgown off before they decided to eat their now cold pizza.

"Did you mean it?" Meredith asked.

Confused Derek asked back, "Mean what?"

"When you said you loved me." Meredith stated.

"Yea. I love you Meredith." He said as he stroked her face, "I love you a lot and I don't want to scare you, but I think about the future with you."

A tear came to Meredith's eyes, "I love you."

_  
I want you to have and to hold_

PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	8. Happy Birthday?

Derek sat looking at Meredith's laptop. He was cleaning it from all of the excess files and installing an Anti-Virus program. He couldn't believe how slow it was running when he asked to use it. She had told him that it had a virus, and then she went to the back of her closet and pulled it from a high fashion laptop bag.

Meredith walked into the kitchen and sat her purse down on the table. "Is it in bad shape?"

"Baby, I'm just cleaning it up. But it should be fine soon." Derek said as her pulled her onto his lap.

"Thank you." As Meredith planted a kiss on his cheek.

"You're welcome." Derek said as he tightened his grip around her waist. "So how is my birthday girl?"

Today was Meredith's birthday. "Good. I'm very excited to be spending it with my favorite guy."

"Oh well, I hope I'm that guy." Derek said as he kissed her shoulder. He hit the 'enter' key on Meredith's laptop. "There it should be fixed soon."

"Yay!" Meredith said ash she clapped her hands together lightly.

"So, you've already had breakfast and bed. You got one of your presents and we are going out to do whatever you want today. Then you are going to the club with your friends." Derek said.

"Derek?" Meredith asked.

"Yes baby?" Derek replied.

"Does my age ever bother you? I mean you're almost ten years older then me." Meredith said as she fixed his collar.

"Meredith, it never bothers me. I mean it is not that much of a difference and besides, I love you. No number is going to mess that up." Derek kissed her shoulder again.

"Okay." Meredith kissed his lips and the phone began to ring. Instead Meredith straddled Derek and continued to kiss him.

"Meredith the phone is ringing." Derek said in between kisses.

"I don't care." She said as she began unbuttoning his shirt.

"But it might be important….or ……someone calling to wish you a happy birthday." Derek said as she slipped his hand up her shirt.

"Who cares?" Meredith said as she slid her hands into his shirt. 

"Okay."

"Take me to the bedroom." Meredith ordered.

"Okay." Derek said in laughter.

Suddenly the voicemail came on.

There was a manly voice Meredith recognized on her answering machine. "Hey Meredith it's Finn."

"Stop for a second." Meredith said to Derek. 

While in Derek's arms she looked at the electronic device and listened.

"I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday. You deserve to have a good one." The man said. "I just wanted to let you know that I was thinking about you and I miss you Meredith. I really do, I mean I'm getting married and you're all I can think about." Finn cleared his throat. "I think I'm still in love with you."

Meredith froze and looked at the machine. She was in complete shock.

_Bad timing_

_bad everything_

_this is bad_

_Happy Birthday_

Meredith still sat in Derek's arms. "Erase it."

"What?" Derek asked.

"Better yet just hand me my cell phone." Meredith said.

"You're calling him?" Derek asked.

"Give me my cell phone." Meredith insisted.

Derek walked her over to the counter and handed her the phone. She dialed the number and he put her down. He went to the bedroom, as she waited for Finn to answer.

"Hey." Finn answered.

"Why did you call?" Meredith asked.

"I just wanted to tell you how I felt." Finn replied. "I want to know how you feel."

"You really want to know how I feel?" Meredith asked. "Fine Finn. I am in love. But not with you. I am happy, for the first time in forever. I have someone whom I truly love. I hope one day this man gives me the life I had a dream of having. The one you messed up. The life that you took away. I was all Dark and twisty. You made me damaged goods, then when I didn't think you could mess me up anymore you rise to the occasion. I was messed up and you did that to me."

"I'm sorry." Finn said. "But, I just miss you.

"I don't care. It means nothing to me to hear you say those things." Meredith uttered.

"We can talk about this Mer-Bear." Finn said.

"No, you don't get to call me Mer-Bear. You lost that right." Meredith said. "Go marry that poor girl."

"Meredith." Finn interrupted.

"No. Goodbye Finn." Meredith said. She hit clear on the phone and hung it up.

She put her head in her hands. She looked up and Derek was leaning against the wall. "I'm sorry Derek."

He walked over and put his arms around is girlfriend. "It's okay."

"I can't even believe he called." Meredith said as she sat her phone on the counter.

"I'm proud of you. You stood up for yourself." He kissed her forehead.

"Thanks." Meredith said.

"Don't let this ruin your day." Derek said. "We have too much planned."

"I know, I'm sorry about killing the mood." Meredith said.

"Its okay." Derek smiled. "I'm looking forward to the sex I'm going to get when you come home tonight drunk off your ass after the club."

"Oh are you." Meredith smiled as she undid Derek's zipper. "So you're not looking forward to the sex you're going to get right now?" Meredith asked as she talked seductively into his ear.

"Oh Meredith." Derek said. "Are you feeling wild before lunch?" 

"I'm just looking for a reason to wear my birthday suit?" Meredith said as she winked and led him to her bedroom.

As Derek made love to her, Meredith's mind wandered. "Oh Derek…"

She moaned and reacted mostly the same way, but her mind was distracted. Derek could sense her emotions because she was tense the whole time and it seemed she was just staring into space. She barely kissed him the whole time.

When they finished he noticed she was crying. "What's wrong baby? Did I hurt you?"

"No, I'm sorry. I'm just a little emotional." She kissed his cheek. "It was bad sex wasn't it?"

"No." Derek said quickly.

"Because you didn't have an orgasm." Meredith tried to stop crying.

"No, but that is okay because anytime its with you its going to be perfect." Derek kissed her cheek. He knew she was all his, but something was bothering her. He began to realize that whatever this man did to her, whatever happened, it messed Meredith up.

"Maybe we should just go to lunch." Meredith said.

"Okay, we can do that." Derek said as he sat up and put Meredith's hair behind her ear. He kissed her neck and noticed that she tried to hold in tears, that seemed to be falling harder. "Meredith what happened between you and Finn."

"I don't want to talk about it." Meredith said.

It was easy to ready that Meredith didn't love Finn, it was just hard to figure out how he hurt her so bad. "Okay, we don't have to."

"Thanks." Meredith stood up. "I think I want to change my outfit.

As Meredith walked into her closet she looked through her sundresses and came out with one

"You look beautiful." He walked over and kissed her.

"Thanks, you ready?" Meredith asked as she walked to the door.

For the first time he saw a look in Meredith's eyes that made his heart sink. He saw a sadness that almost made him sick. Derek, just like her friends wanted to know what happened between Finn Dandridge and Meredith Grey.

PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!!!


	9. Birthday Part 2

Meredith's Birthday continued…

Derek took Meredith to Serendipity for her birthday lunch. It was one of her favorite places to eat in both summer and winter. But now, it was spring and Meredith was enjoying her Chicken Club Sandwich and lemon ice tea. Derek had taken her to get her hair highlighted and to get her nails done. After lunch he was going to take her to see a movie and then they would go back to her apartment to celebrate. Izzie was busy getting ready and then all of their friends were going to come.

"Are you alright?" Derek asked as Meredith ate. She had been grateful, but mainly kept quiet.

"I'm fine, so please stop worrying." She said as she smiled. "I'm having a great time."

"Okay." Derek replied back.

Meredith kindly smiled back. "Was the sex that bad earlier? I'm sorry; I must be a little tired."

"Meredith, the sex was fine. I'm just worried about you." Derek said as he signed for their bill.

Meredith stood up and pulled him closer. She kissed him gently, "Thanks for lunch."

GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAG

After the birthday party Alex Karev and Burke sat and watched the game, then Alex left when his team lost. Callie and George O'Malley left shortly after cake and Miranda had to return to the Bakery. Izzie did the crossword puzzle.

Christina was on her way home with Burke and the kids. "Alright, well let me run them home and I will get dressed. I'll come right back here and then we will go to Club Inspire"

"Deal." Meredith said as she closed the door behind her friend.

Meredith walked into her bedroom to find Derek lying on the bed.

"So, are you going to get ready to go out tonight?" Derek asked as he sat up.

"Yea, I'm going to shower." Meredith walked into her restroom. She showered then blow-dried her hair.

Derek came into the restroom as Meredith stood in her red terrycloth robe. He pushed his hair to one side of her and wrapped his arms around her waist. "I love you. You know that right?"

"Yes and I love you too. Now, please just let me get dressed." She said with a giggle.

Derek patted her on the butt, and then left her alone.

She took a deep breath and began curling the ends of her hair. She did her make up and put shimmer lotion on her skin.

"Meredith come one!" Izzie yelled from the other room. "Christina and I have been waiting forever."

"I'm coming!" Meredith slid on her strapless shirt and jeans, and then slid on a black pair of pumps.

Derek drove Meredith, Izzie and Christina to the club. "Give me a call when you feel like your having too much fun. That should be the sign that you need me to come get you." 

"Ha-ha. I love you and thank you for driving." Meredith kissed him through the car window then turned around.

They walked up to the bar of the club and Christina spoke, "Okay first shot of the night is to the birthday girl."

"Tequila!" Izzie yelled.

"Over the next hour and half Meredith had consumed eight shots of tequila and two rum and diet cokes.

Izzie and Christina were tipsy, but they watched as Meredith consumed a lot of tequila.

"Hey Meredith, don't you think you have had enough?" Izzie asked as Meredith took her ninth shot.

"I'm so fine." Meredith said as she stumbled and walked away from the bar. "This bar sucks."

"Derek's on his way sweetie." Izzie said as she held Meredith by the arm.

"I'm so over this place." Meredith said as she kicked the floor.

"No, I'm pretty sure you're enjoying." Christina chimed in as Meredith took a drink out of some random guys hand and drank it.

"Leave me alone." Meredith said.

They waited outside for ten minutes, and then Derek's black SUV pulled up. "Hey hop in."

"Hey baby." Meredith said while she kissed him and Izzie pulled her back to put her seatbelt on.

"Meredith sit still damn it." Izzie said.

"Fine." Meredith sat down. Suddenly Meredith began to cry. "Oh Finn called me."

"Yea, Izzie what happened between Meredith and Finn?" Derek asked.

"I don't know she never told me." Izzie said.

Meredith started crying. "I'll tell you why."

Izzie turned to Meredith, "Really?"

Christina looked at her, "Are you crying?"

Derek parked in front of the Meredith and Izzie's apartment. He came around and helped Meredith out.

She pulled her arms away and threw her clutch at Derek, "You want to know why? Why he hates me so much."

"Meredith you don't have..." Derek said as Meredith interrupted him.

"I got pregnant." Meredith said through her tears.

"What?" Christina and Izzie said in unison.

"Yeah, and he wanted to keep it a secret and surprise his family at the Fourth of July picnic. But a week before, I miscarried. I was thrilled to be pregnant and he was too. But then I miscarried and the doctor's said it happened. I was healthy and I don't have any issues. But that baby didn't stick. Then I miscarried and it all fell apart."

"Oh Meredith." Izzie said.

Derek watched in sadness as his girlfriend sobbed. 

"I had miscarriage with his baby and then he looked at me like I was a horrible disgusting person. He acted like it was fine, like he felt bad. But then he told his mom over the phone with me in the room that I got pregnant and had my child aborted." Meredith was gasping for air in between talking as the tears tasted salty on her lips. "It gets better, don't worry." Meredith put her hand up. "Then he started to see her. Another woman and now he is getting married."

"Meredith, I'm so sorry." Christina said.

"Derek," Izzie said.

"He's marrying her because for the last two months that he was with me, he couldn't even look at me. He had the nerve to cheat on me with her. It's not even the girl he is marrying."

"Meredith?" Izzie chimed in.

"What about the bruises on your arm the night after you broke up with Finn?" Izzie asked.

"Izzie." Christina interrupted.

"Those weren't from working out were they?" Izzie asked.

"He said I got it easy. Less than what he deserved to give me." Meredith wasn't sure if she made since. "I deserved it."

"No you didn't." Izzie said.

Meredith went and sat on the stoop of her apartment and began to sob. Derek walked over and held her in his arms. Christina and Izzie went and sat around her, rubbing her back. All three looked at each other as Meredith sat crying. None of them were expecting the answer; they had waited so long to hear.

Derek looked at Izzie and Christina. They all had tears in their eyes as Meredith sobbed on the stairs of her apartment building. By now, the tipsiness that Izzie and Christina were once feeling was gone and replaced with worry.

Meredith was drunk and crying. But she was crying, because she felt pain.

Izzie stood up, "Meredith, how about we go inside."

Meredith was still crying into Derek's shoulder as she carried her into the building. He felt angry. Angry, because the woman he loved was in so much pain. He kissed her head.

"I can walk." Derek lowered Meredith as she spoke. She got down and stumbled onto the elevator. "I'm never good enough!"

"Meredith, you are good enough. You are more than good." Derek said.

"No Derek, I wasn't good enough for my father, my mother or Finn!" Meredith stepped off the elevator. "Izzie open the doors with your key!!!"

"I've got it Mer." Izzie said.

"Thanks Bitch!" Meredith said. "Haha…I said thanks bitch."

Izzie smiled, "You are funny."

"Meredith, Burke is here, so I have to go." She hugged her friend, then looked up at Derek. "Please take care of her."

"Hey Christina, do you think you and Burke could give me a ride to Denny's. I texted him and told him I was staying there. I think Meredith needs to be alone with Derek." Izzie said as she walked inside.

"Sure." Christina walked in as Izzie went to get her things. She looked at Derek. "Call us if you need anything. She had a lot to drink, so she isn't going to feel good tomorrow."

"Thanks Christina and Izzie." Derek nodded.

A few minutes later Izzie and Christina left. Meredith was crying on her bed, when Derek walked in with a glass of water. He sat next to Meredith and stroked her cheek. "Meredith Ellen Grey, don't you ever say you aren't good enough for me. You're perfect for me."

"Derek, I'm screwed up and Finn was right." Meredith said through her tears.

"No, he wasn't. Finn was an Ass." He pulled Meredith in for a kiss. "Meredith you are beautiful, sexy, smart and everything great. I met and fell in love you with seven months ago. I don't want anyone else."

"Really?" Meredith said.

Derek smiled. "Yes, I don't plan on finding anyone else. You're the only one I want Meredith."

"I want a baby Derek." Meredith said through her tears. "I want you."

Derek kissed her. "Lets focus on you sobering up before we make a life altering decision."

Meredith burst into tears again. "You don't want me."

"Shhh, baby yes I do. I just think you're drunk." Derek pulled her closer. "We'll figure the baby thing out later."

"Okay." Meredith sat up quickly.

"What's wrong baby?" Derek said as he rubbed her back.

"I'm going to be sick." Meredith ran to the bathroom and emptied the contents of her stomach. "Eww it tasted like tequila."

Derek came in and held her hair back and wiped her face with a wet cloth as she threw-up. "Baby, you've stopped getting sick. Why don't you get into something more comfortable and go to bed."

"Fine." Meredith stood up and went to the sink to wash her hands. She stumbled around Derek to get out. "Derek help me."

Derek walked into Meredith's bedroom to find her struggling with taking her strapless top off. "Lift up."

"You're so strict." Meredith whined. She lifted her arms up and Derek slid the top over her head. She struggled with the button on her jeans so Derek helped her. She wrapped her arms around him and had a goofy drunken smile on her face.. "Do you want to make a baby right now? We could make sexy dreamy drunkkkeeeennn babie's. Get me pregnant, please." Meredith began to tear up again. I promise I'll be careful. I want one. I promise to be careful. I didn't mean to let the first baby get away. "

"Meredith, don't blame yourself for your miscarriage. It happens." Derek said sadly.

"I just want a baby Derek. I want a baby with you. Please just get me pregnant." Meredith begged and it broke his heart.

_I could kill Finn. He messed her up and now she blames herself for the miscarriage and everything that happened. But I can't give in while she is drunk off her ass and get her pregnant. _

"Mer baby, I would love you. Because nothing makes me happier then the thought of starting a family with you, but you're too drunk to think right now." Derek stated as he took her over to the bed. "Now do you want to sleep in just your panties or do you want to put pajama's on?"

Meredith moaned. "I want to sleep in just my panties."

Derek smiled. "Okay."

Meredith got under the covers and took a sip of water. "Derek, will you stay with me tonight?"

Derek hadn't planned on spending the night anywhere else, so he said, "Of course Meredith."

She kissed his cheek then laughed. "I'm shitfaced."

"That you are." Derek laughed. He kissed her on the lips. "Happy Birthday Meredith Grey."

"I love you Dr. Derekkkk Shepherd." Meredith said slurring her words like she had all night."

They slept soundly in each other's arms.

The next morning Meredith woke up to the feeling of Derek's lips on hers. Suddenly when she opened her eyes she was hit with a piercing headache. "Oh damn it."

"I figured you would have a hangover from hell." Derek said as he handed her and aspirin and water.

Meredith sat up and took the water and swallowed the aspirin. "How bad was I last night?"

"How much do you remember?" Derek asked.

"I pretty much just remember taking my third shot. After that I couldn't tell you anything. Did I throw up?"

"Yea you did. You don't remember anything?" Derek asked.

"Nope, I didn't do anything stupid did I?" She asked in a concerned tone.

"No." Derek smiled as he realized she didn't remember everything she admitted last night. He made a mental note to tell Izzie and Christina that she didn't remember it. For now, they needed to avoid talking about it with her.

"This is the worst hangover Derek." She dug her head into the pillow.

"I'm sorry Meredith."

"I would feel better if you would lay with me." Meredith held her hand out.

"Alright." He smiled and wrapped his arms around her. "I love you."

"I love you too." She said as he smelled her hair.

Eventually Derek knew that Meredith would need to talk about what happened with Finn. It needed to happen when she was not under the influence of alcohol. She needed to know that the people who love her the most, knew what had happened.

Meredith woke up from her post-hangover nap a few hours later. She felt a hand dancing on her stomach. "Derek, why are you running your fingers along my stomach?"

Derek smiled. "No reason."

"Okay." Meredith smiled.

"Do you want a baby?" He asked bluntly. He felt like it was almost word vomit. He just spit it out, but now he wanted to know her answer.

"Why do you ask that?" Meredith questioned as she sat up and grabbed a t-shirt from her drawer. "Did I say something in my sleep?"

"Answer my question first. Do you want a baby?" Derek said with his dreamy smile.

"Yes." Meredith said back trying to hide her grin and the light in her eyes. "I want a baby."

"Really?" Derek asked. "When?"

"I don't know. I guess when the time is right, but Derek…"Meredith said nervously.

"I know Meredith." Derek interrupted. "Izzie, Christina and I know."

"I told you about the baby didn't I?" Meredith said as she put her head down. She looked up with tears in her eyes. "How much did I say?"

"We know Finn hurt you, we know about the affair he had and we know that you had a miscarriage with a baby that you wanted." Derek said as he took her hand in his. "Meredith, are you alright?"

"Yea, I am." She said as she leaned her head against his shoulder. She let out a cry, "I wanted that baby really bad."

"I know." Derek hugged her tighter. "You did the best you could."

"I was three and half months along." Meredith said. "I had a small bump and I was going to break the news to my friends that afternoon. I was going to tell them, to avoid telling Finn. He wanted to tell his family first at a get together."

"I'm sorry Meredith." He squeezed her hand and kissed her forehead.

"I went to the bathroom and that's when I knew." Meredith looked up at Derek. "I called Finn at work and he couldn't come. So I went to the hospital alone and they told me."

Derek kissed her head again.  
_I can't believe my Meri, went through this. _

"They sat there is nothing permanently wrong with me." Meredith said. "So please don't leave because you think I might miscarry again."

"Meredith, I am not leaving you." He kissed her on the lips. "I'm going to be with you through everything along the way. I promise."

"Okay, but Derek?"

"Yes Baby?"

"I think we should think about the baby thing." Meredith said. "We should think about whether or not we are ready." 

"I think so too." Derek kissed her head. "But I have a question, would you rather be married?"

Meredith sighed, "I did the engaged thing. I mean, I just don't know. I think we could possibly get married one day, but I don't know if I need it to be before the baby. But I mean we've only been together eight months, we should wait a little bit of time before we make a choice on either ones of those."

"I think you're right." Derek smiled.

"But Derek, I don't want a baby with anyone else." Meredith said as she kissed him.

"Meredith, do you want to know the first time I thought about a baby with you?" Derek asked.

"When?" Meredith asked with a smile on her face.

"I knew the day I brought you all of the flowers, when you opened that door. You walked around the apartment holding Sadie on your hip and I knew. I knew that I wanted you and only you." Derek leaned over and kissed her passionately. "You're more than good enough Meredith."

Meredith smiled, "But I was a mess that day. I even had baby food smashed into my hair and shirt."

"To this day, I find it hard to believe you could get any sexier. I think the moment I see you with our baby, I won't be able to handle just how sexy you are." Derek kissed her again.

"Get me pregnant."

Derek almost choked. "Excuse me."

"You heard me." Meredith said as she straddled Derek. "This week we can practice. We'll keep practicing until we decide we are ready to get serious."

"That sounds like a plan." Derek pulled Meredith on top of him.

"Am I sensing that someone might want to practice?" Meredith giggled.

"No, I am just a man who wants to make love to the most beautiful woman in the world." Derek kissed her. He then whispered in her ear. "Do you want to take a big step?"

"What would that be?" Meredith asked. 

"Come out to the suburbs with me. Meet my mother and sisters." Derek said.

"Really?" Meredith asked.

"I want them to meet you." Derek said. "I want them to meet the mother of my children.

Meredith smiled and bit her lip. The thought of meeting parents never sat well with her. It made her nervous. Meredith always worried about the impression she left on people the first time she met them. The first time she met Finn's parents, she knew that his mother never liked her. Honestly, she hated Finn's mom. But she loved Derek and wanted to be happy. "Okay."

Derek began kissing her neck and massaging her breasts. "Derek?"

"Yes?" He answered as he found a spot he wanted to become dedicated to on her neck.

"Since we are talking about babies can I be honest?" Meredith began to wonder.

"Yes, what is it?" He said as he moved a piece of hair out of the way.

"Remember when we had sex on the kitchen table a few months ago?" Meredith asked.

Derek stopped what he was doing and laughed, "Yes I do, why?"

"Well, around three weeks after that happened, I noticed my period was a little late. But I took a test and it was negative." Meredith said. "Are you made?"

Derek smiled, "No, but the idea of you even needing a test makes me excited."

Meredith laughed. "Well I was a little relieved , because we were still new to the dating."

"Yea."

"But now, I can't wait to tell you the moment I need to take a test. I want that excitement of waiting with you." Meredith said as she entangled her fingers with his. "We can have baby Meredith and Derek's walking around."

"It will be great Meredith." He kissed her passionately as one of the left over curls fell in her face. "But Meredith, I have two nieces and two nephews and I have never changed a diaper."

Meredith laughed, "I'll show you how." She kissed his lips. "After our baby is born."

They were comfortable with the decision they made. They were waiting a little while and wanted to see how things went. Derek couldn't have been more thrilled. "Okay. Oh and Meredith can I ask you something unofficially?"

"Yes?" Meredith said. "Unofficially."

"Will you marry me?" He asked. "Unofficially."

Meredith smiled and a tear fell from her cheek. "Yes."

They made love to each other and when they finished Meredith said, "Hey, so you feel like playing house?"

"What do you mean?" Derek asked.

"Well, I told Christina the girls could stay here this weekend. Izzie is going to Denver with Denny and Christina and Burke have their anniversary. So the girls will spend Friday evening through Saturday morning with me." She kissed his lips. "We could play house."

Derek kissed her soft lips. "House sounds fun. Do the Mommy and Daddy get to have a naughty roughhousing play date?"

Meredith laughed through the kiss, "If we find a quiet way to do it, while they are sleeping."

"That might be hard." Derek said as he nibbled at her ear. "I might need Mommy to punish me. Punshing me is sometimes loud."

Meredith laughed. "You're weird."

Derek laughed, "You love me."

"I know I do." Meredith wrapped her arms around him, so that their naked bodies we're touching. She just stared into his eyes and said. "I love you."

PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!!!!PLEASE with a cherry on top.


	10. I love Her

Derek sat at the kitchen table as he watched Meredith clean the last of the dishes. He enjoyed watching her bend over in her black miniskirt. Christina and Burke were due to bring the kids over soon, but he couldn't contain himself. He walked over to her as she was scrubbing at a pan. He leaned over and kissed her neck, "You smell good."

Meredith smiled, "Thanks."

Derek began to let his hands roam down her waist and he slipped them under her skirt. "Meredith you wanted me to come over here, you're so ready."

Meredith smiled. "We can't. They are bringing the kids over here any minute."

Just as Derek pulled her skirt up. "You're not wearing anything under this skirt. I like that."

A knock at the door interrupted their lover's moment."Sorry baby." Meredith kissed his lips and walked for the door.

"Hey Meredith?" Derek asked as she turned around.

"Yes baby." She winked.

"You might want to fix your skirt." He winked back.

Meredith's face turned red and pulled down the skirt that was hiked up over her stomach. She walked over to the door and answered it. "Hey there kiddies."

"Hey." Burk said as he walked in holding Sadie.

"Hey Aunt Meri!" Nina and Lily said in unison.

"Hey girls." Meredith kneeled to hug the girls. She looked back up to Burke. "Where's Christina?"

"Oh, she's getting dressed. She was going to come, but the reservations were for six and she got of work late."

"Well, tell her I said hi." Meredith said as Burke handed Sadie to her.

Derek came around the corner. "Hey Burke, I can take some of the girls bags."

"Oh thank you Derek." Burke said handing a few pink bags and pillows to Derek. He handed a diaper bag to Meredith. He kneeled down to the level of Nina and Lily. "Girls be good and listen to Aunt Meri and Derek. If you here screaming from their room don't go in."

Meredith and Derek looked at each other with a dirty smile.

"Why not Daddy?" Nina asked.

"Their just playing a grownup game." Burke said as he looked up at Meredith. "Alright, give me kisses."

The girls gave Burke kisses. "Love you Daddy, bye."

"Bye." Burke left and Derek shut the door.

"Aunt Meri?" Lily asked.

"Yes Lily?" Meredith asked.

"Can we watch The Little Mermaid?"

"Yes, how about I set it up and you and Nina watch it while Derek and I get dinner." Meredith walked over to the DVD player and set it up.

"Aunt Meri?" Nina asked.

"Yes?" Meredith asked.

"Are you and Derek going to get married at a Princess Ball?" Nina asked as she played with her doll.

Meredith looked at Derek. Then Nina looked at Derek then back at Meredith.

"Aunt Meri?"

"Why don't you watch the movie with your sisters?" Meredith said as she changed the subject and picked Nina up and sat her next to Lily.

"Okay." Nina said.

Derek followed Meredith into the kitchen as she flipped open the phonebook. He wrapped his arms around her as she picked up the phone. "So, I guess that makes me your Prince."

"Oh shut up." Meredith said with a smile.

"You love it." Derek said as he turned her around in his arms. "What do you think of the question Nina asked?"

"I need to order dinner." Meredith said as she turned back around and dialed.

As she ordered the pizza, Derek kissed her neck. When she hung up she turned around. "I need to go get Sadie."

"Meredith, the other day said that you wanted to get married." Derek said.

"I said unofficially and down the road. Not now, I'm still young." Meredith put her hand on his chest.

"Would you say no if I asked you tomorrow or next week?" Derek curiously asked.

"I don't know. Derek, we have to watch the kids." Meredith said.

"But you're old enough to have a baby?" Derek said with a wink.

Meredith smiled, "We're practicing."

"We are practicing." Derek said as he kissed her lips. "We are getting really good at practicing."

"I don't feel like talking about this right now." Meredith grabbed a sippy cup and took it into the other room. "Sadie Lady, look what I have!"

She picked up the toddler, and then took her back into the kitchen. "Derek, I want a baby." She kissed him on the lips. "I want one really bad and that just might have to come before marriage."

Derek smiled. "You really want this baby don't you?"

"Yea, I mean we need to wait a little longer." Meredith said, "But if for some reason there was an unexpected pregnancy and it happened soon." As Meredith was holding Sadie she whispered into his ear, "I wouldn't be upset."

Derek smiled, "You better be careful what you say." Derek smacked her butt as she walked into the other room.

The pizza came to the door and Derek paid the woman who brought it. "Pizza!"

"Yay!!!" The girls through their arms up.

Meredith stood up, "Okay, let's go sit at the table."

She put Sadie in a high chair and grabbed their cups off of the counter and put them on the table. Meredith sat at one end and Derek sat at the other. Meredith gave the girls plates of pizza. As Meredith cut the pizza small enough for Sadie, Derek couldn't take his eyes off of her.

"Yummy Sadie." Meredith said as she put the plate on the high chair. Sadie began to cry and no matter what Meredith did, she wouldn't eat. "Oh fine Sadie." Meredith put the baby plate next to hers and held Sadie in her lap. "You're so spoiled and I love it."

Sadie smiled and giggled. "Pittttzzaaa."

"Very good Sadie." Meredith said as she handed her another piece. Meredith then took a bite of her own pizza.

"Meredith, feeling a little Mommy right now?" Derek said.

"Whatever." Meredith said.

They finished eating, and then finished watching The Little Mermaid.

"Aunt Meri can we play a game before bed?" Lily asked.

"Please!" Begged Nina.

Meredith looked at Derek who nodded back. "Yes, but let me put Sadie to sleep first."

"Okay." The girls said as they rushed to the game basket that Meredith kept in her living room.

Derek helped them pick out a game, while Meredith changed Sadie for bed. She walked into the kitchen with Sadie to grab her sippy cup.

Derek followed her back into Izzie's bedroom. "I can't play a game."

"Why not Derek?" Meredith asked almost annoyed. "The girls are excited."

"They insist on playing Pretty Pretty Princess." Derek said. "I am a man."

"I know that. But they want you to play." Meredith said back.

"But Meredith, I am a man." Derek explained. "I can't prance around in princess attire. That is your area."

"My area?" Meredith questioned.

"Yes." Derek said. He kissed her head, "I'm glad you understand." He patted her on the shoulder and started to turn around.

Meredith kissed Sadie on the head, then left the room and closed the door.

Derek pinned her against the wall and kissed her neck. "Their finishing up the end of a cartoon, we have time if you want to have rehearsal."

"Derek?"

"Yes?"

"So, when we have a little girl. If we have one, are you going to tell her no when she asks you to play tea party or Pretty Pretty Princess?"

Derek looked at Meredith, "Do I have to dress up?"

"Yes Derek. It means a lot to a little girl." Meredith said.

"Okay fine, but no pictures." Derek said.

"Fine." Meredith rolled her eyes then kissed him. "Let's go."

Meredith and Derek played with the girls then tucked them into bed.

As Meredith was going through her drawer, Derek came in. "Why are you picking out pajamas if I'm going to take you out of them anyways?"

"I need to wear pajamas."

"Why? You never wear pajamas when Izzie isn't here." Derek whined.

"But there are three very impressionable little girls." Meredith said as she walked into the restroom and shut the door.

Derek came in and brushed his teeth, as Meredith washed her face. Meredith slid into her pajamas as Derek got under the covers. She came out of the restroom and went to check on the girls. The she walked back into her bedroom.

Meredith's Pajamas

Meredith crawled under her covers and snuggled closer to Derek who was reading a section out of the newspaper. She kissed his cheek and rested her head on his chest. "Mmm I wanna get cozy."

Derek put his paper down, "I'll get cozy with you."

Derek began kissing her neck as she ran her fingers down his chest. "Lets get very cozy."

As they readied themselves, Derek reached for a condom. He tore the packiging open and Meredith put her hand on his and took the condom from him and threw it.

Derek smiled. "You're still on Birth Control."

"Yea, then why do we need a condom." Meredith said with a smile.

"Because its a double precaution." Derek said. Suddenly he gasped as Meredith put her hand on his manhood.

"Screw precautions." Meredith said as she arched her back and kissed him.

After they made love, they put their clothes back on.

"Derek, what day am I going to meet your mother?" Meredith asked.

"Next weekend." He kissed her then wrapped his arms around her. "She's going to love you."

Meredith took a deep breath, "I hope so."

They fell asleep holding each other and Meredith had a dream that night.

_"Congratulations Meredith" The nurse said as she handed Meredith a bundle in yellow. "Its your baby."_

"You did great Meredith." Derek said as he kissed her on the lips.

baby cries

The next morning Meredith woke up to find Derek staring at her. "What are you looking at?"

"You must have been having a good dream, you were smiling." Derek said as he kissed her again.

"Must have been." Meredith said as she remembered the dream.

Derek began massaging her are as she kissed him and lowered his boxers.

Luckily they were covered with the comforter because a moment later they heard, "Aunt Meri, can we have breakfast?"

Meredith laughed, "Yes you can."

Derek lifted his hands away from her, "I love you. Now lets play house some more and make pancakes." Derek fixed his boxers and got out of the bed. He picked up Nina

"Yay pacakes!!" The girls yelled.

Meredith got up and picked up Lily. "Come on, lets have some yummy breakfast.!"

As the girls played in the living room Derek and Meredith prepared breakfast. Meredith kissed Derek as he flipped a pancake. "You will make an excellent Daddy, some day."

_  
I love you, alot.._

GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAG

A few weeks later…

Derek sat in his office at the hospital. He had been in surgery all morning and now he was taking a breather. He looked at the picture on his desk of him and Meredith. He smiled.

Damn she's beautiful.

He heard a knock at the door, "Come in."

In walked a tall redhead. Addison Montgomery was Derek's ex-wife. He was wearing a black coat that tied around her waist.

"What are you doing here Addison?" Derek said, obviously annoyed.

"Oh, is that the way you greet the woman you were married to for eleven years?" Addison said as she walked to the desk.

"What do you want?" Derek asked.

"I wanted to come say hi." Addison said as she came around to Derek's side of her desk. She opened her coat to reveal a barely there red bra and panty set. She threw her coat on the floor and threw her self at Derek.

It all happened so fast, that Derek didn't react until her lips were on his. As he was pulling her away, Derek noticed something out of the right of his eye. Meredith Grey was standing in the doorway, with tears welling up.

Addison stood up and put her coat back on.

"Meredith." Derek stood up, but Meredith took off. He ran after her, but he got paged to a '911' and he was unable to go after her again.

Addison came running after him. "Who was that Derek?"

"Meredith." Derek said out of breath, "I love her."

The color drained from Addison's face, "I am so sorry Derek. If I had known I would have rethought this through."

"You should leave." Derek said angrily as he walked away.

"Call me if there is anyway to fix it!" Addison yelled as Derek went through the surgical doors.

duh duh duh...  
PLEASE REVIEW!!!!


	11. Meredith

Meredith had taken her lunch hour to surprise Derek with kiss and a chocolate muffin. When she got there she saw him kissing a busty redhead. She was still in shock as she got back to work. She hoped it was just a misunderstanding, but there was a woman. She was all leggy and fabulous.

"Are you okay?" Izzie asked.

Meredith looked at Izzie and took a deep breath. "Yea…I'm fine." 

"Okay, well Miranda is at a conference for the rest of the day and I am going to meet Denny. Are you still set to close this place tonight?"

"Yea." Meredith said as Izzie hugged her and left.

Meredith began to cry as her phone rang. It was Derek, but she was in no condition to talk. A little while later she checked her voicemail.

"Meredith, its me. I need to explain, but I don't want to over the phone. Now I know you are at the Bakery alone until tonight, So I am coming and I will explain. I love you. I just got out of the ER and I'm leaving here in five minutes. I love you. Please, just listen to me when I get there. I'll see you soon." Meredith erased the message.

She decided to keep herself busy while she waited for Derek to come, so she began cleaning the displays and sweep the front of the store. She fought back tears as she sprayed Windex on the display case. Meredith though about how she had worn a dress especially for Derek, It wasn't uncommon for her to wear a dress or skirt to work, but she wore this one special for Derek. There wasn't anything special about the dress itself, but it was because she was going to surprise him today.

She heard the bells from the door. Meredith looked up to find Derek walking towards her. She walked to the back of the store and cried.

"Meredith." Derek said calmly.

Meredith held her hand up as she cried.

"Look at me." Derek pleaded. "Let me look at you."

Meredith turned around and placed both hands on his shoulders, then kissed him passionately. She pulled away and began to cry as Derek took her into his arms and sat on a stool. He lifted her onto his lap as she cried into his shoulder.

"Meredith, its not what it looked like." Derek pleaded. "It was my ex-wife."

"You were kissing her." Meredith said through her tears.

"No, she came in and threw herself at me Meredith. She wanted me back, but when you walked in she realized I had moved on. She felt bad, but I mean it was horrible. I wouldn't ever do anything to hurt you."

Meredith knew deep inside she should trust him, but it hurt. "Derek, another woman kissed you."

"Meredith, I promise it meant nothing to me. Addison even said she would tell you herself, but I told her I needed to talk to you." Derek pleaded. "I love you Meredith."

Meredith sat up and looked at him. "Are you sure?"

"Meredith, I don't want anyone else. I love you too much." Derek kissed her lightly on the lips.

"I love you too." Meredith kissed him back.

Before they new it, they were undressed and panting in the office of the bakery.

"Wow." Meredith said.

"Yea…wow." Derek said.

"Derek?" 

"Yes Mer?"

"Do you wish I had bigger boobs?" Meredith asked.

"Why would you ask that?" Derek wondered.

"Well your ex-wife had big boobs and well mine are small." Meredith said.

"Meredith, you're perfect and beautiful." He replied as he kissed her. "I happen to love your boobs."

Meredith smiled. "Thanks."

They got dressed then walked to the kitchen and Meredith began to ice a cookie. "So, are you done at work for the day?"

"Marry Me."

"What?" Meredith said with as laugh.

"You heard me?" Derek said with a McDreamy smile. "Marry Me?"

"Are you crazy?" Meredith asked as she sat the cookie down.

"Meredith Grey, I am in love with you and I know you don't want to get married right away. We could wait a while. But I want you to myself. So please listen. Meredith, will you Marry Me?" Derek took a velvet box from his pant pocket and opened it.

_….and just forget the world. _

Meredith looked at Derek.

_He did say we could wait a while. You love him Meredith. _

"So?" Derek said with a smile.

_He will make everything come true. You know he is going to be the father of your children. You can't even imagine life without him. _

Meredith looked at the ring. The way it sparkled was enough to catch your attention.

_It's beautiful. I bet he even picked it out, on his own. _

Meredith looked at Derek.

_He's going to make me happy. _

Tears began to form in Meredith's eyes as she looked at Derek. His eyes were piercing.

_Say it Meredith. You have to speak at some point. _

"Yes." Meredith said with a smile. "I will marry you."

"Really?" Derek asked in excitement. "God, I love you Meredith."

He picked her up and twirled into his arms. "I love you."

Meredith wiped tears from her face as Derek put her back on the ground. She couldn't contain herself; she put both of her hands on the side of his face and kissed him again. "I can't believe this."

"Can I put the ring on you?" Derek asked as he kissed her again.

Meredith looked at him adoringly. "Yes."

He slid the ring onto her petite hand, "So, how does it fit?"

"Perfect." Meredith said.

"I know I proposed, when we said we were waiting, but I wanted you to have this ring. I bought Sunday." Derek said as he played with her hands. "We can still wait a while if you want to."

Meredith smiled. "Maybe next spring."

"What?" Derek asked.

"Its summer now, maybe over next the summer we can get married." Meredith looked up at him. "We can wait too; maybe I'm just on a rush from the ring."

Derek smiled. "I'll marry you whenever Meredith Ellen Grey."

"Thanks Derek." She kissed his lips. "So, what do you say I stop taking my birth control?"

Derek smiled. "Are you ready?"

"Well I don't want to be a pregnant bride." Meredith said with a smile. "We agreed that we wanted a baby, before we got married."

"This is true." Derek said as he wrapped his arms around Meredith. "That is the plan."

"Is that still our plan?" Meredith asked.

"Well, I like the idea." Derek kissed her nose.

_I really want a baby with her. It's been a dream since I met her. _

"I like the idea too." Meredith said.

"So we are officially trying?" Derek asked to confirm. "We are trying for a baby."

"I guess so." Meredith said with a smile. She heard the bell ring and she tended to a few customers. When she came back she hugged him again, "We're trying for a baby Derek Shepherd."

He raised his eyebrow, "So, we're trying for a baby."

_She is so beautiful. I can't believe she's going to be my wife. _

"So, I will go off of the pill and we will try for a baby." Meredith said.

"I can't wait Meredith." He said as he kissed her again. "I'm going to take care of you. When we find out, we'll get everything ready and paint the nursery. I'll go out and get the food you're craving and rub your feet."

She kissed him again. "I love you."

_I'm going to be truly happy. _

"I love you Meredith." He kissed her again. 

_I can't wait to help make her dream of being a Mommy, come true. _

"Derek?"

"Yes?" Derek answered.

"We should begin trying tonight." Meredith said.

Derek looked her in the eyes, "Oh we'll try at least twice tonight.

Meredith giggled. "Good."

Derek kissed her head and held her until they heard the door ring again and Meredith would have to return to work.

_Life is good…_


	12. Stick

t had been almost a month since Meredith and Derek had become engaged and began to try. They told their friends about the engagement, but felt they should keep their trying for a baby under wraps.

Meredith and Derek had fun trying for a baby. They tried anywhere and anytime they could. The tried in the bed, kitchen, car, the hotel they stayed in when they went to Chicago for a medical conference Derek had to attend and they even tried in a dressing room at a Target in Lower Manhattan. Needless to say, they couldn't go back there.

Meredith was supposed to go meet his mother and sisters in a week, because last time she was supposed to go his mother came down with the flu. So, now she was nervous. Meredith was nervous about meeting his mother and getting pregnant. She and Derek agreed not to get stressed over getting pregnant, but she couldn't help it.

When Meredith woke up she looked at the calendar. Her period was a week and a half late. She knew it would be the perfect time to take a test.

_please let this be it. _

Meredith walked to the drugstore that sat on the corner of her street. She walked in under the big Walgreens sign and headed straight to the feminine needs department. She looked at all of the options and it scared her. Back when she had found out she was pregnant with Finn's baby, she had gotten really sick and the doctor took blood to find out. She was new to the pregnancy test experience. She finally settled on an E.PT and took it to the clerk. The clear was an older woman who smiled when Meredith handed her the test. She put it in a bad and sent Meredith on her way.

Meredith knew that Derek was on his way over to her place, so she rushed back home. She sat the bag on the counter and nervously waited for Derek to come. She heard him come in and she walked to greet him with a kiss. "Hey."

"Hey you." He instantly took notice of how happy Meredith seemed. "What has you so happy?"

Meredith smiled and spoke, "I bought a test."

Derek took a deep breath and smiled. "Really?"

Meredith nodded, "Yes."

"You want to go take it?" He asked.

"Yea I do." Meredith said as she walked into her restroom.

"I'll be sitting out here." Derek said as he sat on the bed.  
_Please let this be positive. _  
Meredith sat in the restroom as she read the directions to her self then urinated on the stick. She washed her hands and came out with the directions. She handed them to Derek.

"We wait three minutes." He read from the small paper.

They sat in silence as they waited. They knew that their lives could change in three minutes.

_The longest three minutes ever. _

Derek looked at his watch. "Meredith, its time."

Meredith looked at Derek then at the door to the restroom. She had become so nervous that her body shook. "Okay."

She walked into the restroom and retrieved the stick. She came back and showed it to Derek.

"Okay, well let me see." Derek said as he read the directions. "Okay two pink lines is positive and one blue line is negative." He looked at Meredith then at the stick. He took a deep breath. "We have one blue line."

Meredith took a deep breath, "Oh well. We'll try again."

_Damn _

Derek watched as Meredith took the directions and the stick. She went into the bathroom to clean up.

_She took that well. _

A moment later Derek decided he should go check on Meredith. He walked in to find her tearing up the directions to the E.P.T. "Meredith?"

"What?" She asked fighting back tears. She looked up at him. "I really wanted it to be positive."

"I know." Derek said as he took her into his arms. "I did too."

"I'm sorry Derek." Meredith said as she began to cry.

"Why are you sorry?" Derek asked. He was worried that she was going to beat herself up over this.

"I just, I can't seem to get it right, you know?" Meredith said as she looked down. " I mean I've lost a baby already Derek. I'm not pregnant this time, what if this is a trend. I just.." Meredith began to cry.

"You're doctor told you that you were healthy and everything was in working order Meredith. What happened to you last time was just an accident. There was no explanation as to why. This time, the test was negative. The next test and the test after that might be. That's why it is called trying." He kissed her forehead. "We'll make this happen Meredith."

She smiled weakly and wiped away a tear, "You're not mad?"

"No Meredith, why would I be? I could never ever be mad over this." He kissed her lips. "We are in this together."

"Okay." She said as she calmed down.

"Besides, this just means we get to try some more." He kissed her lips passionately and tasted her salty tears. "The trying is fun, we like trying."

"We do like trying." She laughed through her tears. He hugged her as she continued to cry. She knew that everything would be okay, but she still cried. She stayed in his arms, "Why me?" She asked.

_why did Derek choose to love me? Why did it happen _

"Because I love you and you're the one my heart belongs to Meredith." He laid back on the bed with her, "You're going to get pregnant Meredith. I can feel it, but it might just take some time."

"I'll try and be patient." She said as she rested her head on his chest. 

_Maybe next time._


	13. Meeting Momtest

"Derek's a Jerk." Meredith said as she stood in her kitchen baking as Izzie sat at the kitchen table.

"What did he do?" Izzie asked.

"He yelled at me this morning." Meredith said as she put ingredients into a mixer.

"Well, what did he yell about?" Izzie stood up and began cleaning her cereal bowl in the sink.

"Well, we're supposed to go to his mother's at noon." Meredith started.

"Oh yea, you're supposed to meet Derek's family." Izzie said. "Derek's taking you home to meet his mother."

Meredith rolled her eyes, "Not if his attitude doesn't shape up."

"Well, it sounds like you and Derek might be having you're first fight." Izzie said. "Good luck and have lots of makeup sex."

"He's not getting sex." Meredith said.

"Oh there will be sex." Izzie said. "I'm just glad I have to work."

"What time?" Meredith asked. 

"I'm leaving now." Izzie said as she grabbed her purse and a Vitamin Water from the refrigerator. "See ya later."

"Bye." Meredith replied back.

Meredith turned the mixer off and began pouring it into the dish, then placed it into the oven. She heard the door open and Derek rounded the corner.

"Hey." Derek said as he sat his keys on the counter.

Meredith looked at him then walked over to the sink.

"You want to take a quick morning nap, maybe even make a baby." Derek said as he wrapped his arms around her. "Then we'll go to my mothers."

"I'm not going." Meredith said as she moved away from Derek's arms. 

Derek laughed awkwardly. "Uh…baby, what do you mean you're not going?"

"I'm not going to go, so that would accomplish the not going." Meredith snapped back.  
"What's wrong?" Derek asked.

"You're a jackass." Meredith said as she grabbed a mixing bowl for the icing.

Derek crossed his arms, "What did I do that has you so pissed?"

"You yelled at me this morning!" Meredith said.

"You were driving me nuts Meredith!" Derek yelled back.

"How? How was I driving you nuts?" Meredith yelled.

"You freaked out when I said I had to go in to do an early 911 surgery." Derek answered.

"I was not freaking out about that. I asked you when you would be back and you very rudely responded with 'I don't know.' Then I asked if you would be home by noon to go to your mothers and you yelled more." Meredith took the cake out of the oven and slammed it on the counter.

"Well, I wasn't planning on going into the surgery!" Derek yelled. "You just kept asking me about something I wasn't sure about."

"Well, I'm sorry that I was curious about when my fiancé would be back, because we had plans!" Meredith said. She turned off the oven, and then went into the bedroom.

Derek followed her into the bedroom. "I don't want to fight Meredith."

Meredith looked up with tears in her eyes. "I'm sorry."

Derek went and sat next to her on the bed. He put his arms around her, "Its okay and I'm sorry too."

Meredith began to cry.

"Hey, we survived our first real fight." He said as he kissed her forehead.

"Yea." Meredith said through her tears.

Derek saw that Meredith was still upset, but he knew that it was more than the argument.

_She hasn't been the same since she took that test. _

"Meredith, please stop beating yourself up over the pregnancy test." Derek said as he held her closer. "It usually doesn't happen for any couple the first time they try."

"But you don't understand." Meredith said. "I've already lost a baby. Do you know how bad that hurts?" Meredith wiped her tears. "I mean I don't know what I did. I took my vitamins, I ate well and I lift anything too big."

"I don't know, but I don't want you to worry." Derek kissed her lips. "But please don't blame yourself. It hurts my heart Meredith, honestly it does."

_I fucking hate Finn, he blamed her for losing that baby and now my Meredith is a mess. _

"I'm sorry." Meredith said, "I'm sorry if I don't get pregnant. If you don't want to marry me because I can't seem to get…"

Derek cut her off, "Stop that Meredith. Stop saying you're sorry about not getting pregnant the first time around. You can have babies, the doctor told you so. You know I could kill Finn for what he did. He made you miserable and you didn't even realize it until you wanted another baby."

_Damn she's beautiful. I wish she would just get pregnant, so she wouldn't be so worried. But it will happen when the time is right. _

"I love you." Meredith said as she kissed him.

"Mmmm I love you too." Derek said as she pulled her on top of him.

Meredith removed her shirt quickly. She ran her hands to the hem of Derek's shirt and lifted it above his head. Derek undid the belt on his pants as Meredith lowered herself down to his manhood. Derek pulled her back up to him. "No Meredith."

"Why not?" Meredith asked. "You don't want a blow job?"

"I do, but not now." Derek said as he stuck his hand at the waistline of her jeans and pushed them down. "I want to touch your ass."

Meredith giggled, "Really?"

"No." Derek said as he flipped her over. He began kissing her ankle and down to her inner thigh. He kissed each side of her thighs

"Oh, Derek." Meredith moaned, "Please, just do it."

Derek teased her with his tongue. Than began to kiss up her mound, to her stomach.

"Oh Derek, that is not funny." Meredith said. "You teased me….Oh what are you doing?"

Derek looked at her stomach and kissed it, "I'm going to try really hard Meredith to get you pregnant." He kissed it again, "I love you."

Meredith smiled, "I love you too."

Derek finished removing his pants, than place his hands on each sides of Meredith's head. "I want to make a baby with you."

Meredith smiled as the tears streamed down her face. She put her hands on his shoulders and kissed Derek passionately, lightly biting his lip.

"I want to give you this gift Meredith." Derek smiled and kissed Meredith's neck.

"It's the greatest gift Derek." Meredith said as she met her lips with his. She lowered her hand to massage his erection.

"Lets make a baby." Derek kissed her forehead, then thrusted into her.

"Oh my God." Meredith gasped as she threw her head back.

"You're so beautiful." Derek said as he slowly thrusted in to her. He made sure he did it slowly, because he wanted it to be romantic. He wanted the moment they created a new life to be romantic and memorable, even if it meant slow and sweet sex for a while.

As Meredith moved with Derek's body, she grasped onto the sheets as Derek kissed her neck. She moaned, "I love you."

_I could say it a million times. _

Derek's felt her back arch beneath him as her orgasm took over. "Derek…Derek…I ….oh my gosh."

"Meredith, oh my God." He kissed looked into her eyes as she closed her eyes and moaned. He kissed her chest as she came down from her orgasm. He was immediately turned on as she began thrusting, and massaging his penis.

"Come on Derek." She said as she whispered into his ear. She grinded her hips, which made him scream her name in return. She smiled and instantly felt him fill his warm and sweet essence into her. "Oh Derek…oh…"

As Derek came down from the high, he kissed her gently. They both had beads of sweat coming from their bodies, as Meredith spoke, "Thank you."

He kissed her lips as passionately as he could, "We better get cleaned up, before we have to go."

Meredith smiled and was still out of breath when she said, "If your mother asks what we did this morning, we should leave this out."

Derek laughed, 'Meredith?"

"Yes baby?" She said as she played with his curls.

_I have a good feeling. _

"Never mind." He said, "Let's go get ready."

"Okay." They kissed each other passionately and then got up. "Derek?"

"Yes?"

"I hope your mother likes me." Meredith said as they got into the shower.

"She'll love you." Derek said as he put is hands on her waist.

Derek drove into the driveway of a big brick house. He looked over at Meredith and took a hold of her hand, "Don't be nervous. My mother will love you."

"Does she know we're engaged Derek?" Meredith asked nervously.

"I told her I was proposing right before I bought the ring. Then I told her when you said yes." Derek kissed her hand. "She and my sisters are very excited to meet you."

Meredith took a deep breath, "Okay let's go."

They both got out of the car and walked hand in hand up the sidewalk. Meredith suddenly stopped. "Derek?"

"What's wrong?" Derek saw a nervous look on Meredith's face.

"Were not going to mention the whole baby thing, right?" Meredith asked.

"No, we don't need to. I mean, we'll just let them know when it actually happens." Derek kissed her gently. "The baby stuff is our business right now."

Meredith smiled, "I feel much better now."

"Good." He moved a strand of hair out of her hair and led her up the steps of the home. He walked right in, "Mom!"

Meredith looked at Derek and smiled. A moment later she heard a sweet woman's voice come from the kitchen. "I'm coming."

A little girl ran around the corner and into Derek's arms, "Uncle Derek!"

"Hey Bella!" Derek said. He kissed her on the cheek then looked at Meredith, "Bella this is Meredith."

"Hi, Meredith."

"Hey Bella." Meredith said with a smile on her face. Before she could speak another word to women came into the kitchen, one older and one younger.

"Hey Mom." He said as he kissed her cheek. He hugged the younger girl, "Hey Jenny."

"Hey Derek." Jenny said back.

"Mom, Jenny and Bell, this is Meredith." Derek said as he pulled Meredith closer. "She is my fiancé."

"I'm Derek's mother." She said as she hugged Meredith tightly. "Welcome to the family."

Meredith smiled, "Thank you. You have a lovely home."

"Well let's sit down for lunch." Jenny said as she walked towards the dining room.

Meredith sat next to Derek. He held her hand mostly through lunch. "So was Derek a good kid."

Derek's mom laughed. "It depends."

"Mom!" Derek said.

Meredith laughed as his mother answered, "He was a very sweet and kind little boy. No there was one time where he refused to take a bath and I had to chase him down the street. He got all the way to the end of the street wearing absolutely nothing."

"Oh Mom, why did you have to say that?" Derek said as Meredith laughed.

They talked and laughed at the table for a few hours.

"Well, I'm going to clean off the table." Jenny said as she stood up.

"I'll help you." Derek said.

"No honey, I can do it. You stay and talk to your mother." Meredith said as she kissed him lightly. She took a few dishes into the kitchen.

"Hey." Jenny said, "So were you surprised by the ring."

"Well we talked about it briefly, but I wasn't expecting it. So I was really surprised." Meredith said, "You have a great brother."

"Thanks." Jenny said with a smile. "He's a great brother."

"He's just great." Meredith said with a smile.

"Can I ask you a question?" Jenny asked. "If you don't want to answer you don't have to. And I also mean it in a very sweet sway, so I hope you don't get offended."

Meredith was a little nervous, but she nodded her head. "Sure."

"Are you pregnant?" Jenny asked. "I mean you just have a glow in your face."

Meredith smiled, "No, I'm not. At least not that I know of."

"Sorry I know I'm butting in too much." Jenny said apologetically.

"No, no you're fine." Meredith said, "I don't mind. So what kind of brother was Derek?"

"He was great and very protective. I mean, he used to get the names and addresses of the boys we dated." Jenny looked at Meredith who was fiddling with a towel. Jenny instantly felt a connection to Meredith. "Derek's going to make a great Dad. He's going to be very protective of his little girl."

Meredith smiled, "Really?"

"Yes, I mean he has experience with kids too. He had younger sisters, nieces and nephews." Jenny said, "I mean Bella's first Halloween where she could go trick or treating my husband and I came down with the flu. So Derek dropped everything and took her." Jenny took a deep breath.

Meredith smiled, "He's a sweetie."

"Meredith, my brother went through a tough time with the divorce and all. I have never seen my brother this happy in years, not even when he was married. I know you for a few hours and you fit." Jenny said.

Meredith felt tears come to her eyes, "Thanks."

Jenny put her arms around Meredith, "In two weeks, take a test."

Meredith laughed, "What?"

"You might not know it yet, but you have got to be pregnant." Jenny said, "You're very emotional and you're glowing."

"I don't think I'm pregnant." Meredith said. "I mean I wouldn't mind, but I don't think I am."

"Meredith, if you aren't pregnant, then I will name the next child I have after you some how. Maybe even a middle name." Jenny said as she popped a grape into her mouth.

Meredith laughed, "Well you don't have to do that."

"You're so pregnant, that or you had some really great sex." Jenny said teasingly.

Meredith laughed and Jenny laughed as Derek came into the room. "So, how are you two doing?"

"We're good." Jenny said as she walked behind Derek. She made belly symbols to Meredith until Derek turned around. "So Derek are you going to stay tonight and play poker with the guys?"

"No, I don't think so. Meredith and I have to go soon." Derek said as Meredith yawned.

"You tired Meredith?" Derek's mother asked.

"Just a little bit." Meredith said.

Jenny mouthed silently to Meredith, "Pregnant."

Meredith laughed as Derek and his mother turned around and looked at Jenny who started laughing too.

_Jenny made me feel good, but I'm not pregnant. I already took a test. _

They finished talking, then Meredith and Derek left. When they got into the car Meredith kissed Derek sweetly.

"What was that for?' Derek asked.

"For being a good guy." Meredith said as she snapped her seatbelt.

They sat in silence the whole ride to Derek's apartment, as they held hands. They needed a change of scenery since they always stayed at her place.

As they walked into the apartment Derek gently pinned Meredith against the wall. He kissed her hard and passionately then leaned his head against hers. "My mother and sister loved you."

"Really?" Meredith asked.

"Yes." Derek replied as he kissed her neck.

"Love you." Meredith put her arms around his neck.

"Love you Pinkie." Derek said as he kissed her cheek.

"Pinkie?" Meredith laughed.

"Just go with it, you called me Boo Boo Bear earlier. So Pinkie is my name for you." Derek said as he led her to the bedroom. "Let's go watch a movie."

"Okay." Meredith said as she yawned and followed Derek.

_I love you always and Forever._

GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAG

It had been a little over four weeks since Derek's family had met Meredith. The day after lunch with his mother, Meredith met the rest of his sisters, nieces and nephews. She had also met all of the husbands, she loved his family and they loved her.

Meredith woke up and felt slightly disoriented. For the past three days she had felt ill and today was no different. She sat up, ripped her covers off and ran to the restroom. Today was no different; she ran to the restroom and emptied the contents of her stomach. She leaned against the wall.

What is going on?"

"You might need this." Derek handed her a pregnancy test box. The last time they went to the store they bought a few and put them in a drawer in the bedroom.

Meredith looked up at Derek, and then bent over the toilet again. He held her hair and fixed the strap of the pink lace camisole that had slipped off of her shoulder. "Don't get excited its just the flu."

Derek knelt down and wiped her face with a wet cloth, "The flu that goes away by noon?"  
"I don't know." Meredith said with a tear in her eye.  
"Take the test. I'll be waiting on the bed." Derek said and then kissed her temple.  
Derek walked out and Meredith held onto the box pondering what she should do.

Meredith walked out of the restroom and sat next to Derek.

Derek put his arms around her. "Three minutes."

"Three minutes." Meredith repeated. She took a deep breath and said, "I took three. I urinated of three of them, so that we would definitely know the results."

"Yea?" Derek asked.

"Yea."

Derek kissed her cheek, "Two more minutes."

"Two more minutes." Meredith replied.

They sat and waited in silence. Meredith felt like it was the three longest minutes of her life. She didn't know what to do so she just stared at the picture on the dresser. It was of her and Derek at the mall sitting on Santa's lap at the mall. She had to talk Derek into doing it, but it was their first Christmas together and she really wanted to.

Derek sat and looked at the same picture. He remembered how Meredith talked him into sitting on the mall Santa Clauses lap. He remembered that Meredith wasn't into Christmas at end of November, but by the end of the month she was excited.

_I just want us to be happy. _

"Derek, how much time do we have?" Meredith asked.

When he looked over at her, she reminded him of a young child. There was something so innocent about the look on her face, "Ten seconds."

"Okay." Meredith said.

"Meredith look at me." Derek said.

Meredith looked over and Derek and he kissed her passionately. "Whatever happens Meredith, I love you. Everything is going to be alright."

"I love you too." Meredith took a deep breath. "Its time isn't it?"

"Yes." Derek said as he patted her back, "Go get them babe."

Meredith stood up and took a deep breath. "Okay."

She walked into the restroom and grabbed all three of the sticks. She made sure she didn't look, but walked slowly back to Derek.

Derek watched as Meredith walked out of the bathroom.

_She's so beautiful. Please let this be it. _

Meredith walked over to Derek and sat down next to him. "Here."

Derek took the tests into his hand. "You ready?"

"I guess so." Meredith looked down at her hands. She began fidgeting with the bracelet on her wrist.

Derek double checked the directions, and then looked down at all three tests. He took a deep breath. "Mer,"

_I can do this. _

"Meredith…" Derek said again.

"Yea?" She said quietly.

"All three of them are positive." Derek said happily.

"What?" Meredith asked as she looked up.

"They're positive." Derek said with a smile. "Meredith you're pregnant."

Meredith smiled as tears filled her eyes. "Really?"

"You're pregnant baby." Derek said as he took her into his arms.

Meredith burst into tears. "We're having a baby."

"We are having a baby." Derek held her as she cried tears of joy. "I love you."

Meredith moved her head up for Derek to kiss her. As they kissed, he moved her back onto the bed, so that her head rested on the pillows.

"Derek…"Meredith said.

"Yes?" 

"I want to take this slow, so that I can try my best to make sure everything turns out alright." Meredith said.

Derek knew what she was referring to and he cuddled closer to her. "Meredith we will take you to the doctor's tomorrow. Then have you checked out and get everything we need to."

"Okay." Meredith said. "Derek, I'm going to get really fat."

"I can't wait." Derek said as he placed his hand on her stomach. He leaned over and kissed her belly. "I can't wait to meet you my baby."

"You just talked to my belly." Meredith said laughing. "That was cheesy."

"Get used to it Mommy." Derek said as he kissed her lips.

"Fine Daddy." She kissed him back before they fell asleep.

Please review

review


	14. A visit

"I don't want you to go to work." Meredith said.

"I have to. I have a surgery, but you're coming at noon." Derek said as he kissed her and put his hand on her stomach.

"I am coming at noon." Meredith said as she put her hand on her stomach too.

"You're getting a baby bump." Derek said with a smile.

"No I'm not." Meredith said in a giggly tone. "I'm only 12 weeks." 

"You have a bump. It's a cute bump and I love it." Derek said as he kissed her stomach.

"Do you really have to go?" Meredith asked. "I'll stay in bed all day if you do too."

"I wish I could, but I can't." Derek said. "You're appointment is at noon, you can come early and we could have lunch."

"Lunch is good." Meredith said. She sat up, "I really wish you didn't have to go."

"I know Meredith, but I have to." Derek smiled as Meredith gave him a puppy dog face. "I love you, but I promise I'll make sure to see you at noon."

"Okay, I love you Derek. Call me when you get there." She sat up as he leaned into kiss her. He walked out of the bedroom. "Derek!"

He turned around, "What baby?"

"I love you."

"I love you too."

_Please don't go to work. _

As Derek walked to his car, what he didn't realize was that someone in a nearby car, had been watching. That person, was waiting for Meredith and planned to follow her to the hospital later that day.

GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAG

_Keys, purse, cell phone, water and jacket. I have everything I need. _

Meredith grabbed all of her things, and then locked up her apartment. She took the elevator down to the front of her apartment. She walked outside and hailed a cab. As she looked across the street she saw a car that she noticed.

_Is that Finn's?...no it can't be. _

Meredith got into the car, "New York General please."

"Right away." The cab driver said.

Normally Meredith liked to observe the driver, but she couldn't help but notice that the familiar car was following behind. She kept looking straight ahead, she got a feeling that she wanted to call Derek and have him meet her outside. She didn't want to walk in alone, for some reason.

_Chill out Meredith, they will probably turn somewhere._

As the cab driver pulled into the hospital, Meredith noticed that the familiar green car turned into visitor parking. Meredith paid the cab driver and got out. She walked into the hospital and headed for the elevator. She walked onto the elevator and as the doors closed, a man ran up and managed to catch it.

"Hello Meredith."

"Finn." Meredith said, suddenly feeling really nervous.

"What floor are you headed to?" He said politely.

"Four." Meredith said.

"That's funny, me too." Finn said as he hit the fourth floor button.

_Please don't let this turn into something it's not  
I can only give you everything I've got  
I can't be as sorry as you think I should_

_Please review_


	15. Visit 2WARNING

WARNING::: This chapter and about two after it…have some mature themes to it. The whole story is not rated M….mat some of it has pieces that are and this one does….so bare with mer…you know I'm for Mer/Der love.

_Please make this ride go faster. _

As the elevator began rising Meredith found herself getting nervous. She kept telling herself that it was just a ride, but her heart kept pounding.

"Why so nervous Meredith?" Finn said as he walked up and put his hands around her waist.

Meredith stepped forward, "Please don't touch me."

"You used to love when I touched you like that." Finn said as he pinned her up against the wall. He planted a huge kiss on her.

"Leave me alone." Meredith insisted. She pushed Finn off of her.

"Baby, why don't you like it?" Finn said as he pinned her again. He overpowered her and pushed her hands above her head. He kissed her neck. "I can pleasure you better than that fucking doctor."

'Stop it, what do you want?" Meredith asked as she tried to stay calm. She almost lost in when she felt Finn force his hand into her pants.

_Please make him stop. Oh God, this can't be happening._

"I want you alone, you're always with him." Finn stuck a finger into her.

"Stop it." Meredith hit him with her knee in his manhood.

"Ouch." Finn bent over in pain and his finger slipped out.

As the doors opened Meredith stepped off quickly. She didn't get too far before she felt a hand on her arm.

"You're not getting away." Finn said as he held something to her back.

Meredith took a deep breath, "What do you want with me?"

Suddenly he jerked her into a nearby room. He shut the door and locked it.

"Finn, what do you want?" Meredith asked as she held back the tears.

Suddenly Finn pulled a gun from his green coat, "I want you back and that's going to happen."

"It's not going to happen." Meredith shouted.

"Shut up Meredith." Finn said as he waved the gun.

"No, I have moved on." Meredith said, "So have you."

"Shut up!"

"I am happy." Meredith shouted, "Let me go, let us go Finn."

"Shut up!" Find shouted getting angrier.

"You shut up!" Meredith shouted back.

_BANG _

Meredith covered her ears. She looked up and saw that Finn shot the gun into the exam table. She wondered if someone would come and find them and it was confirmed when she heard a voice outside the door.

"Is everything alright in there?" The voice asked.

She heard Finn crack the door open and he responded, "Fine, but I'm holding a young woman hostage and if you call the cops, I will kill her."

"Is the woman in need of health assistance?" The person asked.

"She's fine, but she won't be when I shoot her in the head." Finn said as he slammed the door shut.

Meredith stood up, "Finn, please just stop."

Suddenly Meredith's phone began to ring. Finn walked over and took her from her. He looked on the caller id and smiled, "Hello this is Finn. Oh hi Derek. No…No..Meredith's fine. I'm holding her hostage with gun in an exam room and if you try to get her out I will kill you both. Actually, I'll kill her first, then you. Oh but you should no, I fingered her and it was great. She really misses me."

Meredith blinked back the tears, "Finn please."

"You hear that Derek? She's begging for more." Finn laughed, "Don't call the cops or you'll never see my Meredith again." Finn hung up the phone, "Now what?"

Finn walked over and put his hand on Meredith's face, "Meredith if I can't have you, then no one else can either."

"What?"

"That's right Meredith." Finn pressed his lips against hers. "If I can't have you then, I am going to kill you."

"Why?" Meredith asked nervously. "That's not fair."

"Nothings fair in love and war." Finn pushed her back on the exam table and forcefully pulled shirt up.

Meredith began to fight back, "Stop it please."

"I want you baby, I forgive you for being such a fucking whore." Finn used one hand to fight off Meredith's arms and the other to stroke her breast.

_He's actually doing this to me._

Meredith closed her eyes to fight back the tears, "Stop it."

"No, I won't stop in." Finn said as he put his head down to her breast and began licking it. "I could kill you instead, but only if you want me to."

Meredith began hearing pounding on the door,.

"Hospital Security." The man said, "We demand you come out."

"Fuck."

While Finn had his head turned, Meredith pushed him off of her. "Get away from me."!

"Oh, no you're going to be sorry Meredith."

"Finn please…" Meredith said, but couldn't finish.

Finn raised his hand and slammed her in head with his gun, knocking Meredith out cold.

_Then there was nothing. _

TO BE CONTINUED...

please review!


	16. Life can Change

Derek came running down the hall to find Preston Burke standing on the nurse's station, "Tell me she's okay."

"Derek, he won't open the door." Preston said as he put his hand on Derek's back. "Its going to be okay."

Derek shook his head, "No, it's not okay until she is our of there."

"They have called in the police and they're going to get her out of there." Preston said, "Just have faith."

Derek looked at Preston then walked closer.

"Sir, we can't have you through here." The officer said.

"My fiancé is in there." Derek pleaded.

"We are doing the best we can." The cop said.

Derek turned around and leaned his head against the wall and sat. Burke went and sat next to him as cops stood around and pondered what to do.

Inside the room, Meredith's head had been cracked and blood was leaking from the wound. Finn hovered over her as he began to undo her pants. "You're all mine Mer Bear."

He leaned down to kiss her, but she began moving. 'Der…"

"Shut the fuck up." Finn hit her with the gun again, causing Meredith to black out again. He leaned down to kiss her. He returned to unbuttoning her pants when the door crashed open. 

"Police!" The men in uniform stood in the doorway. "Get off of Ms. Grey."

Finn looked at Meredith, then back at the cops, "It's a shame that someone called you guys."

Derek heard the door crash open and he looked at Burke with swollen eyes. He knew now was a pivotal moment in saving Meredith from Finn and all he could do was sit and wait.

"Put the gun down!" The cop shouted.

"It really is a shame, because now Meredith Grey is dying today." Finn aimed the gun at Meredith's already bleeding head, "Goodbye Mer Bear."

_Help me._

"Sir put the gun down!" The cop yelled.

Finn kept the gun pointed at Meredith's head and clicked it into position. "I loved you Meredith and I'm sorry it had to come to this."

_BANG _

_BANG_

Derek looked up and jumped to his feet. "Those were gunshots. Those were gunshots right?"

"I believe so Derek." Preston said as he stood up.

"We need to clear the area." The cops said as they ushered people away. "We need you all to leave the main are and only specified personal on the scene."

"Derek lets just wait." Derek said as he held Derek back. "We don't want to get in the way."

"But we're doctors, what if we can save her?" Derek said with tears in his eyes.

"Derek, you are in no condition." Burke said as he pulled him into an office. "We are going to wait until someone comes and tells us what is going on."

Derek put his head in his hands.

_My Meredith, God please let her be alright. Please. Oh God and the baby please let the baby be alright. _

A moment later a nurse came to the door. "Doctor Shepherd."

Derek stood up knowing that in this moment, his whole life could change.

_Please._


	17. Wake up please

It had been almost three hours the gunshot had been heard and Derek felt like it had been ages.

"Dr. Shepherd?" The nurse repeated. "I'm here to update you."

"I don't even know what to ask." Derek said to Burke. "Meredith? What happened?"

"She's still unconscious." The nurse said. "The doctors looked her over and they think she is going to be just fine, when she wakes up."

"If she wakes up?" Derek asked in fear of hearing the answer.

"Yes."

"Where did he shoot her?" Derek wanted to know.

"He didn't. As he was getting ready to shoot, one of my men had to take him out." The cop said as he walked up behind the nurse.

"What did he do to her?" Burke asked. He wasn't quite sure how she was injured.

"He knocked her out with the gun. It looks as if he was planning on…" The cop was interrupted.

"He was trying to rape her wasn't he?" Derek asked with fear.

"I'm sorry sir, yes he was. It looks as if she began to wake up and he hit her with the gun a second time." The cop said.

"And the baby?" Derek asked again. "She's pregnant. She's about three months along.

_Oh the baby...please. _

"There is a strong fetal heart rate. So if she wakes up soon, the baby should stay fine." The nurse said, "If you follow me you can see her."

Derek didn't say anything and just followed the nurse. He had walked the halls of the hospital a thousand times before, but they seemed so unfamiliar at the moment. When the nurse stopped he walked into a hospital room, where another nurse whom he recognized was monitoring Meredith. The nurse looked up, "I'll leave you two alone."

As the nurse walked out Derek walked a little closer to her bed. She looked so small and fragile lying under the white covers. Derek saw the stitches on her head, they were so close to her hairline, but luckily they didn't have to shave her head.

"Mer, its me." Derek kissed the other side of her head. She didn't move or flinch. Derek was a doctor, but he felt so hopeless. The love of his life was lying in front of him and she wouldn't wake up. Derek removed his shoes and carefully slid into bed with her. He made sure not to touch the area where she was in pain. He kissed her again as he put his hand lightly on her stomach. "Meredith, I'm here. "

_Nothing _

"Okay Pinkie, I know what happened was scary and hurtful, but please wake up. He's gone and he can't hurt you." Derek kissed her cheek. "Meredith the baby is fine. You know what kind of miracle it is? The baby is healthy and you're going to be alright if you could just wake up. Meri please wake up." He kissed her again. "Meredith I love you. I love you more than anything in this world. You and our baby, you're it for me. I just.." Derek began to tear up, "Meredith, its crucial that you wake up in the next twenty four hours. You're fine right now, but its not good for you or the baby if you don't wake up soon and I can't live without you. If you're not here then I have no reason to be, so please wake up Baby."

Derek rested his head on the pillow and rubbed her stomach as he fell asleep. The fellow Doctors must have come in and out over a few hours, because when Derek woke up, the sun was beginning to go down. He looked at Meredith's face. She was still out the same way she was before he fell asleep. He kissed her cheek. 

_Please wake up Meredith. _

He stroked her hair and a little while later he heard her mumble a few words. "Meredith?"

'Mmmmph Der…." She mumbled and Derek couldn't catch any of it. She began to cry as she moved her head but kept her eyes closed.

"Meredith, you're okay, you're alright." Derek said as he stroked her hair and held her closer. "Its okay shhhh it's okay."

"Derek…" She slowly opened her eyes and realized the pain in her head and began to calmly cry. "Ouch it hurts."

"I know, but you can't take anything." Derek said. "That's the downside of being pregnant."

"Is the baby okay?" Meredith asked weakly.

"The baby is just fine." Derek kissed her cheek. "I love you."

"I love you too." Meredith returned to keeping her eyes closed, because it hurt less. "I want to go back to sleep."

Derek kissed her head. The doctor in the doorway came in and examined Meredith. She fell back to sleep shortly after and Derek stayed with her. He at the moment, didn't want Meredith out of his sight.

_Thank you for letting me keep my Meredith._

_GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA_

Meredith had been in New York General Hospital for four days. The doctors were waiting to release her until she could keep feed down, which was hard with the morning sickness. So they had to be sure that she was better by marking what time of day she got sick, so than they could tell if she was improving.

Christina and Izzie sat and watched as their friend slept. They had gone to see her everyday and tool her presents. The flowers that people sent were all over the room and there were plenty of sweet treats from the bakery.

Meredith slowly woke up, "Why does everyone stare at me until I wake up now?"

"Good morning." Izzie said with a smile.

"How are you feeling?" Christina asked as she handed Meredith some orange juice.

"I still have a headache the size of the Snoopy float in the Thanksgiving Parade." Meredith said as she took a sip. "But that's okay."

Izzie smiled. "So guess what?"

"Yea?" Meredith asked.

"You get to go home today." She answered with a smile. "Christina and I are going to help get you all packed up, then we will take your stuff to your house, then Derek is going to take you home after he finish's with his surgery."

"Thank god. I am so sick of being here." Meredith sat up in the bed. "I just want my stuff and my bed."

"Oh yea, I know that feeling." Christina said. "Although by the time you get to the third kid it becomes more like a resort stay."

Izzie laughed and Meredith smiled. Izzie began packing up some of the gifts that people had brought Meredith.

"Hey there beautiful." Derek said as he walked into the room and kissed her gently on the cheek. "How are you feeling?

"Fine." Meredith took her covers off and Derek helped her stand up. She put her arms around him.

Derek kissed her head, "I better get into surgery. They only need me in there to protect the spine, so we should be out of here soon."

"Okay." Meredith repeated back.

Derek kissed her one last time. "Izzie, Christina are you two sure that you can get it back to the apartment?"

"Yea." Izzie answered, "Derek, Chris and I will be there for a while, but I am going to sleep at Denny's. Unless you need me."

"No, I think we'll be alright." Derek replied back.

A little while later Izzie and Christina left. Meredith sat in the hospital room with the last of her things. Izzie brought her a change of clothing and she put on her yoga pants and a light jacket. She didn't know what made her do it, but she wandered out of the room. Nobody stopped her, because by this point they figured she just needed to get out of the room. She walked passed the nurses station and stared at a door. It was the door to the room where Finn Dandridge died. The door to the room where Finn Dandridge held her captive and put a gun to her head.

_"Finn, please just stop."_

_"If I can't have you then, I am going to kill you."_

_"Stop it please."_

Meredith closed her eyes as she tried to get the images out of her head. But it didn't seem like they were going anywhere. It was closed and she thought about going to look, but she heard a voice behind her.

"Hey, you ready to go home?" Derek asked as he walked up to her. She didn't respond, "Meredith?"

Meredith snapped back into reality, "Oh yea, lets go home."

"Honey, stop looking at the door." Derek turned her around. "You'll feel better if you don't."

"Right." Meredith said as she began to walk with Derek. She held onto his arm, because she was still weak from being in bed so much.

Meredith walked away praying that the images would leave her head, but it just seemed as if they were haunting her.

PLEASE REVIEW


	18. Envelope

Meredith sat in her dark bedroom. She had just woken up from a nap and it was dark again. She sat up and looked out the window to see the city lights. Normally, Meredith loved looking out the window, but tonight it didn't feel right.

"Hey, I brought you dinner." Izzie said as she walked into the room. "Hey Mer?"

Meredith broke her daze. "Yea?"

"I brought you your favorite lasagna ever." Izzie sat the nicely decorated tray in front of her.

"Thanks."

"I figured you would be sick of hospital food by now." Izzie handed her a fork. "I mean seriously how many times can they serve and upside down cup of jello?'

"I know." Meredith said as she began staring out the window."

"Meredith?"

Meredith smiled, "Yea."

"You alright?" Izzie asked as she looked at her friend in a concerned way.

"Yea." Meredith looked out the window again.

"Okay." Izzie responded. She knew Meredith was having a tough time, but she didn't want to hound her. "Okay, well I am going to go to Denny's. Derek is on his way back. He went to get some thing from his apartment, while you were asleep. Are you sure you're alright?"

"Izzie, I am fine." Meredith smiled, "Go see Denny."

"Okay." Izzie hugged her friend then left.

_I need to get out, I'm going to go get the mail. _

Meredith walked down to the lobby of her apartment to get the mail. She grabbed the stuff from the mailbox and got back into the elevator. She couldn't help but be edgy during the ride. The last ride up, Derek carried her so she wasn't focusing on the ride. But this time she was alone.

_Calm down Meredith, it's just an elevator. _

Images of Finn pushing her to the wall appeared. Finally she got off at her floor and took a deep breath.

_Calm Down, you're fine. He's gone. _

Meredith walked back into her apartment and locked it again. She sat her key's on the counter then flipped through the mail. She saw all of the fashion catalogues and bills. She even got a postcard, but then one thing caught her eye. It was a manila envelope

Meredith opened the envelope and noticed it had no return address. When she saw the contents of the envelope, she put her hand to her mouth and gasped. Tears of panic came to her eyes. 

_Oh my God. _

The contents of the envelope fell to the counter and Meredith burst into tears.

"Meredith I'm back I saw that Iz…" Derek said as he walked into the apartment. He stopped when he realized she was crying, "What's wrong baby?"

"I…..He….."She couldn't get the words out. She pointed to the envelop on the counter and put her head in Derek's chest.

Derek went through the mail with his free hand and saw the contents of the manila envelope spread over the counter. He saw multiple pictures of Meredith walking down the street, at the coffee shop, at work and going about her life. Then he saw a sonogram picture dated over a year back. Then the most disturbing picture showed up, one of Meredith sunbathing and in a hotel hot tub in the Hampton's with Izzie. Another series of disturbing pictures was on of Meredith sleeping in her apartment, which he must have taken from the fire escape. Then he came across a note in thick black writing.

_Dear Meredith,  
I have been watching you with love. By the time you get this gift, you will be mine again. I can't wait till I have you in my house and away from that idiot you're dating.  
Love you and watching you as always,  
Finn _

"Oh my God." Derek said. He looked down at Meredith. She was sobbing into his shirt when it hit him.

_Oh my God, the Hampton's trip was a week before her birthday. He has been stalking her for months. _

He held Meredith as she cried. He picked her up into his arms. He took her to the bed room and sat at the end of the bed. He held her as she cried into his shoulder. "He followed me."

"I know."

"He sent the baby picture." Meredith sobbed. "That was my baby."

"I know Mer." Derek said sympathetically. "I know."

"He followed me for months and I didn't even know." Meredith sobbed as she looked into his eyes. "How did I not know Derek? I should have known. I mean he followed me. I knew he was following me to the hospital! I saw his car when I was leaving the apartment, I even saw it out the window before you left for work. But I figured someone else had the car and I was being paranoid. I noticed he followed me in the cab!"

"Shh…" Derek took her back into his shoulder. "It's okay Meri, he's gone. He's dead."

"I know, but he still ruined me. I'm scared." She sobbed. "He sent it the day before he…" Meredith couldn't finish. She sobbed and Derek laid her back on the bed.

Derek laid next to her as she cried. She cried for about two hours straight as Derek held her. Eventually she fell asleep, but Derek couldn't sleep.

_I can't believe this. My Meredith went from happy to miserable in the course of a week. She didn't even know and some of her private moments were stolen from her. This recovery might take a while and I don't know how to fix her._

GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAG

Two weeks after Meredith came home from the hospital, she hadn't returned to her normal self. The morning after discovering the envelope, Meredith went on like nothing was happening. She was tired of people asking her if she was alright. She was sick of people thinking she was so fragile, almost like she might break.

She went into the kitchen to find Derek leaning against the counter, drinking coffee. He looked up. "Hey beautiful."

Meredith smiled. "Hey."

Derek put his arms around her. He knew that things weren't the same and they wouldn't be for a while. But he was bothered that she was acting like nothing happened. He figured denial was normal, but he just wanted her to talk and know that he was there for her. The more he told her the more they fought and Meredith stormed out of the room. So, he stopped telling her. He moved so the she was leaning against the counter. He kissed her then ran his finger along her jaw. "How are you feeling?"

Meredith gave him a glaring eye, "Derek."

"I'm talking pregnancy wise." Derek put his hands up.

"Okay, I'm ok. I just had a little morning sickness. But I'm okay." Meredith said as she wrapped her arms around him.

"I love you." Derek said as he put his head against hers.

"I love you too." Meredith said back.

Derek leaned down and kissed her softly.

Meredith returned the kiss as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "Mmmm."

He put his hands on her waist as the kiss became more passionate. He began walking towards the bedroom as Meredith lifted his shirt over his head. They reached the bedroom and Meredith backed onto the bed as Derek crawled over to her he began kissed her neck as she ran her fingers along his body. She moaned when he reached that spot on her neck that made her instantly arouse. Never before had any man kissed her that way and in that spot. Meredith undid the clasp to Derek's belt. She kissed him on the cheek.

As Derek unbuttoned her jeans she tensed up. She felt his fingers dance down to her clit. As he entered a finger into her, she became nervous. "Derek stop."

"What's wrong?" He looked concerned and pulled his hand away.

Meredith began thinking to herself.

_Meredith calm down. He loves you and he's going to be your husband. You need to calm down. _

"I'm ok." Meredith began kissing him, but Derek pulled away.

"Are you sure?" Derek asked cautiously.

"Yea." Meredith said as she cupped his face.

Derek began kissing her lips again. He ran the kisses up and down her neck. When he moved the kisses to her chest she flinched. He moved the kisses back to her lips as he slid his hand down the front of her pants again. He teases her clit which made her moan. As he slipped a finger in she tensed up again.

"No..oh please stop Derek." Meredith said as she stiffened up.

Derek removed his hand and sat up as he grew more worried. "What's wrong?"

"I just…I don't want to do that." Meredith said as she sat up and buttoned her pants. "Not yet, I just can't."

Derek took a deep breath. "Meredith, it might feel to soon, but I think its time we talk about this."

"No, we are not talking about it." Meredith said sternly as the tears came to her eyes. "There is nothing to discuss."

"Yes there is Meredith." Derek sat next to her. "You're barely eating, you sleep and cry all of the time and we haven't had sex since two nights before this happened. I'm okay without the sex."

"No you're not." Meredith responded. 

"Well it's hard, but I understand that you're going through something." Derek said. "You experienced multiple bad things and I'm willing to wait." Derek said.

"Stop being so understanding!" Meredith shouted as her tears poured out. "You don't understand Derek."

"I know I don't understand and only someone who went through what you did would understand." Derek uttered. "But this isn't healthy for you or the baby."

"Stop making me feel bad about the baby. I just…" Meredith spoke quietly. "I cant' do this right now. I can't have you touch me like you used to."

Derek's eyes grew sad. " Meredith.."

"No Derek, don't you get it?" Meredith asked.

"Get what?"

"Another man touched me Derek." Meredith said in a disgusted tone. "Not only did he stalk me and take away my feeling of security, but he took away my dignity. I feel gross and dirty. No matter how many showers I take, I feel dirty."

"I'm sorry Meredith." Derek said as he stroked her hair, but she inched away.

"Derek, you don't get it still!" Meredith pleaded. "He touched me in places I only wanted you to touch me. Nobody else was supposed to touch me or kiss me, but you. And Fi…He did that. I feel gross and Dirty Derek." Meredith sobbed. "Those areas were only for you and he invaded that. How am I supposed to feel comfortable with you touching me if someone took away?"

"Meredith, you couldn't stop him." Derek said. "He overpowered you."

"I tried Derek." Meredith cried. "But do you get the places where he invaded me? My breasts, my thighs, my lips and my female area. Those areas are yours and yours only. Its not like he kissed my quickly or smacked my ass. He did thinks to me Derek!"

Derek put his arms around Meredith. "Are you afraid that I'm upset with you?"

"No…I just…" Meredith sat out of his arms. "I'm dirty and how am I supposed to let you touch me, when someone else ruined it. I don't feel pretty, sexy or happy. I just feel broken."

"You're not dirty Meredith. It wasn't your fault and you're always going to be the one I love." Derek said. "Yes it bothers me that he touched you, but I just want you to be okay. I can live with everything else, just knowing that you and my baby are alright. I can wait to touch you until you're ready."

"I'm sorry Derek, I just…" Meredith tried to calm down. "I don't know how to deal with it. I just feel he got off easy being dead and now, there is nothing I can do." 

"You didn't get justice." Derek said back. "But Meredith, you lived and the baby lived. Eventually you will be alright with being intimate again. I'm just glad right now that you are alive and you're going to be alright. Meredith, I'm here for you."

Meredith just sat in his arms crying and occasionally saying, "He touched me."

Derek held her through the night. He couldn't help but cry once she fell asleep.

_God please make this pain go away._

_Please review_


	19. Close Your Eyes

The next morning Derek woke up early. He knew that Meredith would sleep in, so he ran a few errands. First he went to Saks Fifth Avenue and bought her a new sundress, then to the coach storepurse section to by her a new purse, then off to bakery where she worked and bought two cinnamon rolls from Miranda. He then went to Starbucks and bought two tall hot chocolates. On the way back to Meredith's apartment he made a few phone calls.

He slipped in the door with the wrapped gifts. He sat them on her bed, so that they would be there when she woke up. He sat on the bed and kissed her lips gently. "Wake up Meredith."

"What?" Meredith groaned.

"Wake up." Derek kissed her again with a small laugh.

Meredith finally sat up. "Fine I'm up."

"Here you go." Derek handed her the hot chocolate.

"Thanks." Meredith said. "What is this for?"

"Open your presents first." Derek said.

Meredith opened the presents one by one. She loved them all and as they were eating their cinnamon rolls she spoke, "What are you up to?"

"Meredith get dressed." Derek said with a smile.

"Why?"

"You and I are spending the day together." Derek answered with a smile.

"What?" Meredith asked again.

"We're going out for the day and then we are going to stay the night somewhere, with no sex." Derek was proud. He took her hand in his, "You better pack an overnght bag."

Meredith let a small smile peak through her face. She put the hot chocolate on the nightstand and opened her arms. She embraced Derek with a hug as she began to cry. "Thanky you."

_He is the best boyfriend any girl could ask for._

"Is this okay?" Derek asked.

"It's perfect." Meredith said as she held on to him.

Meredith got dressed and ready with the stuff that Derek gave her. She walked out into the living room to find Derek sitting on the couch. She walked over behind him and put her arms around him. She kissed his cheek as she said, "I'm ready Boo Boo."

Derek laughed and stood up. "Good, let's get going."

Meredith walked with him to the door. But Derek Stopped and pulled him closer, "Meredith?"

"What?" She asked as she put her arms back around his waist and looked up.

"I'm here for you." Derek said. "When you're ready to talk about it, I'm here. Izzie, Christina and all of us are here to talk to you. You could even go talk to a doctor Meredith."

"Derek." Meredith answered annoyed. "Just let it go please."

Derek put his hands up, "Okay sorry, I am done."

"Good." Meredith said as she kissed him again.

"Let's go." Derek said as he put his hand on the small of her back and followed her out of the door.

As they stood in elevator Derek noticed that Meredith held on to him. She kept her arms around his waist and laid her head against the edge of his shoulder. It wasn't like she was acting scared, but Derek could just tell.

The elevator doors opened and Meredith stepped off. Derek caught up and took a hold of her hand. He opened the car door for her, and then went around the other side. He got in and looked at Meredith, "You look great."

"Thanks." Meredith said with a smile. "You don't look so bad yourself."

Derek laughed. He enjoyed her smile and missed it. She had rarely smiled since everything happened and he soaked it up whenever she did it. He watched she ran her hand over her stomach, flattening the dress over it, to see the slight baby bump.

"Derek?" Meredith asked.

"Do I look pregnant yet?" Meredith asked.

Derek smiled. "A little bit."

"What about now?" Meredith said as she lifted her dress up above her stomach.  
"Meredith!" Derek said as he looked over in disbelief.

"What?!" She asked with a giggle.

"Put your dress down." Derek laughed. "You know that's not very young lady like."

Meredith laughed, "Well I'm not so young anymore."

"Oh you're so old Meredith." Derek said sarcastically, "At the age of twenty six you are barely making it without a walker."

"Shut up." She hit him playfully.

"You do have a baby belly Meredith." Derek smiled as he pulled up to the stoplight. "Its small, but I can tell. Of course you have such a small body frame, there was no doubt you would start showing early."

Meredith smiled. "Well I won't be so small by the end of the pregnancy."

Derek pulled up into a parking spot. "We just have to walk to the end of the block."

I hope she likes where I'm taking her. I was hoping it would temporarily take her mind off of the other things.

"Alright." Meredith said as she got out of the car.

Derek held her hand as they walked to the street corner. "We're going to that store right over there." He said as he pointed to a store with pastel writing on the sign that said, 'The Baby Haven.'

"Derek." Meredith said with a smile.

He led her across the street and opened the door. "Meredith?"

"Yea?" She said as she looked around the baby store in amazement.

"Would you like to buy a crib?" Derek asked as he squeezed her hand.

Meredith looked up and smiled. "Yes."

A saleswoman walked up and greeted them. "Hi Welcome to The Baby Haven. My name is Sheila. Is there anything I can help you with?"

"Well, we are looking for a crib." Derek said.

"Well you've come to the right place." Sheila said with a smile. She looked at Meredith, "So are you the expecting mother."

"Yes I am." Meredith said with a smile.

"Well, let me see what I have." Sheila said as she led them through a store. "So how far along are you?"

"Almost four months." Meredith answered.

Sheila led them through the store until they finally settled on a crib. It took them a little while, because they spent twenty minutes debating over the wood finish, but they setteled on white.

"Alright, well the crib will be delivered to your apartment on next Friday." Sheila said. "It was nice to meet you and I hope you come back."

"Thank you." Derek and Meredith said as they left the store.

Meredith and Derek went back to the car. "Thank you Derek."

"You're welcome." Derek said.

Derek drove as Meredith fell asleep in the car. They pulled up to a small ocean beach house. "Meredith we're here."

Meredith sat up and smiled. "The beach."

"Yes we are at the beach." Derek got out and grabbed their bags from the car. "It's my f  
amilies beach house. I called my mother and we have it to ourselves this weekend."

"Wow." Meredith said as she followed him inside. "Its beautiful."

"I would say thank you, but my mother and my sisters decorated it." Derek said as he walked up the stairs and into a bedroom. We can stay in this room.

Meredith looked around. In her eyes, the room looked more like a Pottery Barn catalogue.

"Well you ready to eat?" Derek asked.

He took her to a restaurant over looking the water, then to an ice cream store down the street. Derek suggested they make a quick trip to the store so that they had a few things to eat and drink in the beach house. Once they got back to the beach house they sat at the counter.

"Let's go sit on the beach." Meredith suggested as she looked out the window over the kitchen sink. "It seems so relaxing."

"We can do that." Derek said as he sat down his glass of water and took her by the hand. He locked up the beach house and handed it to Meredith. "I might lose them, if you don't hold on to them."

Meredith laughed and put them in the pocket of her cream sweater. The temperature had dropped earlier, so she put it on over her new dress. "I think you're right.

The walked down onto the sand and Derek sat down. Meredith laid back onto him, between his legs. "This is so serene."

"It's perfect." Derek said. He could tell Meredith was thinking again. She was thinking about something that was bothering her because she began to play the hem of her sweater. "Meredith."

"Yes?"

Derek decided not to ask her but instead he leaned down and kissed her long and hard. He stopped when she realized she was crying. "Baby what's wrong?"

"I'm sorry its just…" Meredith stopped.

"Just what?" Derek asked.

"When I close my eyes, even to kiss you I see him. Every single time I close my eyes to kiss you or when I go to bed and close my eyes. He's there, his face and what he did is all there." Meredith wiped away her tears.

"Baby…" He tried to calm her down as her tears broke through. He hated to see her cry and he had seen it a lot lately. He couldn't even imagine what it would be like when her hormones came into effect.

_I need to do something about this. _

"Derek I can't even kiss you without him popping into my head. I just close my eyes and he's still there." Meredith started to calm down, but she was still scared.

"Meredith baby, how about you try and kiss with your eyes open for a little while." Derek kissed her cheek, "That way you know it is me kissing you."

"That's weird." Meredith said rolling her eyes.

"Just until you feel comfortable again." Derek said. "Once you see that it is me and only me kissing you then will close your eyes. But Meredith?"

"Yes?"

"I'm the only one going to kiss you like this ever again." He leaned down and cupped her jaw and began kissing her long and hard. "So please don't worry."

Meredith smiled. "I guess I could try it, but keep your eyes closed like normal. We don't nee both of us looking like idiots."

Derek laughed and kissed her again. He kissed her long and hard.

Meredith kept her eyes open as Derek kissed her, but halfway through their magical make out session she let her eyes fall shut.

I just needed to know he was there.

Derek pulled away and smiled. "Better?"

"Much." Meredith said with a smile. "Let's go to bed."

That night, Meredith slept safely in Derek's arms. There were no visions of Finn when she closed her eyes. She felt calm and relaxed. For the first time in nights, she was nightmare free. She knew it wasn't the complete end of the healing process, but she had taken a big step that night.

_12_


	20. Figuring Stuff Out

Meredith woke up the next morning with a feeling, a really good feeling. Meredith liked and missed this feeling. She looked over at Derek who was still asleep.

_I have to have him now. _

Meredith began kissing Derek's neck. "Wake up."

Derek's eyes fluttered, "Go back to bed Meredith."

"Why?" 

"Because I want to sleep, but I want you to lay with me." Derek said.

"Mmm….what I want to do could involve lying down." She whispered seductively as she began to lower his boxers. She pulled the covers off of him and took her top off. She began kissing his neck as he moaned. "That's right."

"Meredith…No..." He lifted his pants and pulled her off of him. "No sex."

"Why not?" She giggled and went to stroke him, but he stopped her with his hand.

"None."

"And I asked why not." Meredith stated.

"Because, we are not having sex. No sex until you talk about what happened." Derek said as he sat up.

"Excuse me." Meredith crossed her arms.

"You heard me. You had trouble even kissing me and now you again are acting like nothing happened." Derek reached for her arms, but she pulled away. "Meredith."

"No sex?" Meredith asked.

"No sex." Derek knew it would be hard, but he was determined to stick by what he said.

"Are you seriously going to do this?" Meredith became pissed. "What happened to leaving me alone about this?"

"Meredith, I was going to stop asking. But you need to talk to someone." Derek said. "I'm worried about you."

"This trip was about enjoying ourselves." Meredith said as she became more annoyed.

"This trip was also about no sex." Derek repeated.

"We talked and I closed my eyes." Meredith begged. She leaned down, "Now I want sex."

"Meredith…"

"I want passionate, kinky, dirty sex Derek." Meredith said as she bit his lip. Derek pushed her off of him again. "Do you get that I am trying to get sex? I am going to give you sex."

"No Meredith, I am serious. I don't care how much you beg or turn me on. No sex." Derek said.

"You realize that if this is really over me not talking, then we are officially fighting." Meredith said. "I talked last night babe."

"You need to talk more." Derek said.

"Fine." Meredith stood up and acted like she was okay with it.

"I'm glad you see it my way." Derek said as he crossed his arms.

"Yea." Meredith said with a smile.

"Care to talk now?" Derek asked.

_This was so easy, she is going to open up. _

"Nope." She got back on the bed. "I'm a little hot." She began running her hands all over her body until she reached her panties. She stuck her hand down there and began rubbing.

"It's not working." Derek said quickly.

"Fine." Meredith said as she stood up.

_Damn it. _

"Unless you want to talk." Derek said with his McDreamy ego smile.

"We're not speaking." Meredith replied as she stood up and walked into the restroom.

_I'll get him to break sooner or later._

Meredith stood in the restroom. She looked in the mirror at herself. She had slept well the night before, but she still looked tired. She went weeks without sleeping a full night. Derek had been there for her. He had been great, but she needed him.

_I don't need to talk _

Meredith put some lip gloss then walked back into the bedroom.

"Ready to talk?" Derek asked with a cocky smile. 

Meredith walked to her bag and grabbed her magazine, then left the room.

"Meredith where are you going?" Derek asked suddenly realizing that she still didn't have a top on. He got up from the bed and followed her to the hallway. "Meredith, just come talk please." He stopped for a moment hoping that she would stop.

Meredith rolled her eyes and went to the back door. She opened it and walked up to the beach.

"Meredith!" Derek shouted as he ran over to her. "What the hell are you doing?"

Meredith didn't say anything. Instead, she sat down and opened her book.

"Meredith, get inside." Derek said as he crossed his arms with a smile.

Meredith looked up then back to her book.

_Two can play this game. He isn't going to win. _

"Meredith are you listening to me?" Derek asked again. "I said go inside."

Meredith looked up from her book, "In case you haven't noticed, I am not a child. You don't get to tell me what to do."

"I thought you liked it when I get bossy." Derek said as he scooped her into his arms.

"Derek stop it." Meredith said. "You're so annoying."

"I'm annoying?" Derek asked. He began kissing her neck as he walked up the steps on the beach house. "Is this annoying?"

"I don't know. Do I get sex?" Meredith moaned.

"Nope." Derek said as he lowered her to the ground.

"Then yes, it is very annoying." Meredith responded. Meredith walked back into the bedroom and went to her overnight bag. "I want to go home."

"Meredith if you just…" Derek spoke until she cut him off.

"Stop it Derek, seriously." Meredith shouted. "I'm not going to talk about it. I'm so sick and tired of being asked by everyone about it."

"Meredith.."

"No, lets just go home." Meredith walked into the bathroom with her stuff and shut the door.

"Fine." Derek said softly.

_I can't give in to her yet. _

Derek packed up the car, while Meredith finished getting ready. As they drove Derek spoke, "Do you want to stop and get breakfast?"

"Nope." Meredith spoke.

"Meredith you haven't eaten yet." Derek was just worried about her. "You need to eat."

"I will when I get home." Meredith spoke. "Let me worry about it. I'm a big girl."

"I know you are a big girl Meredith." Derek said. "But you experienced something traumatic. You need to be able to talk about it, before you jump into things. I mean just a few days you cried when I tried to shower with you."

"I thought this was about me eating breakfast." Meredith stated.

"It's about a lot more than that." Derek replied. "Meredith just talk about it."

"No."

"Yes."

"Derek shut up!" Meredith shouted. "I'm not speaking to you."

"You said that earlier." Derek commented.

_She's so cute when she's annoyed. _

"Well, I'm not now." Meredith replied.

"Oh you just spoke." Derek joked.

"Starting now!" Meredith said as she looked out the window.

The rest of the ride was quiet. Derek couldn't help but let a laugh out here and there. "Meredith come on."

Meredith said nothing.

He put his hand on her thigh and she pushed it off. "Meredith just talk. It will make you feel so much better once you can talk about it."

Meredith didn't say anything. She just pulled out her lip gloss and reapplied.

"You look very pretty." Derek commented with a smile. "Even when you're pouting."

Meredith glared at him then looked straight ahead.

_I wish he would just leave me alone. I don't want to talk about it. _

Derek pulled up to her apartment building. Before he could open his door, Meredith grabbed her bag and purse from the backseat and got out of the car. "Meredith…"

She leaned into the window. " I had a great weekend."

Derek smiled. "Well…"

"I suggest you stay at your place tonight." She said as she turned around and walked inside.

"Meredith!" Derek shouted, but she had walked into the building. He drove off, while thinking got himself.

_I'll give her some time to think. She needs to think about talking. _

Meredith went inside her apartment. Nobody was there, so she walked and put her bags in her room. She sat on her bed, when the tears began to fall.

_Damn it._

Derek sat in his empty apartment. He worried about Meredith and whenever he called her cell phone she wasn't answering. He knew that this was something they both would get passed together. But right now, she needed to talk. He needed to make her talk.

Meredith sat in her bed thinking to herself.

_Why can't I just do things my way? _

She pulled the covers over her body and closed her eyes. Suddenly she felt the bed move and a body press behind her. She calmly turned her head to find Derek right there. "What are you doing here?"

"I couldn't not, show up here." Derek said as he kissed her head and sat up. "Meredith I'm sorry…"

Meredith began to cry, "You can't touch me can you?"

"What?"

"It bothers you doesn't it." Meredith said quietly, "The fact that I was touched by another man. I knew it."

"No Meredith." Derek said. " I just…Meredith don't cry."

Meredith stood up and walked into the restroom. She shut the door and started the shower.

Derek stood up and went to the bathroom door. "Meredith let me in."

"Go away." Meredith yelled. She got undressed and stepped into the shower.

"Meredith…Damn it." Derek turned the knob, but it was locked.

Derek went to Meredith's bedside drawer and scrambled for something to open the bathroom door with. He found a bobby-pin and went back to the door. He put it into the lock and finally the door opened. He pulled the shower curtain back to find Meredith washing herself with soap.

"Derek!" Meredith jumped when she saw him. "Get out!"

"Sorry, but I just needed to check if you were okay." Derek said.

"You thought I came in here to hurt myself?" Meredith asked stunned. "I can't believe you. Stop asking if I am okay and stop following me everywhere!"

"Meredith…" 

"No Derek! I don't want to talk. I don't plan on talking about it today, tomorrow or in fifty years. Not right now." Meredith put the soap on the ledge. "I need to know if you are going to drop this."

"I don't think it is an issue that can be dropped right now." Derek

"Yes it can and it's very easy, because all you have to do is stop talking about it!" Meredith grabbed the shampoo and began lathering it into her hair.

"Fine! What do you want Meredith?" Derek shouted.

"I want to move on. I want to enjoy being pregnant." Meredith put her hands down to her side when the shampoo was out of her hair. "I haven't been able to and I'm missing out."

"No you're…"

"Yes I am Derek. I have to deal with what happened and I get that. But I don't think you understand that right now, my life is hell." Meredith said sadly. "You can't even touch me."

"Meredith, you know damn well that I can. I was ready to touch you and you weren't ready for it." Derek responded. "You can't just act like it never happened."

"Derek let me deal with this for once! I can't get any better if I'm constantly reminded of it!" Meredith shouted. She shut the shower curtain, "Now please let me have my shower."

Derek sat there for a few minutes, looking at the shower curtain. He then pulled the curtain back to find Meredith rinsing her skin. He stepped in behind her.

"Derek what are you doing!?" Meredith shouted. "You are fully clothed."

He picked her up and carefully stepped out.

"Derek!" Meredith yelled. "What are you doing?"

He carried Meredith over to the bed and laid her down. He got on all fours over her body. He bent his head down and began kissing her neck.

"Derek…what are you doing." Meredith moaned.

"You wanted sex, so you're getting sex." Derek said as he unzipped his pants and pulled his manhood through the opening of his boxer briefs. He kissed her lips and took her breast into his mouth.

"Derek…no…you…said.." Meredith moaned. "You…said…no."

"I did, but I can't get you to talk." Derek said as he nibbled back up to her lips. "So I'm just going to have sex…"

"Ok…okay." Meredith moaned as she roamed her hands down his body. She lightly touched his erection. "Please Derek."

As he entered a finger into her she burst into tears. "Damn it Meredith."

Meredith sobbed, "I'm sorry, please keep going. "

"No." Derek sat up and waited for his erection to settle. "This can't happen." 

"I told you to finish." Meredith said.

"Finish?" Derek said. "Meredith you're going to see a psychiatrist."

"No, please just come on." Meredith cried. "I want to have sex."

"No you don't." Derek said as he took her into his arms. "We're taking you to talk to someone."

"No." Meredith wiped away her tears. "I'm fine."

"You're depressed!" Derek raised his voice. "Meredith, you'll be able to enjoy this pregnancy and see a psychiatrist."

"But Derek…"

"No…you and I are going to make out. But you can't have sex." Derek said sadly. "At least I can't do that thing to you for a while. The finger thing."

"I'm sorry." Meredith said as her tears slowed down.

"Don't be." Derek said. "You're getting better, I can already tell."

"Really?" Meredith said.

"Yes, but Meredith will you make me two promises?"

"Yes."

"Will you go see a psychiatrist willingly? And will you promise to take better care of yourself for you, me and the baby?" He asked as he took her hand in his.

_Ugh…I swear. _

"I promise and I promise." She said with a smile. "Derek?"

"Yes baby?" Derek said as he kissed her lips.

"Will you get in the shower with me so I can finish?" Meredith said with a smile.

"Yes." He kissed her belly. "Come on."

He led her to the restroom and finished removing his clothing. They held each other in the shower and for the first time in a while, they knew everything was going to be just fine.


	21. Derek's Announcement

Meredith had gone to the Psychiatrist twice since she and Derek had their talk. Things with her and Derek had been running a little more smoothly too. Meredith began talking to him more about what happened and she told him when she couldn't talk about it.

"Hey you." Derek said as Meredith got into the car. He had picked Meredith up from the bakery on his ride back from the hospital.

"Hey." She got into the car and kissed him quickly. "How was your day?"

"It was alright, but I lost a patient." Derek said.

"I'm sorry." Meredith replied sweetly.

"How was your day?" Derek asked as he began to drive.

"It was good. I went on my lunch break to the psychiatrist." Meredith said.

"How was that?" Derek asked. "Did you eat lunch?"

"Fine and yes I ate lunch." Meredith said. 

"Good, show how is the baby?" Derek asked as he put his hand against her stomach.

"Good I think." Meredith replied with a smile. "The stomach got slightly bigger in the past two weeks."

Derek smiled, "Yes it did."

As they pulled up to Meredith's apartment they walked inside. Meredith sat her bag on the counter and sat at the table, "I am so tired."

"Meredith can we talk?" Derek asked. 

"Sure, is something wrong?" Meredith asked.

"Not really, I just want to ask you something." Derek asked.

"Okay."

"Well before I met you, I applied for a program to go to Africa and work in a small American made hospital. I didn't hear back until this morning and I got it." Derek said nervously.

"Baby that's great!" Meredith said as she jumped up and hugged him.

"Well here is the problem. It would set me to leave in about five months. I would leave a few days after the baby is born." Derek said. "I'm going to tell them I can't go."

"Oh." Meredith 

"Yea."

"Derek, don't let me stop you. I think you should go." Meredith insisted. You've mentioned doing this to me before, as far as wanting to. Now you have your chance and I think you should take it. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity."

Derek looked at her and put his arms around her. "I don't want to leave you alone with a newborn baby and I think the baby would forget who I am by the end of the time I get back."

Meredith frowned, "How long would you be gone?"

"Six Months."

Meredith felt her shoulders drop. She knew that she wanted to be supportive and he really wanted this opportunity, "I won't let the baby forget you."

"Meredith, I can stay. It's going to be hard on me too." Derek said.

"I know, but this is something you talk about. You have always hinted that you want to go to Africa and do something to help." Meredith pulled him closer. "You should do it."

"Are you sure? Derek asked. "Because once I get there, I can't come back."

"Its okay." Meredith said. "You want to do this. It's going to be hard, but its something you shouldn't pass up."

"Okay then. I'm going to it." Derek said. He kissed her forehead. "You're going to have to take extra care of that baby."

"I will" Meredith smelled his shirt. "You smell good."

"You smell great too." Derek said as he took a whiff of her hair. "Are you going to miss me?"

"Too much." Meredith responded. "But I'll be fine. I have Izzie, Miranda, Christina, Callie, Alex and George."

"Well and my mother and sisters will be here to help you out. They are going to want to come over a lot." Derek said. "It's going to be fine. I just don't want anyone helping you out with sex."

Meredith laughed, "I forgot about the sex."

"There is always phone sex." Derek said with a grin.

"Okay." Meredith laughed. "You can go if you promise to be careful."

"I will, I have too much to come home to." Derek pulled her towards the bedroom. We still have a little over five months until I have to go."

"This is true." Meredith said as she kissed him.

He led her onto the bed. "I love you."

"I love you too." Meredith said as she lifted his shirt over his head. She took a deep breath. "We're going to be fine."

Derek kissed his as he undid the rope belt around her waist, "We'll be great. I have you and a baby to come home to."

Meredith felt a tear come down her cheek, "We'll be here."

_Right here waiting…_


	22. It's A

Today was an important day. Today was the day where Meredith and Derek discovered the sex of their new baby. Their sex life had been back in full force and Meredith's stomach had noticeably grown.

"Meredith, please answer your phone." Derek said as he walked out of the hospital. Suddenly he heard a voice on the other end.

"Hey." Meredith answered. "Are you still meeting me at the doctors?"

"Yes." Derek said as he walked towards the OBGYN office. They had made the choice to use a different OBGYN, since the traumatic event at the hospital. Although, Meredith still planned on delivering the baby at New York General. "I'm almost there."

"Good." Meredith sighed with relief. "I'll see you in a few."

"Okay, bye babe."

"Bye." Meredith hung up the phone and signed in to her appointment.

A few minutes later, Derek walked in the doors off the quiet office. His eyes did a scan of the room and he saw Meredith sitting in a chair reading Newsweek. He walked over and sat in the chair next to her. He leaned over and kissed her. "Hey."

"Hey." She said looking back at the magazine.

"What's wrong Mer?" Derek asked concerned.

"What?" Meredith asked. "Oh, nothing I was just reading an article. It's over now." She put the magazine down. "How is work going?"

"Work is good. It's been pretty busy, but I was able to break away long enough to come here and then take you to lunch after."

Meredith smiled, "Lunch? I could do lunch."

Derek chuckled, "I bet you could."

"Meredith." The nurse came out to the door.

Meredith and Derek stood up and followed the nurse into an exam room.

"Here is a hospital gown. Dr. Bolton will be in here soon." The nurse smiled and left.

Meredith unfolded the gown and removed her shirt. She gasped as she felt Derek's hands on her waist. He began kissing down her neck. "Derek, this is not the place."

"It could be the place." He lowered his hands to her jeans and unbuttoned them. He slid his hand down and removed the jeans. "Just relax baby."

"Oh…Derek we can't." Meredith moaned. Suddenly, he thrusted a finger into her as she gasped in pleasure. "Derek."

"Meredith…you're so wet." Derek massaged her clit while trailing kisses around the back of her neck. "I love you."

"I…love you too." Meredith moaned as her eyes fell shut. "Derek…I …gown."

"Meredith, we're having a baby." Derek spoke. "I'm going to miss you."

"I'm….Oh Derek….miss…too." She was becoming incoherent as his hands explored her body.

He slipped his fingers out and handed her the gown. "The doctor is going to be in soon.

"What?!" Meredith gasped. "You just left me hanging."

"No, I left you dripping." Derek said with a pleased smile.

Meredith hit his arm and slid her jeans on... "Ass."

Derek laughed. "Put the gown on and come sit on my lap."

Meredith slid the gown on over her small pregnant body and walked over to Derek. "You owe me later."

"Do I?" He asked. He pulled her onto his lap. "You're beautiful Meredith."

"You're sexy." Meredith wrapped her arms around Derek's neck. "I want ice cream."

Derek chuckled and looked up at her. "You do?"

"The baby wants it." Meredith said as she rested her head against his. "Strawberry to be exact."

"Oh…well I guess we'll have to do something about that." Derek pushed a strand of hair out of Meredith's face.

"Oh and can we get hot dogs for lunch?" Meredith asked.

"Whatever you want." His hand his hand up and down her back.

"So, do you know what all of the equipment is in here?" Meredith looked around.

"I do in fact." Suddenly they heard a knock at the door and the doctor walked in.

"Hi Meredith, I'm Dr. Bolton." She tuck out her hand to Meredith.

Meredith shook her hand. "Nice to meet you."

"You must be the father." Dr. Bolton said as she extended her hand to Derek.

"Yes I am. I'm Dr. Derek Shepherd." Derek shook her hand and helped Meredith off of his lap.

"Well Meredith, if you don't mind. I would like to have you lay back on the exam table. I'm going to do a minor checkup. Then after that if you would like, I can tell you the gender of the fetus." The doctor said as she washed her hands.

"Alright." Meredith got up on the exam table.

The doctor checked her blood pressure and then began monitoring the baby. "Well the mother and fetal heartbeat is healthy and going strong."

"That's good Meredith." Derek kissed her head.

"Alright, now this is going to be a little cold Meredith." Dr. Bolton commented as she began to perform the sonogram on Meredith's stomach. "Alright, the baby is looking great."

"Aww good." Meredith said with a smile.

"So, can you see what the sex is?" Derek asked anxiously.

"Well, let me see." Dr. Bolton looked around. "Well congratulations are in order."

"Really?" Meredith asked. She lightly squeezed Derek's hand.

"Well, you two are going to be proud parents of a baby girl." The doctor said with a smile on her face.

"A girl." Meredith said with a smile.

Derek kissed Meredith out of celebration. "We're having a girl."

The rest of the doctor's appointment was a blur and they smiled the whole ride to the hotdog stand. They bought their food, then sat down on a bench in Central Par. Finally Meredith spoke. "Wow, we're having a baby."

"A little girl baby." Derek said with a smile. "I've always wanted a little girl."

Meredith smiled. "You're going to be great with her."

"I hope so. I'm going to be very protective." Derek said with a smile. He watched as Meredith took a bite of her hot dog. "Mer?"

"Yea?" She looked up.

"What are we going to name our little cupcake?" Derek asked with a smile.

"Cupcake? I like that." Meredith said. She thought to herself. "Well, what about Lorraine?"

Derek scrunched his nose. "No way, sorry Meredith but I do not like it."

"Okay, well what ideas do you have?" Meredith asked. "I mean I think we should name her something really strong, but girly. She is going to be our princess after all."

Derek laughed. "I agree. Well what about Savannah?"

"No, I babysat for a little girl named Savannah and I swear she carried a freaking pitchfork." Meredith wiped her mouth. "Okay, what about the names Madison, Charlotte, Hailey, and Brogan or like Grace."

"Those are all gentle names. I kind of like Madison or Grace the most. I'm not a fan of Brogan." Derek said as he took a sip of his soda.

"Madison Shepherd. Okay, well what about Madison, Emma or Riley." Meredith asked.  
"I have a niece named Emma, you know that."

"Oh yea, well what about Madison or Grace? Which one do you like the best, because we talked about those two at the beginning of the pregnancy too." Meredith said.

"I like Madison. It sounds so sweet and gentle." Derek commented. "It sounds like she could be a daddy's girl."

Meredith smiled. "She will love her daddy."

"I just hope she doesn't resent me for being gone in Africa." Derek said. "I just don't want to miss out on connecting with her and I know that is going to happen."

"Derek, I won't let her forget. In fact, I will make sure that she knows who you are." Meredith put her hand on his. "It will be fine. You can call and I will hold the phone to her ear. I mean I know you won't be able to call every day, but it will be fine."

"Are you sure you are still alright with this?" Derek wanted to ensure that Meredith could handle it.

"Yes, you are doing something that you have always wanted to do. It just happened to come at a difficult time, but I will make sure that Madison is alright." Meredith said.

"You just called her Madison." Derek smiled.

"It just slipped out." Meredith smiled along with him.

"So her name is officially Madison." Derek said. "We need a middle name."

"Madison Riley?" Meredith asked. "Or maybe Madison Claire, Madison Grace, and Madison Hailey?"

"Well how about Madison Riley or Madison Hailey? You pick, because I'm a fan of both of them." Derek said with a smile.

"Really?"

"Yea, it is your choice because you have to push her out?" Derek smiled. "You have to endure all the pain."

"Oh you're so sweet." Meredith rolled her eyes. "Well let's name her Madison Hailey Shepherd."

"Madison Hailey, she has a name." Derek walked over and helped Meredith up. "We're having a little girl and her name is Madison."

"Madison." Meredith loved the way it sounded. She couldn't stop saying it over in her head. "I like it."

"I do too." Derek kissed her sweetly. "You ready?"

"Yea, let's go." Meredith stood up. "Okay."

As they walked down the streets of New York, they held hands. Derek leaned down and whispered in Meredith's ear. "I love you and my cupcake, Madison very much."

Meredith looked up and kissed his cheek. "We love you too."

GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA

"Have a good day Mr. Hanson." Meredith said as she handed the old man a small bag of cookies.

"Goodbye pretty lady." He said as he waved. He left the bakery with a smile on his face. He was one of the regulars and had a way of making Meredith smile.

"Hey I didn't know Mr. Hanson was here." Izzie said as she walked in with Christina following.

"He came in real quickly. He was on his way to see his new granddaughter." Meredith replied as she restocked the iced pink cookies.

"Aww."

"Hey, so have you and Derek decided on a name for the baby girl?" Christina asked. 

"Madison Hailey Shepherd." Meredith sat as she wiped her hands up and closed the display case.

"Um Meredith." Izzie said.

"Have you forgotten about the name of Derek's ex evil wife?" Christina responded. "Addison?"

Meredith paused for a moment. "Well you know what?"

"What?" Izzie asked.

"Derek and I like the name Madison, not Addison. But we aren't going to let someone we don't like stop us from naming her that. I mean it's a different name. She is Maddie, our cupcake." Meredith looked at the girls.

"Alright." Izzie said. "I love the name."

"It is very beautiful." Christina said.

"Thank you." Meredith said. "Derek already nicknamed her cupcake though. I've been calling her Maddie Lou."

"She is going to be adorable; you're kid won a genetic lottery." Christina laughed.

"Hey, um Meredith can I tell you something?" Izzie asked.

"Sure."

"Denny asked me to move in with him." Izzie said nervously.

"Oh, well you should if you want to Izzie." Meredith thought. "You should do what you want to do."

"Okay, well I'm going to tell him yes." Izzie smiled. "I'll give you time to figure things out before I just move out."

"Okay. Congrats Izzie." Meredith hugged her friend.

"Oh the muffins need to come out of the oven." Izzie noticed.

"I'll get them." Meredith left the room, to go pull the muffins out.

Christina waited to make sure Meredith was around the corner. When she was sure that Meredith was gone, she looked at Izzie. "So, when is she finding out that Shepherd bought them a house?"

Izzie smiled. "Soon, you don't think she's going to figure it out do you?"

"No way in hell." Christina responded. "I'm just glad he bought her a house that is still in the city and close to me. She is going to flip when she finds out."

"Yes she is." Izzie said with a smile.

PLEASE REVIEW


	23. The Event

Derek came in to Meredith's apartment. That evening they were due at a Hospital Gala at the Four Seasons. He looked around and didn't see his Meredith. He walked to the bedroom and smiled at what he saw. Meredith was lying on her back with her hand on her stomach. Derek loved the way she looked while pregnant. Her stomach looked more like she had swallowed a basketball. It looked like she had fallen asleep reading, _What to Expect When You Are Expecting. _

Derek walked over and slid next to her on the bed. He heard her mumble something, "What baby?" He said as he gently kissed the side of her mouth.

"What are you doing home so early?" She asked while she kept her eyes closed.

"Baby, its five thirty." Derek laughed. "The Gala is tonight and you're my hot date."

"Oh." Meredith slowly opened her eyes. "I missed you today."

"I missed you too. I haven't seen you since yesterday morning." Derek commented.

Meredith's face got sad. "You work a lot."

"I know, but it is part of the job." Derek said. 

"I know." Meredith sighed. "I'm just sad, because you're going to be gone for a while and I just want to spend time with you."

"I know, but I'm taking two weeks off around the time Madison is born." Derek said.

"But I'm just going to miss you a lot." Meredith began to cry. Her hormones had been driving her crazy.

"Don't cry Meredith." Derek put his arms around her and pulled her closer. "We'll be okay."

"I'm going to worry about you and miss you." Meredith sobbed.

"Meredith, I'm going to tell them I'm not going." Derek said. "I can't leave you upset like this."

"No, don't do that Derek." Meredith wiped away her tears. "You want this and I won't be able to live with myself if you give it up."

"Meredith, I won't be mad if you need me to stay." Derek said. "It's going to be really hard on me too, because I won't be here with you and my baby."

"Our baby."

"Yes she is going to be our baby." Derek smiled. "She's my cupcake."

"I'm sorry I'm so emotional." Meredith said, still crying.

"I find it cute." Derek kissed her cheek.

"Cute?" Meredith sat up. "I'm not a baby." 

"Meredith?" Derek questioned.

"What?" She asked annoyed.

"It's hormones and I love you for them. You want to know why?" Derek asked.

"Why?"

"You are having my baby and you are experiencing hormonal changes." Derek smiled. "I love it because we caused this together and I will do anything I can to make you more comfortable."

Meredith stared at him for a moment before bursting into tears. "You're so sweet."

"Oh Meredith." Derek laughed and pulled her closer to him.

Meredith sat up. "I'm okay."

"You're okay." Derek smiled. "Meredith?"

"Yes?"

"I have a surprise for you." Derek responded. "But we have to take a small trip."

"Derek, I'm tired and I look horrible." Meredith whined. "Besides, we have to get ready to go to the Hospital Gala."

"You look beautiful and I promise that you will be glad you came." Derek stood up and reached out his hand to help her up from the queen-sized bed. "The Gala doesn't start until eight pm."

"Fine, but tonight I want ice cream." Meredith said as she took his hand. "Oh and French fries, but not too greasy."

"Deal." Derek pulled her closer. "Grab you're sweater it's a bit chilly out."

Meredith stood up and walked into the closet. She grabbed a sweater and came out. "I swear my closet has been taken over by maternity clothing."

Derek laughed and held up an eye mask. "Come here so I can put this on."

"Derek, we don't have time for silliness. We have a Gala to get ready for." Meredith said.

"The sooner you come and put this on, the sooner we can get going." Derek smiled.

"Fine." Meredith allowed Derek to put the eye mask on. "Lets go."

"Alright." Derek carefully led Meredith out of the apartment and down to the car. "Be careful."

Meredith stepped up into her seat with Derek's assistance. She heard Derek's door close. "Where are we going?"

"You'll see when we get there." Derek asked. "It's a surprise."

"You know that I could be doing my hair for the Gala or we could be having sex." Meredith commented.

Derek looked over at her. He could tell that wearing a mask was driving her crazy. "We could have sex after the Gala, we have a room booked."

"You were planning on taking me to a hotel?" Meredith asked. "You are a dirty boy."

"Will it work?" Derek smiled.

"If I'm not too tired then you will get sex." Meredith said back.

"Goodie." Derek laughed.

"Are we there yet?" Meredith asked.

"Almost, but we're stuck at a stoplight." Derek squeezed her hand.

"I still have to do my makeup and shave my legs." Meredith scratched her head. "Which I may need help with soon seeing that I can barely bend over as it is."

"Oh I would have to disagree with you there." Derek said in a dirty tone.

"Pervert."

"You love it." Derek stopped the car. "We're here, but I'll help you out. Don't take the mask off yet."

Derek came around and opened Meredith's door. He gently led her hand out of the car. "Okay just trust me and don't trip."

Meredith giggled. "Are we still in the city? It's not as loud."

"Well, you'll find out in a second." Derek put his hands on her waist and made sure she was positioned perfectly. "You ready?"

"Yes?" Meredith said not sure of what to expect.

"Okay Baby, welcome home." He moved the eye mask off of her eyes. He kissed her neck. "So?"

Meredith was still confused, "What is it?"

"It's a house Meredith." Derek kissed the back of her head.

"I can see that it is a house. Why are we here?" Meredith inquired.

"This is our new home Meri." Derek rested his neck on her shoulder and put his arms around her stomach. "Maddie needs a home."

Meredith smiled. "You want to buy it?"

Derek held up the keys. "I already did."

Meredith smiled. "Its our home?"

"Yes Baby." Derek kissed her cheek.

"Thank you." Meredith turned around in his arms. She squealed for joy. "Derek!"

"Do you like it?" Derek asked.

"I love it." Meredith smiled. She put her hand on his face and kissed him. "I love it."

"Good." Derek kissed her passionately. "Do you want to look around?"

Meredith smiled, "Yea."

She turned around and ran up the steps of the house. Derek ran after her and unlocked the door. They walked through the empty house. As they stood in the room that they decided would be the nursery, Derek looked at Meredith. "So this is the cupcake's room?"

Meredith laughed. "This can be it."

"I love you Meredith." Derek kissed her sweetly.

"I love you too and thank you." Meredith smiled. "We better get going. Its time to get ready for the Gala."

"You are very right." Derek took her hand and walked out of the house with her.

"Derek?" Meredith looked at him as he drove.

"Yes honey?"

"Can we start working on her nursery soon?" Meredith waited for his response. "I mean, we already have the crib and its sitting in my apartment."

Derek smiled. "Sure, I mean lets pick out paint and do your baby registry,"

Meredith smiled. "Okay."

He squeezed her hand. "Lets go get ready for the Gala."

Meredith leaned in and kissed him. "Okay."

GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA

WARNING::: MATURE CONTENT 

Meredith finished up getting ready for the Gala in her restroom. She couldn't decide which dress to where, but wanted to surprise Derek.

"Meredith, we have to get going Baby." Derek shouted from the hallway.

"I'm coming!"

Derek went into the kitchen to wait for Meredith. He looked at his watch. "Meredith, the Gala starts in fifteen minutes!"

"I know." Meredith shouted as she hurried and sprayed her hair into place. She grabbed her purse and walked into the kitchen. "I'm ready."

Derek looked up and smiled.

_She's is breathtaking. _

"What?" Meredith asked worried. "You don't like my dress?"

Derek stood up and walked over to her. "Meredith, you look beautiful." He put his hands on each side of her face and kissed her. "We don't have to go to the Gala."

Meredith smiled. "Yes we do, you have to speak. Besides, I put this dress on and went through all of this work."

"You look…hot." Derek said while kissing her. "I'm…very…glad …that you're my girl."

Meredith laughed. "You're my guy."

"Well darling, are you ready to go." Derek held his arm out for Meredith.

"Yes I am darling." She took his hand and walked out to the car with him.

When their car pulled up in front of the Four Seasons, Derek handed the car keys to the valet. He opened Meredith's door and helped her out. "Meredith, don't forget your purse."

"Oh, right." Meredith grabbed her evening purse from the center console of the car. She turned around and reached for Derek's hand. "You look handsome."

"Thanks Baby." Derek pulled her closer. "You are so beautiful Meredith."

"You said that, but thank you." Meredith smiled.

"No Meredith, you don't get it." Derek whispered into her ear. "I love you and every single time I look at you I want you even more."

Meredith smiled. "Derek."

"Meredith all I have to say is I hope this Gala goes very quickly." Derek said with a smile. He kissed her cheek and gently grabbed her hand. "Let's go inside Baby."

Meredith smiled and followed Derek inside of the ballroom. "Derek what is being served for dinner?"

"Steak and potatoes." Derek said with a smile.

Meredith frowned. "Oh."

"But you like that stuff Meredith. " Derek handed the tickets to a greeter.

"Yea, but I'm in the mood for French fries." Meredith groaned.

Derek laughed. "We'll order room service after."

"Okay." Meredith smiled cutely. "I get a strawberry milkshake too."

"Yes you do." Derek kissed her hand. "The Bellman already put our things in our room, so we won't have to go to the car."

"Good." Meredith winked. She put her hand on her stomach. "Alright, I see Burke and Christina."

"Well, we're seated with them." Derek said as he led her through the crowd and to their table.

"Hey." Christina said as she stood up. She hugged Meredith. "You look so pretty."

"Thanks, I love your dress." Meredith smiled. "Hey Burke."

Burked stood up and kissed Meredith on the cheek. "Good evening Meredith, hello Derek."

"Burke." Derek nodded as he pulled a seat out for Meredith. "Here Baby."

"Thank Babe." Meredith sat down and the waiter came to get her drink order. "Water please."

Derek smiled at Meredith. "So, Christina how are the kids."

"Loud." Christina laughed. "I swear all they do is run around and scream. I wished Izzie lots of luck tonight."

Meredith laughed. "Well soon they will have a little cousin to play with."

Derek smiled and kissed her lightly. "You know, you look so amazing. I would take you right here if I could."

"Hey we heard that!" Burke laughed. "Get a room."

"We have one." Derek replied.

"Leave it to you guys to get a hotel." Christina said. "I'm just happy to have a few hours with my husband without the time to break for a diaper change or bed time stories."

Meredith eyed Derek and smiled. "Derek bought a house."

"Oh good he finally told you." Christina said as she buttered her role.

"You knew?" Meredith asked.

"We all knew." Christina replied. 

Meredith looked at Derek, "How long did they all know?"

"Well Christina and Izzie went with me to see the house about a month ago." Derek said. "I wanted to be sure you would like it."

"I love it." Meredith smiled.

Before they could finish the Emcee for the night took the stage. "Welcome to the New York Surgeons Hospital Gala. It is my pleasure to welcome you to an even so great that, it brings some of the finest surgeons into the same room."

The audience clapped and Meredith looks at Derek. He smiled back at her.

"I would like to introduce our first speaker. He is the head of Neurology at New York General Hospital. Ladies and Gentleman, a man with better hair than me, Dr. Derek Shepherd."

The audience clapped and Derek leaned over to kiss Meredith. He walked up to the stage and shook the Emcees hand. "Thank you everyone. Normally when I am asked to speak at these events it is to ask for money or talk about a new procedure, but tonight I am here to tell you about the success of the Neurology program and to thank the family of Dr. William Fresh. When Dr. Fresh passed away he left 3.6 million dollars to the neurology are of the hospital."

Meredith clapped along the rest of the audience. She made eye contact with Derek and pure lust came to her deep eyes. She was so proud of him as she watched him speak in his tuxedo. She also found him to be incredibly sexy.

"You know, I really have to say a special thank you to the woman in my life." Derek smiled during his speech. "She always stands behind me and is my reason for trying so hard. I can't think of anyone I would rather be with and I am beyond thrilled that we are expecting a baby girl in the next few months. So thank you Meredith and I love you."

The audience clapped and Meredith blushed. She made eye contact with Derek again and mouthed, "I love you."

Once Derek finished up his speech he made his way back to the table. Meredith kissed him, "I'm so proud of you."

"Thank you Baby." Derek smiled and kissed her again.

"Oh get a room." Christina whispered as she closed her eyes.

Derek winked at Meredith. He leaned into her ear, "After the speeches we are leaving and going back to the room."

Meredith just smiled and bit her lip. She leaned into Derek. "You're going to get lucky doctor."

Derek smiled and took a hold of her hand. As they waited for the last speaker to finish, he noticed Meredith had moved her hand down to the front of his pants. He coughed to cover up a moan and Meredith giggled. As the applause began for the last speaker Derek looked at Meredith. "You want to leave?"

Meredith looked at Derek, then to their friends. "I'm exhausted. I think we are going to head out."

"Yeah whatever." Christina rolled her eyes. 

"Have a great night you two." Derek said as he took Meredith's hand. "Meredith don't forget your purse."

"Oh yea, I swear pregnancy has made me very forgetful." Meredith smiled. "Goodnight guys."

Derek held onto Meredith's small hand as he led her out of the classy ballroom. He pulled her closer when they got to the lobby. He pressed the elevator button and they waited in silence for the doors to open.

_Ding _

The elevator doors opened and Derek was relieved to find it vacant. He stepped on with Meredith. Derek pulled her into his arms and put his hand on the side of her face. He kissed her as she backed him into the wall of the elevator.

"Derek." She began unbuckling his belt as he lowered himself to her neck.

_Ding _

They backed off the elevator as he kissed her and she pulled off the belt. They pulled apart just long enough to find their room.

Derek unlocked the door and they rushed in, closing the door behind them. Meredith pulled his suit coat off of his shoulders as he pinned her against the wall. She began to undo his Cole Haan tie as he kissed her and lowered the straps to her dress. When he realized the dress wouldn't go any further he reached behind her and unzipped the dress. He let it fall to her sides, and then unsnapped her strapless bra. 

Meredith unbuttoned his dress pants and let them fall, along with his Ralph Lauren boxer briefs. She massaged his erection, only getting tougher to grab his balls. Derek groaned into her mouth, "Meredith."

Meredith smiled as she bit on his lip. "I…"

Derek cut her off by sending his tongue back into her mouth. He ran his hands up and down her small porcelain arms. He kissed her neck and she arched her head back. He kissed down to her breasts and took one into his mouth as he flicked it with his tongue. He loved everything about her new body and even the bigger breasts. He moved on to her other breast as she moaned and rubbed her hands along his chest. Derek kissed down to her stomach and put hands on each side. He smiled and kissed her belly as Meredith looked down and smiled at him. His lips moved to the bottom of her stomach and down to her wet center as he gently rubbed her inner thighs. Derek ushered Meredith to spread her legs open and she did as she put her hands on the back of his head. She tried her best to contain her self, but pleasure took over."Derek…"

"Shhh…" Derek smiled and kissed her area. "You're wet Meredith."

Meredith smiled, "Please."

He smiled at the sheer intensity of her pleading for him. "You're mind Meredith."

"Derek…please just…" He licked into her wet center, tasting her wetness. "Oh my…"

He thrashed his tongue around inside of her until she came. "Meredith you're sweet." He kissed back up until he got back up to her stomach. He put his hands on her ass an kept his lips on her stomach. "You're amazing."

Meredith smiled and rand her hands through his hair. She gasped when she felt his finger rush into her. "Derek…please…Oh my…"

"Meredith…" She threw her head back again as he divulged into her with urgency and desire. "I need you…inside...me…Oh God."

Derek stood up and pulled the finger out. He licked her juices off of his finger as she began to slowly unbutton his shirt. "Meredith." He walked backwards and sat on the edge of the comfortable hotel bed. She stood above him and kissed as he kept his hands on her side. 

"Fuck me Derek." Meredith said with a smile. "Take me for a wild ride."

"Oh Meredith." He watched as she pushed the rest of his shirt over his shoulders.

She straddled herself over him. "Fuck me senseless Derek."

"I love it when you talk dirty." He really did, because his Meredith was a sweet girl. "Sometimes you're a bad girl."

"I'm bad…very bad." Meredith giggled through the kisses. She stroked his erection roughly, until she was sure he was hard enough. She bent over and kissed it, before standing up and lowering herself onto him. Instantly she moaned in pleasure. She ran her hands through his curly hair. "Derek…"

He began rocking back in forth, as her body caught up with him. Their lips crashed together as she pushed him further into her. He began kissing her neck which made her body go crazy. He smiled when she arched her body, "You like that?"

"Oh God yes.."Meredith dug her hands into his shoulder and rocked harder as he thrusted into her. He helped by pushing on her shoulders. Her body tightened around him as she came. "Oh Derek…Ooooo"

"Oh God Meredith." He watched as she closed her eyes and dipped her head back. He could feel his orgasm peak and he grasped her by her ass, pushing her further on to him. He yelled out in ecstasy. "Oh God Meredith! Oh my…"

She grabbed his face and crashed her lips on to his, when he spilled violently into her with one last thrust. "Derek…"

They sat on the bed panting and dripping with sweat. He kissed under her chin. "Meredith you are amazing."

She held on to his face and brushed his hair back with her other hand. "I love you and everything about you."

They held each other briefly, then Meredith stood, pulling herself off of him. She laid back on the bed and he positioned himself next to her. "Derek?"

He brushed his hand along her flushed, sweaty cheek and kisses along her perspired neck. "Yes Mer?"

" I'm all sweaty." She smiled. "Derek…"

"I know you are." He kissed the spot on her neck.

"I…we…the room…shower." She could barely get the words out as he drove her wild.

"You want to shower?" He nibbled at her ear as she ran her hand along his chest, playing with the curly hair.

"Uh-huh." She uttered. 

Since even with the pregnancy weight she was light, he was able to scoop her into his arms. "Come on, lets get wet."

She smiled and put her arms around his neck. "Derek, I love you."

He put her down gently, "I love you too." He opened the shower door and smacked her bottom. "You have a cute butt." He closed the shower door and turned on the steamy water. When he turned around Meredith pushed him into the corner.

She pressed her body against his, "Ready for round two baby?"

Derek smiled. He kissed her sweetly and put his hands on her stomach.

_I belong. _

The next morning Derek woke up to someone kissing his neck. His eyes opened and Meredith was straddling his stomach. "Good morning."

"Morning." She smiled as she ran her hands along his stomach. "Its time to get up."

"It is?" He smiled. "You look sexy."

Meredith was wearing his white dress shirt and it was still unbuttoned. "Thanks."

Derek rubbed his hands along her stomach as he spoke. "So what are we doing today."

"Well, we have to do the baby registry and get a Christmas tree." She said with a smile.

"We do and I want to move some things into the new house and you need to notify your apartment building manager." Derek sat up and kissed her belly. "We need to let them know that you and Izzie are moving."

Meredith smiled, "But then lets go Christmas shopping for our friends and family."

"Okay." Derek smiled. "Go put more clothes on."

Meredith laughed, "What, I can't wear this?"

"No." Derek smacked her butt as she stood up.

Meredith went to get dressed and Derek followed her.

PLEASE REVIEW!!! 

16


	24. It's Time

Derek carried a box into the kitchen of the new house he was going to share with Meredith. He smiled when he saw her putting dishes in the cabinets. "Hey Meredith, where does this box go?"

Meredith peaked in the box. "Oh these are some of my frames. Put them in the living room please."

He kissed her on the cheek. "Meredith?"

"Yes?" Meredith smiled.

"Once Burke, Alex and I get all of the boxes in, then would you like me to set up the Christmas tree?" He kissed her cheek again.

"Sure." She wiped a strand of hair out of her face. "Can you believe this baby is due December thirtieth? I was eight months pregnant just yesterday?"

Derek smiled. "The eight months went so fast. I'm going to miss the belly."

Meredith smiled. "We need to finish the nursery tomorrow. The paint is dry, but we need to hang shelves or whatever."

Derek walked up and smelled her hair. "Yes we do."

Meredith smiled put her hand to her stomach. "You hear that Maddie? You're going to have a bedroom soon."

Derek put his hands over Meredith's hands. "We do have one more month to go."

"One more month." Meredith closed her eyes and smiled. "One more."

Derek turned her around in his arms. "That's not a lot of time."

"No it is not." Meredith moved her lips into his. "Then you go to Africa."

Derek frowned. "Then I go to Africa."

"I won't be pregnant anymore." Meredith said. "You won't have to worry about that."

"I like you pregnant." Derek said in between kisses. "It's sexy."

"Yea?"

"Very." He kissed her as he ran his hands up and down her arms. "Sexy."

"Derek, I need to put the new placemats on the table." She moaned as he began to kiss her neck. She wrapped her arms around his neck. "No sex now, maybe later."

Derek laughed. "We could have sex on the counters or table."

"Derek…:

"We'll move the placemats." He said as he bit lightly at her ear.

Meredith laughed. "Your mind is in the gutter.

"We haven't done it there yet." Derek smiled. "Not in our new house anyways."

"Not right now." Meredith kissed him lightly and turned back to cleaning. "We just moved it and there is a lot to do."

"We can do other stuff later or tomorrow. We have nothing planned for tomorrow." Derek smiled.

Derek came up behind her again, pushing her hair to the side and kissing slowly down her neck. "Derek…"

Just then Alex cam through the door carrying chairs for the kitchen table. "Get a room or at least wait until we have all left."

"Hey man, we live here." Derek walked over to the sink and rolled is eyes. "Meredith we need to start testing out the locks in this place."

"Yes we do." Meredith laughed. "Alex you can put that chair up against the table."

"Yea." Alex put the chair away and walked up to hug Meredith. "Alright, I'm going to peace out dude."

"Bye." Meredith responded. "Thanks for helping."

"No problem." Alex grabbed his keys and left.

When the door closed, Derek returned to Meredith's neck. "We're alone.'

"We are alone." Meredith turned around. "But we have a nursery and a Christmas tree to set up. Now I would love it if you would take some of our baby's things and put them in her room, so that I can load up the changing table and her dressers."

"Fine." Derek groaned as he picked up a white basket with pink lining. "Are you kidding me?"

"What?"

"Does she really need all of these clothes?" Derek asked.

"Derek, that is just one basket." Meredith smiled and pointed to the other side of the room. "All of those baskets and boxes are hers too. Oh and the trash bags, because Christina gave me some of the girls clothes."

"How many outfits is she going to need?" Derek was shocked by the unknown number of trips he was going to have to make just for his baby's clothes.

"She needs options." Meredith looked at him cutely.

Derek two baskets together and picked them up. "She might have more clothes then you, if that is possible."

"You like my clothes." Meredith laughed.

"I do, but I love you out of them two." Derek winked.

"You're so cheesy." Meredith put her salt and pepper shakers on the kitchen table.

"You love it." Derek made his way to the stairs.

"I do." Meredith giggled.

A little while later Meredith stood in the shower as she finished up washing her hair. She heard Derek come into the restroom. "Hey."

"Hey." She heard from the other side of the shower. "I put the Christmas tree up and the nursery shelves are on the wall."

Meredith smiled as she opened the shower curtain. "Good job."

Derek stepped closer. "And I put the curtains in the nursery, guest room and our room."

"Wow." Meredith leaned out and kissed his nose. "You know, I could use a little help in here."

Derek ripped his shirt off in record time. "Okay."

Meredith put her hand on her waist and giggled. "Don't get to excited Happy Feet. I just need help shaving my legs."

Derek dropped his shoulders as she handed him the razor. He pulled the rest of his clothes off and stepped into the shower. Meredith propped her leg on the shower marble shower ledge and handed Derek her shaving cream. He put some of the pink gel on his hand and lathered it onto her thin legs. He ran the razor along her legs until he was done. "Is that better Miss?"

Meredith giggled. "Yes thank you." She pulled her closer to him. "Now I think it would be great if we could get our Christmas tree ready."

"If you give me sex first." Derek winked. "You see, I'm not going to have sex for months in Africa."

"Derek, I'm tired." Meredith whined. "My feet hurt."

"I'll massage your feet. We'll call it foreplay." Derek kissed her neck. "It could be fun."

Meredith rolled her eyes. "Fine, but can I just lay there?"

"Nope, we're having hot wild kinky and trashy sex. You're not going to be happy if you miss taking part." Derek helped her out of the shower. "Oh one more thing."

"What?" Meredith said as she put her lavender robe on.

"Come here." He led her out of the bedroom and over to the nursery door. "Close your eyes."

Meredith covered her eyes. "What?"

Derek opened the door and led Meredith in. "Okay Baby, open your eyes."

Meredith opened her eyes and looked at the room in amazement.

"Oh my…" Meredith was speechless.

"The bed is all that is set up. I figured you would want to do the rest together." He said as he put his hand on her waist. "Do you like it?"

Meredith wiped a tear away. "I love it."

"Good." Derek smiled. "I have one more surprise hidden in the guest room. I'll put it in our room once you see it."

"More?" Meredith smiled. "No wonder you didn't want me to go into the baby's room for the past week."

Derek laughed. "Go look in the guest room." 

Meredith smiled then walked right by him and into the guest room. She smiled when she saw her gift.

"Derek..." Meredith smiled and turned around.

"You didn't get one for your baby shower and I know you said you wanted one for our room." Derek smiled. "Do you like this one?"

"Derek, I love it." Meredith began to cry. "I just, it's hitting me that you're not going to be here to do this with me."

"Oh Baby." He put his arms around her. "I'll be back."

"I know, but you're going to miss things." Meredith put her head in his chest.

"It will be okay remember email and calling on the phone during designated times. You're going to send pictures and video. I will too I promise." Derek kissed her. "It's okay Meredith."

"Okay." She titled her head upward and Derek met his lips at hers.

"I love you and don't forget that." He kissed her again. "I'm never going to stop being here for you or our baby. Just because I'm gone, doesn't mean I'm not here for you."

Meredith smiled. "I know."

"You tired?" Derek changed the subject.

"No." She led him out of the newly painted guest room by the hand. "I think it is time you get a proper thank you and payment for all of your hard work."

"Oh." A grin spread across Derek's face. "I like thank yous."

Meredith giggled as she led him down the hall. "I bet you do."

_we'll be okay._

"Yea, right there Baby." Meredith giggled as she munched on a fresh tangerine and looked at her magazine. "Yeah…oh yeah you got it."

"You know that could sound very dirty." Derek said as he massaged her feet. "I like dirty."

"It could, but it's not because I'm very pregnant with swollen rhino feet." Meredith threw a piece of tangerine peel at him.

"You don't have rhino feet." Derek kissed the bottom of her feet. "But you are very pregnant."

It had been a week since Meredith and Derek moved into their new house and almost everything was put together, since Derek was leaving shortly after the birth. The Christmas tree and other decorations were up. Most of the rooms had been painted by Derek with the help of Alex, Callie, George and Burke. Meredith did most of her holiday baking.

"Derek did you know that Eva Longoria was a beauty queen?" Meredith took off her glasses. "Never mind don't answer that."

Derek laughed. "No I didn't."

"Good." She smiled. "She used to go hunting in Texas."

"So, I pretty much cut a brain in half today." Derek responded as he sat next to her on the bed. "I saved a man's life."

"Well, aren't you just the superhero?" Meredith laughed.

"Hey..." Derek acted offended. "That hurt."

Meredith leaned over and kissed him on the lips. "I'm sorry baby."

"It's okay." Derek pretended to have a pouty lip.

Meredith hit him with the pillow. "Get over it you big baby."

"Ouch." Derek acted like it hit. "Pillows are dangerous."

"Oh okay." Meredith rolled her eyes. "You know you are very whiny for someone who cuts people's heads open for a living."

"You're cute when you're a bully." Derek kissed her cheek. "How was work today?"

"It was good, but my feet were killing me." Meredith leaned her head against Derek's shoulder. "Twelve days until Christmas and the bakery was so busy."

"It must have been full of people who bought cookies in hopes of putting them on a fancy plate and calling them their own." Derek took her magazine. "Kiss me."

Meredith kissed Derek passionately. "You like my nails?" Meredith held up her newly manicured nails. "Izzie and I went to get our nails done after work."

"Very nice." Derek looked at her fingers and then kissed her hand. "I like it."

Meredith felt a strong pain in her side. She took a deep breath and looked over at Derek. "So were any other cool surgeries in your day?"

Derek shook his head. "No, I did a few minor ones, but nothing big."

"Cool." Meredith took a deep breath and looked at Derek. "I'm thirsty."

"What can I get the pretty lady?" Derek smiled and stroked her hair.

"Water please, with three ice cubes." Meredith was being very precise.

"Okay." Derek laughed. "Anything else I can get you Baby?"

"Just water." Meredith let go of his hand as he stood up. "There are some white chocolate cookies if you want some in the pink bag by the oven."

"Yummy." Derek kissed her then made his way down the stairs. He filled up a glass of water and placed exactly three perfect ice cubes into the water. Derek grabbed a cookie from the bag and took a bite.

"Derek!" Meredith shouted.

Derek put a straw into the water and walked to the stairs to see Meredith standing at the top. As he walked up the stairs he saw that she looked nervous. "What's wrong Meredith?"

She put her hand to her stomach. "Well. I might be having contractions."

"Are you sure?" Derek asked as he stood next to her.

"Well I'm having sharp cramp like feelings." Meredith responded as she walked back into her bedroom. "They just started, so I think we should wait before freaking out."

"Okay." Derek went and sat on the bed. "Come sit with me."

Meredith went over to the bed and sat with Derek. She laid her head on his chest. "I'm scared."

"I know." Derek kissed her forehead. "It's all going to be alright."

_She's not just scared of labor. She knows I leave soon. I'm not even going to be home for Christmas. _

They sat in silence until the next labor pain came. Derek held her hand as she tried to stay calm. "I think it's time."

"Me too." Derek stood up. "I'll get the bags from the closet and nursery."

"Okay." Meredith slid her socks and shoes on. When Derek came back into the room she stood up. "This is it."

"This is it Meredith." He smiled and kissed her lightly. "We're having a baby."

"Yes we are." Meredith smiled. She picked up her pillow and put her arms around Derek. "Derek she's coming early."

"Only three weeks, she'll be alright." Derek tried to say confidently. "She'll be fine."

_She's still our baby, of course we are going to be paranoid. _

"Right, she's going to be alright." Meredith put a faint smile across her face. "We should get going and call the doctor to tell her that I'm on my way."

"Okay." Derek led her by the small of her back. They walked into the garage and Derek helped her into their car. He took a deep breath and got into the drivers side. They exchanged glances. "Let's go."

Meredith walked into the hospital, while holding on to Derek's hand. They walked up to the front desk. A young nurse looked up and said. "Oh Dr. Shepherd, how are you?"

"I'm great and you?" Derek responded with a smile.

"I'm…" The nurse was interrupted. 

"Okay I'm glad you have a new girlfriend Derek, but right now I am in labor." Meredith shouted.

"Right, sorry." Derek kissed her cheek and Meredith rolled her eyes. "My fiancé is here and she's been having contractions."

"Aww that's great." The nurse handed Derek a clipboard.

"Yeah I'm sure its fantastic." Meredith said in a snotty tone. "Why don't you ask me in a few hours."

Derek smirked. "How soon until she'll be in a room?"

"Well you guys can follow me." The nurse stood up. "I can put you in one right away."

"Great." Derek smiled. "Thank you Vera."

"Anytime Dr.Shepherd." The nurse said as Derek and Meredith followed her.

"Oh your new girlfriend Vera gave you a nickname." Meredith rolled her eyes.

"Meredith honey, calm down." Derek pulled her close and held her hand. "I love you."

"Yeah, yeah." Meredith stopped. "Ohh…contraction."

"Okay." Derek held on hand on her back and allowed her to squeeze the other one. "Okay, you alright?"

"Yeah." Meredith stood up straight and followed the nurse.

"Okay, here is your room." She handed Meredith a hospital gown. "Somebody will be in shortly to examine you."

"Thanks." Meredith said as she sat her purse down. When the nurse closed the doors she spoke up. "Nope, no way."

"No way to what?" Derek asked as he stepped closer.

"I can't do this, I'm not going to." Meredith began to cry. "I want to go home."

Derek walked up and put his hands on both sides of her face. "Meredith this is scary, but this is also a good thing."

"Please take me home. I promise I'll do anything!" Meredith sobbed into his chest. "Please."

"Meredith Baby, I can't do that." Derek kissed her head. "I'm going to be here the whole time."

"Even when I yell?" Meredith began to calm down.

"Especially when you yell." He smiled lightly.

"Okay, because it hurts now and I'm not even to the hard part." Meredith looked up.

"I expect yelling." Derek kissed her again. "Now, go change."

"Okay." Meredith went into the restroom and changed into the down. She walked over and sat on the hospital bed. "So the baby is on her way."

"Cupcake is on her way." Derek smiled. "I can't wait to meet her."

"Me either." Meredith smiled as she clasped her hands together. She felt another contraction coming. Derek rubbed her back as she came through it. "This blows!"

Derek laughed. "Meredith you're cute."

"I'm cute?" Meredith laughed. "Oh, well I'm glad that you think this is all fluffy and sweet. Do you realize that this all lasts until I push the baby out?"

Derek's face straightened up. "Yeah, but Meredith..."

"Oh don't Meredith me." Meredith cut him off. "This could take a while. I have to be dilated to ten centimeters. I have to push a baby out while I'm ten centimeters."

"I know Meredith…" Derek took her hand.

Meredith pulled her hand away. "Have you ever seen a damn ruler Derek?"

Derek smirked. "Women do it everyday."

"Oh don't pull that one on my like this is supposed to be a flippin cake walk." Meredith raised her voice. "Ten freaking centimeters for me to push a whole human out."

Derek kissed her forehead. "I'm sorry."

Meredith laid her head back on the pillow. "We are never having sex again. Nope…never."

Derek smiled since she wasn't looking. "No sex?"

"None, not even if you beg and offer to do that thing with your tongue or the shower thing."

"Not even for the shower thing?" Derek kissed her cheek.

"Not even for the shower thing." Meredith pointed her finger. "I'll get a dildo."

Derek laughed and then saw a glare from Meredith, "Sorry."

"Forgiven." She smiled.

"Meri…"

"Yeah?" 

"This is our last time together with it being just us." Derek sat on the edge of the bed. "Then we will have another little person around us."

Meredith smiled. "Do you want to make out?"

Derek laughed. "What?"

"Well we can't have sex and we're not going to be able to until after you return from Africa." Meredith frowned. "So, the only action you're getting for a few months might as well be some very sexual kissing in between contractions. Although we can also make out as a way to celebrate you getting to stay a few extra days and you won't miss the birth like you worried about."

Derek smiled and scooted his body closer to Meredith. He placed his lips against hers and pulled her closer. As his tongue entered her mouth she moaned in pleasure. He stroked her hair as she rand her hand along his back. They pulled apart when their bodies tensed up. "You okay."

Meredith closed her eyes. "Contra…ouch."

He kissed her cheek and sat up. "I'll go get you some ice chips."

A few hours later the doctor came in to examine Meredith. "Alright Ms. Grey, you're completely dilated."

Meredith took a deep breath and looked at Derek with tears in her eyes. "Okay."

Derek kissed her head. "Baby, you're going to be fine. It'll all be over in a second."

Meredith put her head into Derek's side as he stood over her bed. "Okay."

"Alright Meredith, healits going to be a cake walk for you." The doctor smiled. "When I tell you too push, push on a count."

Meredith swallowed the knot in her throat. She nodded and the doctor instructed her to push. She squeezed Derek and pushed as long as she could.

"And stop." The doctor suctioned. "Okay Meredith I need you to push again."

"I can't." Meredith cried. "I can't."

"Yes you can Meredith." The doctor said in a warm tone. "You have to do this."

Derek made eye contact with the doctor. He then looked back at Meredith. "Meredith honey, we need you to push for you and the baby. The sooner you do it, the sooner she will be here."

"Do it for me please." Meredith cried.

Derek laughed lightly. "How about if get up there and I sit behind you?"

Meredith nodded, "Okay."

Derek took his shoes off and got onto the bed. He opened his legs and scooted so that Meredith was sitting in the middle. Derek took her hands in his. "Okay Meri, we're going to do this together. Squeeze my hands, but I am still here for you."

"Okay." Meredith took a deep breath.

The doctor smiled at them. "Okay Meredith…One…two…three…four…five….okay and stop."

Meredith stopped pushing and put her head back into Derek's chest. "This hurts honey."

Derek smiled. "Are you happy you got the epidural?"

"Shut up." Meredith nodded. "Is it time to push?"

There doctor looked at the monitor. "Yes, you are about to start your next contraction."

Derek kissed Meredith on her head. She was dripping sweat and he could tell through her golden hair. "Come on Meri."

Meredith lifted readjusted herself and sat up and pushed. "I'm ready."

"Okay Meredith, I see the baby's head." The doctor suctioned. "One…two…three…four and stop."

Meredith took a big gasp.

"Okay Meredith the baby's head is out." The doctor smiled. "One more big push Meredith."

Meredith nodded and Derek got up and stood by her bedside. Meredith held tightly to Derek's arm as she let out a big and long push.

"…two…three..four and great." The doctor smiled as a strong cry was heard. "It's a girl."

Meredith relaxed her body and put her head back as Derek kissed all over her. "She's here Meredith."

Meredith looked at the tears in Derek's eyes as she listened to the cry of her new baby.

"Dr. Shepherd, would you like to cut your daughter's umbilical cord?" The doctor asked as she handed his the medical scissors.

"Yeah." Derek nodded and cut the cord where he was instructed. He walked over to Meredith, holding his new baby girl and trying to hold in his cry. "Meredith, she's beautiful."

Meredith stopped crying, "Can I see her?"

"Yes you can." Derek slid the baby gently into Meredith's arms.

Meredith kissed the new baby and a tear fell from her eye.

_She's so small. _

"She's so tiny." Meredith smiled as she played with the baby's fingers. 

"Well, she was early." The doctor smiled and walked over. "Your new baby weighed a small five pounds and three ounces and was only sixteen inches long."

"You were tiny Cupcake." Derek said with smile. He tilted Meredith's head up and kissed her. "You did a great job."

Meredith smiled. "Thank you. Derek?"

"Yes baby?"

"I love you." She kissed him again and then looked back to the baby.

"I love you too." Derek kissed her head. "I love our Madison Hailey too."

"We love you Madison, also known as your Daddy's little cupcake." Meredith smiled as the baby began to cry. Meredith looked up at Derek, "For someone who is so tiny, she sure likes to cry."

"She wants to be heard." Derek smiled. "I know its early, but she has your nose."

"Its not too early, because I noticed that she has your hair." Meredith laughed. "In a few days we should be able to see her eye color, I bet they'll be blue."

Derek laughed. "They'll be brown."

"Why? Yours are blue and mine are greenish. Where would she get brown?" Meredith wondered.

"Well, my Dad and two of my sister's had brown eyes. I think hers will be brown or green." Derek smiled. "She'll be beautiful just like her mommy."

Meredith giggled. "Poor baby."

Suddenly a wave of sadness crossed over Derek as he realized he was going to miss some of Madison Hailey Shepherd's life. He took a deep breath.

_The time will go fast. _

Derek sat and watched Meredith interact with their new baby. There was something amazing happening in front of him and he wanted to keep this picture in his head forever.

Madison Hailey Shepherd  
5 lbs 3 ounces  
16 inches  
New York General Hospital

Parents: Meredith Grey and Dr. Derek Shepherd

PLEASE REVIEW!!!!


End file.
